WHAT WE'RE ABOUT
We are constantly redefining our own perspectives, and therefore tend to write a lot about our personal experiences. Many followers and contributors are living with anorexia, bulimia, body dysmorphic disorder, depression, and a variety of other body image disorders or mental illnesses, so please be respectful and remember that health applies differently to everyone. Any and all potentially triggering content will be prefaced with a trigger warning.
RBI supports all races, genders, classes, and sizes. We try our best to make this a safe space for everyone. If we are not doing our job or checking our privilege, we invite you to please inform us.
Some of the artwork you see here has been created by our founder or moderators, some sourced when applicable. Please be kind enough to source this blog whenever you share it's content.
We are not health professionals. Any and all advice provided on this blog is supported only by our own research, studies, and personal experiences; nothing more.
This blog is part of the Safe Space Network.
I love when it gets warm outside because I can wear shorts and dresses and jiggle my thighs around, which is one of my favorite feelings.
I don’t know, I was curious.
If you’re ever feeling desperately low, like your brains could seep out of your ears from the pressure of your thoughts and you’re thoroughly sick of yourself, seek inspiration in the things you love. Avert your attention. Transform something in your appearance - anything - just to be able to look at yourself differently.
Get creative and imagine yourself as someone else, even if it means pain-stakingly painting your eyes with liquid liner whilst sitting cross-legged on your bed listening to Sonic Youth at 1 in the morning.
It helped me. Maybe it will help you.
- Examine the feeling of not being good enough and the reasons you struggle to love yourself and replace them with a sense of wonder and ease.
- Create a long list of all the things you do well and read it to yourself often.
- Say only nice things about your body and the amazing things it enables you to experience in your life.
- Lift your head up as you walk – and SMILE as you go!
- Listen to music with a positive message of life and love (try Blessed by Brett Dennen)
- Hire a photographer to take amazing photos of yourself to see your beauty as others see it.
- Make a list of all the things you’re grateful for about Who You Are.
- Every night before bed tell yourself and your body how much you appreciate it.
- Stand naked in front of the mirror and make peace with the physical body that houses Who You Really Are.
- List 7 reasons why your hardest challenges or worst mistakes or most unloved qualities have been a beautiful thing for you.
- Then ask yourself for forgiveness for not seeing it all earlier.
- Tell others what you love about you.
- STOP doing exercise that doesn’t make you smile or laugh! Go roller skating or dancing or trampolining instead!
- Chew your food slowly, savor each flavor and focus on the nourishment you’re offering yourself.
- Take everything out of your closet and only put back in the things that make you FEEL amazing when you wear them!
- Allow yourself time to “do nothing”.
- Give yourself time to understand that all these ways to love yourself need to be done with passion and authentic intention, and not just something you tick off a list.
- Stop making excuses for what you love and just LOVE IT OUT LOUD dammit!
- If you’re not feeling “good” when someone asks how you are, give yourself permission to be authentic and tell the truth (and maybe ask for some support).
- Spend lots of time in meditation or prayer or stillness.
- Light candles, put on sexy music and make love to your own body.
- Eat when you’re hungry. Rest when you’re tired. Tell the world your needs matter by making them a priority over the dishes or the laundry.
- Surround yourself with tribes of amazing women who will remind you of Who You Are when you forget about the ways to love yourself.
- Throw your head back and laugh out loud!
- Two words: Body. Paint. (Bonus points if you share the photos.)
- You know that one thing that looks so cool but you’ve been rattling off excuses why you can’t try it? Go do it.
- Join a daily or weekly self-portrait challenge and see yourself in a new light.
- Understand how it is you learned to not love yourself so you can break the habit for good.
- Give yourself permission to sob when your heart is hurting.
- Write down 5 ways to love yourself each morning before you even start your day.
- Celebrate your scars and stretch marks.
- Commit to only using positive words to describe yourself…instead of “I don’t know how” say “I’ve yet to learn that”. “I screwed that up” becomes “I learned some really good things here.” I’m serious, try it.
- Replace “have to” with “get to” and begin to see that life is always an opportunity for you to show off your prowess.
- Find the one hairstyle that allows your inner self to glow and rock it – no matter how wild it is!
- Create a list of people you deeply admire and why. Then remember that you can only admire in others what your heart calls it’s own Truth. Stand in that Truth and be what you admire.
