WHAT WE'RE ABOUT

RBI focuses on using expressive writing, design-oriented work, photography, media, research, and community input to fuel fat positive, body acceptance, discussion, and outreach. Our goal is to redefine the way we view and think about body image, size, fat, discrimination, health, fitness, wellness, mental/chronic illness, stigma, and other related topics.

We are constantly redefining our own perspectives, and therefore tend to write a lot about our personal experiences. Many followers and contributors are living with anorexia, bulimia, body dysmorphic disorder, depression, and a variety of other body image disorders or mental illnesses, so please be respectful and remember that health applies differently to everyone. Any and all potentially triggering content will be prefaced with a trigger warning.

RBI supports all races, genders, classes, and sizes. We try our best to make this a safe space for everyone. If we are not doing our job or checking our privilege, we invite you to please inform us.

Some of the artwork you see here has been created by our founder or moderators, some sourced when applicable. Please be kind enough to source this blog whenever you share it's content.

We are not health professionals. Any and all advice provided on this blog is supported only by our own research, studies, and personal experiences; nothing more.

This blog is part of the Safe Space Network.
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npr:

Dudes in capes, dudes in cars, dudes in space. In many parts of the country right now, if you want to go to see a movie in the theater and see a current movie about a woman — any story about any woman that isn’t a documentary or a cartoon — you can’t. Where did all the women go? At The Movies, The Women Are Gone : Monkey See

Photo: iStockphoto.com

This article illustrates just how big of a problem we have with the lack of representation, not just of women but of POC, queer and trans* people, fat people, people with disabilities, etc. The vast majority of media is centered on and catering to thin, able-bodied cishet white men. This article is about gender representation in movies, but the industry is even WORSE when it comes to race.  In most places in the country right now you couldn’t even find a female centered movie to go see if you wanted to, let alone one featuring men and women of color.  It is so frustrating and marginalizing to almost EVERYONE.  And yes, part of it is that it is summer, the time of the testosterone-fulled, hyper-masculine action/super hero blockbuster.  But let’s not pretend it changes much at any time of year. 

We need to see ourselves represented in the culture, in all our different manifestations, in order to understand ourselves and each other as fully human.  It may seem like a small thing but it is SO IMPORTANT.  Blogs like this one can only do so much to fill in the gaps of our cultural imagination.  Is it any wonder that our culture lacks empathy for people of color, women, queer people, trans* people, people with disabilities, fat people, when the only characters we routinely asked to imagine and identify with are white men? 

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GUYS CHECK THIS OUT! Amazing people making amazing art, I love it.

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transbodypride:

My Hairy Asymmetrical & Transgender Breast.  http://thesisterabigailshow.tumblr.com/

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bad-dominicana:

julianahuxtable:

SO I’M DOING A SERIES OF ARTICLES FOR THE BEAUTY SECTION OF XOJANE. IT WILL RANGE FROM BASIC SKIN TIPS, MAKE-UP TUTORIALS, TO TRANS-SPECIFIC BEAUTY AND COSMETIC ISSUES. I HOPE THAT SOME OF THE INFO PROVES USEFUL! XOXO

<3<3<3

As a trans woman, not many things give me a headache the way the entire concept of passing does. Passing is the idea that if a trans woman (or any person who is presenting as a woman) looks, dresses and acts a certain way, people won’t be able to tell they are anything other than a completely “normal” woman. If you look at online trans communities or forums, you’ll find tons of tips on how to pass better – everything from hair removal tips to workouts to how to walk and sit more femininely.
All of this presupposes that there is only one right way to look like and be a woman. And it’s infuriating. On the one hand, whenever I go out in public or post pictures online, a part of me is deathly afraid that I’ll be insulted or worse. I desperately want to be accepted as the woman I am. On the other hand, I hate that in order to feel safe, I’m expected to fit into the very narrow box that is labeled “woman.” Tips on how to pass always seem to say that you should avoid building muscle mass and avoid wearing clothes and makeup that are too costumey, that you should try to hide your shoulders and soften your features. Trans women are often told that if we want to pass, we have to try our hardest to be petite, soft, have just the right amount of femininity, and not stand out too much. But what if I want to be a different kind of woman? What if I want to look like Grace Jones or Kate Moennig? What if I want to look like Beth Ditto or Dolly Parton? They’re all cis women; don’t they pass?

-

Meyllen Djneres (via muffinsandcouture)

The moral of “passing” discussions always seems to be:

If you get bashed it will be your fault.

(via charthebutcher)


Do you even know how badly I’ve been needing to hear exactly these words for the past few months now?

(via sixtyforty)

*slow clap——> standing ovation* yes! Yes yes!

