WHAT WE'RE ABOUT
We are constantly redefining our own perspectives, and therefore tend to write a lot about our personal experiences. Many followers and contributors are living with anorexia, bulimia, body dysmorphic disorder, depression, and a variety of other body image disorders or mental illnesses, so please be respectful and remember that health applies differently to everyone. Any and all potentially triggering content will be prefaced with a trigger warning.
RBI supports all races, genders, classes, and sizes. We try our best to make this a safe space for everyone. If we are not doing our job or checking our privilege, we invite you to please inform us.
Some of the artwork you see here has been created by our founder or moderators, some sourced when applicable. Please be kind enough to source this blog whenever you share it's content.
We are not health professionals. Any and all advice provided on this blog is supported only by our own research, studies, and personal experiences; nothing more.
This blog is part of the Safe Space Network.
Hey team. I received this message awhile ago. Just to explain, I’ve blocked out part of the message because it’s discussing a specific photo. I know first-hand how much it hurts to stumble upon someone talking about a photo of you and saying hurtful things, so I blocked that part out to save the girl in the photo from having to experience that.
Then I gave anon a makeover because, well, I do what I want. You’re welcome, anon.
Now that I’ve explained my MS Paint masterpiece, it’s time to actually address this question. I want to start by saying this — that human bodies are capable of evoking emotion in ways that nothing else can. Look at the body of a newborn baby, and you get wonder. You feel awe. Look at the body of a friend laying motionless in a hospital bed and you feel fear, and anger and an ocean of sadness. We don’t even need to know the owner of a body in order to feel its effects deeply. We can watch Olympic swimmers and feel anticipation, pride, power. We can look at the body of a woman in the supermarket bending over to grab a can of olives and we can feel aroused. We react to bodies in so many ways, and what shocks one person can seduce another. What one person finds enviable another can find awkward, and yes, what one person finds beautiful another can find disgusting.
Is your character defined by where you fall on the spectrum and by your gut emotional reactions to the bodies you see every day? I don’t think so. I think the way we view our bodies and the bodies of others is something deeply personal and nuanced and complicated. It’s a giant wadded ball of everything we’ve seen and heard and touched and experienced. In a way, it’s identity itself and that’s something that’s never simply explained.
So if you look at a body and it makes you feel disgusted, so much so that you would rather “kill yourself” than look like that, the answer isn’t to beat yourself up about it. The answer is to challenge yourself — to ask yourself why you feel this way, why wearing a certain skin is to you, a fate worse than death. And if you don’t have an answer, that’s okay — but keep asking. And try to be kind to your body and yourself and the bodies around you and the souls they house inside. The way you view the world is constantly changing. So don’t accept your negative reactions as concrete and static — challenge them and evolve.
: )
Olympians: They come in all shapes and sizes - by Erilyn
I’m sure there are tons of fatter soccer players, table tennis players, canoers, etc., who don’t get their fair share of camera time. But these Olympic athletes, whose bodies still show us the diversity of nations — the diversity of shapes, sizes and colors that define the human condition — prove the diversity of fit (not necessarily skinny or fat) athletes and show what the human body can do.
[Image: Five models of varying heights from shortest to tallest, of varying skin and hair colors and body types standing next to each other, hands by their sides wearing only white sleeveless tops with thin straps and white, very short shorts, looking forward. All of them weight 150lbs. The heights and dresses are: 5ft 2in, Dress size:14, 5ft 4in, dress size 18, 5ft 8in Dress size 12, 5ft 11in dress size twelve, 6ft 1in dress size 10.”]
They all weigh 150lbs
There is no ‘right’ body type. Weight looks different on different people, and it is ALL OKAY. Don’t compare yourself to other people’s bodies, learn to love the body you’re in NOW and what it can do NOW.
First, commentary on the commentary: Let’s be careful when commanding people imperatively to “love the body you’re in”. That’s extremely ableistic and erases those who may hate their current bodies for good damn reason and shouldn’t be told to love something that may be causing them lots of physical and mental pain. I can think of about fifty different reasons this may be the wrong thing to say to someone who is genderqueer or trans* or disabled.
It’s okay to hate your body sometimes. It’s yours and you’re allowed to not be happy with it. If you hate it 24/7, that might not be a pleasant way to exist, but it isn’t wrong. You’re not doing activism or justice wrong.
Also, we’re going to compare our bodies to other’s naturally. It’s not wrong to NOTICE when we’re different. I’m a big damn woman. I don’t want someone pretending like they don’t notice that when I stand next to my size 2 sister that there ain’t some fundamental differences. Those differences are part of who we are.
Comparing and noticing differences fine. Making that comparison the end all, be all final judgment with an eye to deciding who has a “better” or more “right” body is what’s wrong.
Now on to me going “yay!” about the pic.