- Stop calling yourself “lazy” or “stupid” and replace it with a compassionate description of Who You Are
- Buy or gather your favorite flowers, and write yourself a love note to go with it.
- Make yourself a yummy meal or take yourself out to dinner to eat in the peaceful company of YOU.
- Choose to be in a relationship with your life and experiences.
- Give love to others, not because of who they are, but because of Who You Are.
- Schedule your own spa day and pamper yourself. Include the kids! Or the partner! Or your best girlfriends!
- Learn to listen to and trust your intuition.
- Practice Nonviolent Communication with yourself.
- Go get a chair massage at the mall.
- Let your toes loose and go outside (or even to the store) barefoot and free.
- Replace one food that makes you feel bad with one yummy food that makes you feel great.
- Give yourself permission to say no to the things that make you unhappy and yes to the things you’d rather do instead.
- Share a photo of your imperfect booty with the world.
- Make one small space in your home a reflection of Who You Are – ditch what you don’t love or use often, paint the walls, bring in a comfy place to sit, light your candles, pile up your journal, books and art supplies, listen to inspiring music and dwell there often.
- Write yourself a love letter. And frame that bad boy. Look at it anytime you need to remember how beautiful you are.
I just wanted to share my story with you, in hopes that maybe it could be used to help someone else.
When I was 18 years old I was involved in a severe accident that I only made it out of by the grace of God. The accident left me scarred, both physically and mentally, and it also left me struggling to re-define myself and my place on the Earth. I live with a traumatic brain injury now but, with the help of my friends and family, I am able to live a fairly normal life.
I guess you’re wondering why I’m even telling you all of this? Well, I only just came across this blog a few days ago so I don’t know how familiar you are with TBIs but, people with TBIs often have to deal with bouts of depression, some worse than others, learning disabilities, and heightened paranoia, among other issues. The depression is the worst though. I used to be fairly active but now, sometimes it’s hard for me to even leave the house. This, of course, affects my weight negatively, but I am fighting back! Over the last few weeks I decided to stop letting my TBI symptoms hold me back. I found that if I make myself, absolutely push myself, then eventually my mood turns around. I am already making positive steps towards a healthier me and much brighter future!
I guess I just wanted to come on here and say “Thank you!” for offering a safe haven like this. I’ve been in that place where it feels like everyone has turned their back on you and just need somewhere to go and I love that I have finally found somewhere safe to just be.
(Oh, I am now 24 and I’ve been married for a little over 3 years to an amazing man! I did have to drop out of college because of my injuries, but I plan on going back very soon!)
The absolutely beautiful and fabulous Rachele from Near Sighted Owl has started something brilliant that I think everyone needs to know about.
Each week, I will be sharing a lesson that you can use to work towards loving your fat body, living a fierce life and feeling confident. This is a 52 week ECourse about fat acceptance, activism and fatshion. You can watch the vlog and read along and then you will be given an assignment and an opportunity to discuss it with me and other readers. You will also be prompted with some discussion questions. There will be room for all levels of body positive advocates to participate. This will be a chance to focus in on a specific aspect of fat acceptance and fatshion so that you can integrate it into your life and be a fat bitch too!
A fat bitch is confident, out-spoken and proud of who she is. The word bitch has been used by feminists as a way to reclaim an insult used to demean our cause. Let’s get started!
To learn more and register (for free!) click here!
First assignment?
Write down 5 things that you are going to do that make you happy. Not “even though you are fat” but because you are fat and awesome. 5 things that have nothing to do with trying for the sake of others. 5 things for yourself and your well being. Like “go out dancing and actually dance”, “throw away my scale”, “make something yummy and bring it to work to share”, “join a yoga class” and “wear that tight leopard skirt”.
Loving the HELL out of this already!
Despite the state of my skin and my inability to stop itching and picking at it, I’m feeling good tonight. Because I’m able to step back, recognize, and occupy my fingers with nail-painting instead.
just thought the story in this post (and the recipe, which like all of Peabody’s is a tasty thing :D) would really fit your awesome blog.
Peabody’s blog is a joy. She’s funny and the pictures are great. Reading her blog cheers me up a lot of the time when I need it. For anyone not a Peabody fan already, please go over to her blog. She’s a funny, positive lady who plays ice hockey and bakes delicious stuff.