(via boyqueen)

omg when i started transitioning Kate Moennig was legit my goal

(via dizzzyrichardpig)

i was totally having a discussion around passing and this concept of “full” or “part-time” earlier. so much to say. 

(via sistahmamaqueen)

not to mention the concept of passing particularly with regards to womanhood is anti-Black and racist

(via crackerhell)

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bodypositivityforguys:

fatswaggin:

I recently modeled in a fashion show at my university’s Black Family Weekend (open to all students and families but with a multicultural and Black Pride focus).  I’m a transmasculine genderfluid person, and I modeled with the guys who were very supportive.


A few minutes before I was about to walk, the only other two big guys/models and I were standing around when one of them said “We’ve got to represent… for all the bigger people out there.” 

;)

[photo of a chubby, light-skinned individual standing proudly on a fashion runway with an audience in the background.  The individual has short hair and is wearing glasses, a black sweatshirt with a red design that looks like a man riding a horse, blue jeans, and black boots.]

mocosyamores:

qbits:

thepeoplesrecord:

Going beyond the Western gender binary - unlearning our backward cultural conditioning 

In Western colonial society (which dominates many aspects of the globalized, capitalist world today) we operate under the presumption that there are only two genders, male and female. But gender is a social construction. One’s options for what gender they identify with are shaped by the culture they are born into. Biological factors are most-often the primary driving forces that choose among the available socially-constructed gender categories.

Cultures around the world have different ways of talking about, thinking about, and identifying gender. It’s often a challenge for (particularly cis-sexual) Westerns to think about other ways gender can be socially constructed. Westerns have the false equivalency of gender and sex drilled into their eternal psyche from the time they are very young, and re-enforced through examples in popular culture. There is no biological reality to gender. Many Westerners have the bizarre belief that one’s XY-sex-determination should also inform one’s gender identity, a socially constructed role in society.

In some cultures, there is no distinction made between gender and sexual orientation and the same can be said for sexual orientation - our culture socially-constructs the options and our biology helps us identify which socially-constructed option feels most ‘right’ and best resonates with us.

I’ve attached some photos to offer some examples of non-colonial, non-Western construction of gender. They’ve all been uploaded onto our Facebook page photostream in case you’d like to ‘like’ or ‘share’ them there. There are literally hundreds of ‘third-gender’ identifying peoples around the world. The eight I’ve chosen are mostly examples I remember from some of my anthropology courses but if you google ‘third genders’ you can find many lists and examples.

Who cares? Why it matters.

The most obvious reason to care about the way our culture has constructed gender and sexual orientation is to deepen one’s capacity for solidarity with people who identify as transgender, transsexual, and others whose gender or sexual identity exists outside of binary Western culture.

But there are other reasons as well. Western culture’s binary nature often creates non-sensical, problematic binary identity constructions that are inherently problematic. For example, I believe that Western masculinity (dominance, aggression, lack of communication, lack of emotional expression, etc) is inherently problematic. I believe that to be the reason why most acts of large-scale-violence and terror are committed by men (see: 100% of the mass school shootings in the United States), and I believe it fosters a degree of internal misery within people who heavily adopt these particular ‘masculine’ traits.

In the age of information, and the age of global connectivity, there is no longer any reason (particularly for young people) to feel isolated or restricted to Western definitions of gender, sexual orientation and identity in general. I think the social ramifications of a generation where more and more people begin to identify outside of the gender binary would be tremendous, and I think we should all consider how we can unlearn our cultural conditioning to embrace other, perhaps less exploitative and dominating identities.

Background information on the identities depicted in the above images:

Hijras
Hijras are male-body-born, feminine-gender-identifying people who live in South Asia (mostly in India & Nepal). Many Hijras live in well-defined, organized, all-Hijra communities, led by a guru.

Although many Hijras identify as Muslim, many practice a form of syncretism that draws on multiple religions; seeing themselves to be neither men nor women, Hijras practice rituals for both men and women.

Hijras belong to a special caste. They are usually devotees of the mother goddess Bahuchara Mata, Lord Shiva, or both.

Nandi female husbands
Among the Nandi in Western Kenya, one social identity option for women is to become a female husband, and thus a man in society’s eyes. Female husbands are expected to become men and take on all of the social and cultural responsibilities of a man, including finding a wife to marry and passing on property to the next generation through marriage. Female husbands may have lived their lives as women and may even be married to a man, but once she becomes a female-husband, she is expected to be a man. Women married to female-husbands may have sex with single men uninterested in commitment in order to become pregnant, but the female-husband (who is often an older woman, often a widow) will father the child of said pregnancy and treat the child like her own.

Two-spirited people
Two-Spirit is an umbrella term sometimes used for what was once commonly known as ‘berdaches’, Indigenous North Americans who fulfill one of many mixed gender roles found traditionally among many Native Americans and Canadian First Nations communities. The term usually indicates a person whose body simultaneously manifests both a masculine and a feminine spirit. Male and female two-spirits have been “documented in over 130 tribes, in every region of North America.”