See, this is one of the things that I want to put in front of everyone who’s crying about the obesity epidemic and BMI’s because weight =/= fatness. That’s been something that’s sorely missed when we’re talking about this issue. 150lbs can go a lot of ways. Yet, you’d have people quickly wading in to say “oh, 150lbs isn’t obese! It isn’t even really overweight! That’s sort of normal, right?”
Ha! Fuck normal.
Also, this picture shows how much bone structure and build go into a dress size as much as weight (the number) and general fatness.
Notice that there’s only a two inch difference between model# 1 and model #2 but one is a size 14 and one is a size 18. Because their bodies are SHAPED differently, because one is heavier on top than another. Because one needs a larger TOP and the other doesn’t. Also notice that model #1 is largest around the middle and legs. If one took merely that models shirt size and not pant, they’d probably put that model in size 12.
But the reverse is true of the model one down the line.
What would be more revealing is to talk about their different shirt and pants size. Because model #2 (from the left) would probably wear a size 14 or lower pant, but a size 18 top. Similarly model #4 (next ot last) would probably be a size 8-10 on top but because they have very wide hips and upper thighs they would take a 12-14 on the bottom.
Likewise, notice the last three models (the tallest/thinnest ones). Notice that the next to last (the 5ft 11in model) is thinner looking than the 5ft 8in model, but wears her same size, even though from the waist up their body smaller than the other person’s.
Why? Because they have much wider hips. Same weight, and only two/three inches of height difference on either side, but because of the body’s shape and distribution of weight, they are in a larger size!
In fact, properly sized for shirt and pants not just dresses, all of these models probably wear a range from a size 6 to a size 18.
Size 6 to size 18. And they are ALL 150 lbs.I want to shove this graphic at so many people. From comic book artists to obesity epidemic scaremongers to clothing manufacturers.
The discussion about fat people and rape NEVER HAPPENS ENOUGH. We’re getting raped all over the place because we’re ‘easy targets’ and then told we should be thankful??? I have not once, EVER seen a thin person mention this, even when talking about the intersectional nature of rape occurrence.
I thought my rapist loved me because he was willing to have sex with me. The mental disconnect astounds me when I look back on that night 12 years ago. I said no several and he kept on going. I just laid there. He hurt me, I bled, he yelled at me for bleeding. It was the first day I had known him. I started dating him and he was sexually and verbally abusive the whole time. It took a long time before I would even talk about it.
When my therapist said, “So, he raped you.” The statement shocked me. I didn’t want to believe that I could be raped. I just thought to myself, “Who would rape a fat girl.”
This is just one more reason why I’m all for teaching people of all shapes and sizes that it is okay to love yourself and you are not subhuman because of the way you look and you never EVER deserve to be abused, raped, or mistreated and you sure as hell should NEVER count yourself as thankful for being raped.
I remember being younger and my friends havng the conversation about what they do to protect themselves from rape (carry keys etc.) and thinking “at least I don’t have to protect myself from rape because I no-one would want me”, not realising that the guy I was with was an abusive rapist who took advantage of my insecurities.
This is why I get so angry about “SJ” on Tumblr not caring about FA. I see y’all discussing the subtleties of power differentiation, and the complexities of intersectionality and lived experiences, and I see fat people erased EVERY GODDAMN TIME. It’s like the fat experience is so irrelevant there’s no point in mentioning it. Either that or your brain isn’t registering it as a real oppression.
We’re dying around you because doctors can’t be bothered to treat us, and we’re being raped and told to say thank you. Where the fuck are you thin people?
I know I posted this earlier, but I’m reblogging it again for the epic commentary. The intersection of fat stigma and rape culture is something I first remember being discussed when #thingsfatpeoplearetold was trending, but I haven’t heard it mentioned since. I actually don’t really have anything important to add right now because…yeah, well…the fact that people say and think stuff like this makes me genuinely quite distressed. I guess I just want to put this issue on the table for discussion…
Echoing the above statement, my heart aches.
This is really, really sad. I’m sorry people treat you that way fat people. Does anyone have any advice for me on trying to make sure my behavior so that I don’t ever discriminate against fat people, because I’ve only become aware of any real prejudice against them really and I’m concerned I may be contributing to that without realising.
YUP.
- Don’t use the word “fat” as a synonym for anything negative. Or anything at all. “Fat” is an adjective. It is a body type. In the same way that thin means thin and tall means tall, fat means fat. That being said, a lot of fat people feel shamed and don’t claim the word to describe their bodies, so you should make sure it’s okay with them first.
- Don’t call yourself fat unless you are fat.
- When fat people complain about size-specific problems, this is your cue to listen. Don’t say “but thin people…” because that’s generally someone’s way of saying that fat issues aren’t important, but thin people’s are.
- Know that someone’s body size does NOT determine their character, success, intelligence, or lifestyles.
- Know that fat does not automatically mean unhealthy, but even if it did, it would not be your business to talk to that person about your health, unless they consented you to do so.