Image is Powerful: Cameron Russell (by TEDxTalks)
This woman has been a model for 10 years, and she draws on that experience as she explores the consequences we face by idealizing beauty through the media. She acknowledges that in meeting this superficial standard of beauty (by winning a “genetic lottery”), she’s been granted unearned privilege in an appearance-obsessed culture that subsequently oppresses women the further they get from what we have defined as “beautiful”.
She encourages children to pursue a career path (!), and notes that the modeling world is where the most physically insecure people -including herself- can be found. These insecurities could not exist outside of a culture that constructs what beauty is and places so much emphasis on the it. Watch this. It’s honest, surprising, and refreshing. And if you know any young girls, I encourage you to send this video and/or this message their way. It could make a larger difference in their life than you may ever know!
I think this is a very powerful and illuminating point and I don’t just mean her words. I also mean that because she is thin, white, beautiful, and priviledged she is able to get up on this stage and make these points and be taken seriously. There are women and especially WOC who have made these same cases a thousand times are their voices go unheard because they aren’t a privileged model type. But I do very much appreciate Cameron for owning her privilege.
Secondly, this video should be shown to women and girls but this video should also be shown to everyone. The modeling industry is still a patriarchal free for all where much of the industry is controlled by men.
Just because you’ve lost/gained weight doesn’t make you any more/less valuable as a human being.
Recently I’ve been changing my habits to more healthy ones, because it’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time, but didn’t give it much thought. At first, I started a few months ago, telling myself that I wanted to lose a good deal of weight so I could fit into my old jeans again, and I didn’t see the point of buying new ones when I had perfectly good ones that were too tight for what I was then. Now I gladly fit into them, but I realized a few things along the way:
If you’re looking to lose weight, do not place your happiness on how many pounds you lose at a time.
I learned this the hard way. I assured myself I wouldn’t let myself crave weight loss, but once it started, I was filled with glee. Why? I don’t know. Probably because I was starting to fit into the stereotyped body image of “healthy”. I started to feel worthless when I didn’t lose anything after a week, which is silly now that I think about it.
If you’re “bigger”, you will likely not be taken as seriously when it comes to problems with not eating.
See, although in the back of my mind I knew this, I really didn’t. It wasn’t until I was talking to my friend about my placing my worth in the pounds I lost that it really sank in. I told him I felt worthless when I wasn’t losing weight fast enough. I told him I felt super happy when a pound did come off (I’m sure feeling happy is normal, but I depended on the weight loss for my happiness). I told him that I even considered not eating at times just because it might help me lose it faster. And he asked why that was such a bad thing. However, if I were much skinnier, he probably would’ve been concerned about my health. I thought that that was sick. I don’t really blame my friend, I blame society, and I hope that it changes because we’re changing it.
Don’t be afraid to admit your weight to people.
I know I’m not. I’m 5’8”, 19 years old, and 152 pounds. I am happy with myself, and I love my body. Share that you love yourself. Tell other people. Subtly mentioning your weight number can show that you’re not afraid of judgement, which’ll actually probably prevent nasty remarks from happening. The more insecure you appear, the more people will try to feed off of that insecurity. I’ve had quite a few guys go “Wow! You shared how much you weigh out loud. I’m impressed.” and give me a lovely smile of approval of my confidence, just because I was open about myself. Don’t get me wrong, don’t do it to get attention from people. It just feels good to be content with yourself enough to share it.
I could definitely write enough to fill a few pages, but I think I’ll stop here.
It’s okay to be at a larger weight. It’s okay to be at a smaller weight. All that really matters is how healthy you are and how happy you are with yourself, and either way, it’s really nobody else’s business.
SO STRUT YOUR STUFF IF YOU WANT TO, because it’s your body and nobody else’s.
My name is Shayna,
I’d like to share a story with you.
Through my whole life I have been told I was obese by doctors, my parents, friends, etc.
My family to this day still comment and choose what I eat when a family dinner rolls around.
I was placed in weight watchers at the age of 12 and was forced to continue until 15. I was never told that I was pretty by anyone but my mother. My whole life has been filled with personal trainers, fitting in to corsets, and constant struggles with eating disorders. It took me until the age of 20 to realize,
I am so much more than my weight,
I am a GO-GO dancer, I am a soldier, I AM beautiful.
Everyone of you, please remember that YOU are beautiful too!