Travesti
In South America (with a large presence in Brazil), a travesti is a person who was assigned male at birth who has a feminine gender identity and is primarily sexually attracted to masculine men. Therefore, sometimes the distinction between gender identity and sexual orientation is not made. Travestis have been described as a third gender, but not all see themselves this way.Travestis often will begin taking female hormones and injecting silicone to enlargen their backsides as boys and continue the process into womanhood.

The work of cultural Anthropologist Don Kulick (a gay male by Western definitions) in Brazil demonstrated that gender construction in Brazil is binary (like Western gender construction), but unlike Western gender construction, instead of having a male-female binary, there is a male-notmale.

In this particular construction of gender:

  • Males include: men who have sex with women, men who have sex with Travestis but are never on the receiving end of anal sex, men who have sex with men but are never on the receiving end of anal sex.
  • Not-males include: women, men who receive anal sex from ‘male’ gay men or from Travestis.

Fa’afafine
Fa’afafine are the gender liminal, or third-gendered people of Samoa. A recognized and integral part of traditional Samoan culture, fa’afafine, born biologically male, embody both male and female gender traits. Their gendered behavior typically ranges from extravagantly feminine to mundanely masculine

Waria
Waria is a traditional third general role found in modern Indonesia. Additionally, the Bugis culture of Sulawesi (one of the four larger Sunda Islands of Indonesia) has been described as having three sexes (male, female and intersex) as well as five genders with distinct social roles.

Six Genders of old Israel
In the old Kingdom of Israel (1020–931 BCE) there were six officially recognized genders:

  • Zachar: male
  • Nekeveh: female
  • Androgynos: both male and female
  • Tumtum: gender neutral/without definite gender
  • Aylonit: female-to-male transgender people
  • Saris: male-to-female transgender people (often inaccurately translated as “eunuch”)

Kathoey (often called ‘ladyboys’)
Australian scholar of sexual politics in Thailand Peter Jackson’s work indicates that the term “kathoey” was used in pre-modern times to refer to intersexual people, and that the usage changed in the middle of the twentieth century to cover cross-dressing males, to create what is now a gender identity unique to Thailand. Thailand also has three identities related to female-bodied people: Tom, Dee, and heterosexual woman.

-Robert

Excellent overview of non-binary gender categories. Sadly, Western imperialism has all but extirpated many traditional concepts of non-dualistic sex and gender categories through residential schools and religious indoctrination. -Q

This gives me all kinds of gender life and power.

genderfluidity:

onceevilregal:

Think of something that you desperately wanted at some point in your life. Maybe you have something right now that you desire. It could be something concrete, like new shoes, or something abstract, like your dream career. Whatever it is, focus on that feeling of desire. That desperate yearning. That I-would-claw-my-own-eyes-out-to-have-it need.

Never wanted anything that badly? Seriously? Then think about someone/something you miss, or missed in the past. Think about that desire to have that person/thing back. It’s that same desire.

Got it? Great.

Now I want you to imagine that all of a sudden, you have the thing you desire. It’s right there, you can see it, touch it, taste it, hold it, whatever. Huzzah! Right?

Wrong.

You have the thing you wanted, but you still desperately want it. The desire, which should have disappeared when you acquired your prize, is still there, as strong as it ever was. Now many how much you hold your prize, how long you stare at it, you cannot assuage your desire. But what can you do? The way to stop desiring something is to obtain it. You’ve done that. What else can you possibly do?

Eventually you decide that the problem must be that you don’t really believe that what you have exists. You’re somehow in denial that you actually possess the object of your desire. In order to satisfy yourself, you need to prove to someone else that you have this object. But there’s a problem. You can’t just go blabbing to anyone and everyone that you have this thing. It’s something that could make people think differently of you, maybe think negatively of you, if they knew what you possessed. For the purposes of this little thought experiment let’s pretend that what you have is an invisible unicorn. A mythic creature that very few people believe exists, and even fewer have actually…seen? Experienced? Cleaned up after? (would invisible unicorn shit be invisible too? Would that be better or worse than cleaning up horse shit? Would it still smell? These are things I wonder.)

I digress.

So you’ve got your unicorn, but you don’t want people to think you’re crazy for saying you have an invisible unicorn in your backyard. So you choose your closest, most open-minded friend, and you tell them about your unicorn. It takes some convincing, and they’re still a little skeptical that what you actually have is a unicorn (maybe it’s just an invisible horse?), but eventually they accept that you do in fact have some sort of invisible creature in your backyard.

Whew.