“Don’t call yourself fat unless you are fat.” seems like a hard one to just have without any explanation. I understand if it’s saying that those who know and feel they aren’t fat shouldn’t call themselves “fat” when they mean they’ve eaten too much or when are fishing for compliments. But, other than that, it’s kind of relative. Especially when you factor in people who have distorted self images. Someone may call themselves fat and genuinely believe it, but you may look at them and disagree.
Yeah, that bit does need a little more explanation, and I agree with your points.
Fat perception is often subjective and/or distorted.
For instance, I identify as fat because I have an abundance of it on my body, and to me, my body “feels” fat. But when I first discovered fat acceptance when I was a size 14, I was classified as an “inbetweenie” on Livejournal fat fashion communities.
I constantly toed the line between “kinda fat” and “kinda not fat” for pretty much my entire existence, until one day I decided I was just going to own up to the fact I was fucking fat and started calling myself fat. Also, as a current size 16/18, my body rolls are bountiful.
However, there are certain privileges that come with being my size and I fully acknowledge them. I am fat, but I am not deathfat. My body exists in that weird middle zone where people don’t like to admit I’m fat. I can sometimes find clothes at straight-sized stores. I may have gone through my share of fat bullying, but my deathfat lovelies have been through so much worse, and it breaks my heart.
I’m a 218 lb woman who wears a size 16. I love going to the gym, lifting weights, and I LOVE to dance. Vegetables in general are the food I most often consume. I have great sex with orgasms that last for days. I have amazing tits that feel spectacular in a bra, in the flesh, with a dick in between them, whatever. At one point in my adult life, I weighed 105 lbs, and it was by far the most UNHEALTHY I’ve ever been. I know not all stereotypes a true. And I DON’T hate my body. What I hate is how I’m told I SHOULD hate my body because of the number on the scale.
I love my body, and no matter how hard people try, nothing can change that. I’m healthy. Get over it, America.
——
Submitted by conspicuous-ac
This is absolutely fucking ridiculous. I am never setting foot in a Whole Foods again.
Their CEO has also publicly stated that people don’t need health insurance, they just need to “eat better.”
We don’t shop there either.
Totally. Whole Foods = Assholes
I do want to point out:
They are not basing it on “fatness” and “thinness” they are basing it on BMI which tells you BASICALLY FUCKING NOTHING about a person’s body.
These non-fat people would also be discriminated against with this program. http://www.flickr.com/photos/77367764@N00/1478705003/in/set-72157602199008819
http://www.flickr.com/photos/77367764@N00/1559599475/in/set-72157602199008819
You can be fat and have a low BMI. You can be thin and have a high BMI.
It is a sort of horrifying discriminatory practice but we need to be careful to not conflate BMI with Fat/Thin/health when it’s convenient for us.
“Note that Mackey knows BMI isn’t a perfect measure of health, but at least it’s cheap!”
WHAT WHAT WHAT.
I literally saw red for a moment.
Don’t get me wrong this is wrong, but it still bothers me when some people make it seem like it’s thin people’s fault for other people’s insecurity. People seem to forget that thin girls get picked on for being thin..because people think we think we’re better than them because we’re thin which isn’t true. It hurts just as much. Don’t tease someone for ANY type of body they have, if your insecure about your body that’s your issue stop tyring to make everyone feel as crappy as you do.
So much truth.
In todays society, people (both male and female) are coaxed into thinking a particular type of body is ‘better’ than the rest.
When I was in my early teens, I was completely fixated with my weight.
I also self harmed. At first, it was a rage release and I did it because I loved the way the scars looked. However, as I got older I started to do it more often based on how much ‘fatter’ I was than other girls. Truth was, I wasn’t, but that’s how I felt.
There was a period last year where I could not stand to look at my own body without breaking into hysterics. I would feel guilty if I ate and even felt ‘sexier’ if I hadn’t eaten in a day or two.
It was fucking ridiculous.The worst part is that I have good friends who suffered far, far, FAR more than I in this respect. Fading away gradually as a cause of warped perception.
They can’t stop themselves and all society seems to do is make crude jokes about anorexia, bulimia and other body-perception related disorders like it’s not really a ‘big deal’.Well guess what? It fucking well is.
Nobody should feel like they are worthless just because they are a stone or two heavier than their next door neighbour, or that women who works at the corner shop.It is our duty as fellow human beings to stop giving out these disgusting messages.
Personally (and thankfully) over the past few months, I’ve grown up immensly.
I’m no longer painfully insecure about how far my stomach sticks out, or how wobbly my arms are. I’m not scared to eat a 3 course meal and damned well enjoy it.
It took time and a lot of effort but now I’m like ‘You know what? Fuck your ideal weights. Fuck your imaciated corpse figures and your plus-size hatred’As long as somebody is happy with the way they look, it shouldn’t matter whether they are a size 4 or a size 24.
After all, isn’t the point in living to be happy and to spread that happiness to others? Screw what other people say about the way you look.
Everybody is beautiful in some way.