Maybe, if you’re blessed with really open-minded friends, or even family, you confide in a few more people. And for a little while you feel validated, and your desire actually eases.

But it never disappears. Sometimes it surges up so suddenly and so powerfully that it leaves you breathless. You march out into your backyard and say ‘BUT I ALREADY HAVE THE FUCKING UNICORN’, but it doesn’t matter because you can’t even see the damn thing, just the halter moving around and the grass disappearing as it munches your lawn. And suddenly it dawns on you. Maybe the way to get rid of your desire is to see the unicorn.

But that’s no easy task. It’s possible, you know, but not without confiding in a few strangers (scary thought, bad idea, no no no strangers bad), and not without a lot of money, and a lot of time, and you don’t even know what the unicorn will look like. What if the beautiful creature you’ve been imagining is actually hideous? Worse yet, what if your unicorn really is an invisible horse, and the only thing that made it special was being invisible? You might never be able to make it invisible again. And worse still, what if you are happy with your new horse, and you realize you could have been just as happy with a regular old horse? Because you’ve heard stories of all these things happening, and you know that any one of them is possible.

So you continue to stare at the invisible creature, desperately longing to see it but too afraid (and probably too poor) to start the arduous journey towards actually seeing it.

A better explanation of gender dysphoria I have yet to see. YAAAAAY

chessieness:

meyllendjneres:

Femme Fashion Friday from a fat, trans Latin@

perf

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femmesandfamily:

…and not single fuck was given that day! <3

I. LOVE. This.  Especially the angle and her expression and the wrinkly toes because bathtime is awesome.  And also, I love Elissa, she is one kick-ass babe.

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Hi my name is James and I am gender queer. Like so many, I was told that being fat was wrong and bad. That I was disgusting. I tried so hard to be what they wanted, which was thinner.  Because of places and blogs like this, I learned to love myself. I learned, I was beautiful and that me being fat was not disgusting. What was disgusting was how my family or some of them handled it towards me. I want everyone to know you are not alone and there are people out there like you. You are loved and you are not disgusting. But you are beautiful.<3

queerassfemme:

meyllendjneres:

My outfit for Femme Fashion Friday!

you are always such a glowing beam of gorgeousness <33

This woman has so much fucking STYLE!  You should go read this excellent article she wrote, also.

http://www.autostraddle.com/fat-trans-and-working-on-being-fine-with-it-168108/

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cisprivilege:

thegenderbook:

Transgender & Genderqueer identities page from the GENDER book

Hey Boston, how’s the research going? Remember, as you’re learning about all of these identities, that they are only the tip of the iceberg. It’s okay to identify simply as transgender, as a mix of those identities, none at all, genderqueer like me, or make up something that fits you better! 

Bigender describes those who alternate between two distinct gender roles. May be crossdressers or drag performers.

Intergender describes those who identify between the traditional masculine and feminine genders.

Ambigender describes those who identify to some degree with both the masculine and feminine genders

Genderfluid describes those whose gender behavior and presentation changes depending on the situation or their mood. 

Pangender describes those who identify with all the genders.

Polygender describes someone who identifies with many (though not all) of the genders.

Agender describes those who identify with having no gender or a neutral gender. They may present androgynously or seek to make their bodies more gender-neutral to match their identity. Sometimes also called neutrois.

Third gender describes those who identify with a (often non-Western) gender that is neither masculine nor feminine. See “gender across cultures” on page 6 for more!

Genderqueer describes those whose identities fall outside of the widely accepted gender binaries. Many of the identities [above] could also be described as genderqueer.

They have a great diversity of expression and presentation. An individual who identifies as genderqueer could display few gendered cues to many (potentially conflicting) ones. It’s not really about how they look, though. What genderqueer individuals all share is a nonconforming gender identity and an opposition to gender systems that they perceive as strict or limiting.

ed note: We affirm that labels are starting points for further conversation. A single word can never encapsulate a whole person. You probably have lots of intersecting identities that only scratch the surface of who you are. Gender is one part - what are some others? 

We humbly acknowledge the limited scope of these pages. If you don’t see your identity words here, we empower you to tell us so we may include it in the final version!

_______________________________________________

(cc) the GENDER book project. in progress snapshot presented for community editing and feedback. Please direct all notes to mel@thegenderbook.com or comment using disqus on the original post to ensure your voice gets heard. Thanks!

Just a little reminder that gender is not a binary.  Handy little group of definitions too, for any of our followers struggling with their gender identity.  And it was nice that they acknowledged the list is a start, not an end, point, and that we are so much more than just our gender, whatever that may be.

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ftmporn:

It’s Jackson again!
Told ya you’d be seeing more of him ;)

I think this photo is my favorite out of the 4 he sent us.. there’s just something about an attractive man naked outdoors..
What do you think?

Wonderful photo.

^