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We are constantly redefining our own perspectives, and therefore tend to write a lot about our personal experiences. Many followers and contributors are living with anorexia, bulimia, body dysmorphic disorder, depression, and a variety of other body image disorders or mental illnesses, so please be respectful and remember that health applies differently to everyone. Any and all potentially triggering content will be prefaced with a trigger warning.
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New York Times Declares Victory in Feminism’s War on Love and Romance
Grandma had me read this article about sex and dating relating to my age group. Some of it, I believe could be true, some of it is just appalling.
Why should men date? Why would they make any effort at all? The feminists turned all women into unpaid whores because it’s so, ya know, cool and liberating. Yeah, being a piece of meat is fabtastic.
I’m sorry. Because a woman has sex she is automatically a whore? What is free and liberating about a woman being able to have sex with who she wants, when, and where, is that men have been able to get away with it for hundreds of years-and women haven’t. I personally would not choose this as my life, but that doesn’t make women who do choose it-who want to be equal to men in this way-whores. Women turn into a piece of meat when they are not respected for being WOMEN, not by their actions.
Ask any young woman. What a horrible future the feminists have fixed for our girls. Could a concerted misogynist movement have done a better job of destroying the potential for happiness?Are you suggesting that a movement to increase the hatred for women would bring about more happiness than the freedom for a woman and her sex life? Maybe I’m misinformed, but I’m pretty sure that the feminist movement did a lot more for woman than just this one thing. Voting rights, ability to be on a jury, improved wages and working conditions, women’s health clinics, lobbied for legislation to ban sexism, racism, and discrimination, formed groups to support lesbian women, paid maternity leave and affordable child care, equal divorce, marital rape laws, sexual harassment laws, and much more.
This is how the phony feminist movement empowered women. More like enslaved women. Those men-hating parasites have ruined the glorious exaltation of women in 20th-century America. I know. I grew up in it.See above.
In those films (those created in the 30’s-60s), women were treated with respect and equality. We were then formidable, respected, treasured, and above all…revered. It was as good as it gets.
You’re right. Back when women could only work in a few fields at a few jobs, when it was acceptable for men to rape their wives, when women couldn’t get divorces, when women couldn’t vote, when women almost never went to college, when women were trapped into marriages they didn’t want to be in because they would be poor without their husbands, when sexual harassment was acceptable, and so many other terrible acts were acceptable, things were better.Back when women got married young so that they could have sex, back when women were just a piece of meat:
things were better.
One of the biggest struggles I have when talking about fat acceptance is our culture’s fear of the word “fat” and the connotations that come with it.
It doesn’t have to be feared or replaced with nicer-sounding words. It really doesn’t.
Stop spitting it as an insult or accepting it as negative and repurpose it for positivity. It’s just a descriptor, a noun, a way of identifying a body - not the person inside it.
Many people embrace the word “curvy” rather than “fat”, as “curves” are more palatable than “fat rolls” - but really, what’s the difference? It means the same thing, said in a different way, to avoid the bullshit that’s tied to the identification of fat bodies - the implied laziness, lack of motivation, unhealthy, ~OBESITY IS KILLING THE WORLD~ bullshit.
I am a size 16/18 fatty, though of course not fat enough to be deemed the biggest shit-stain on society - I’m just “thin” enough to be given the benefit of the doubt, capable of calling myself curvy rather than fat, but I choose not to. Because my corpulent bod is what it is and there is nothing wrong with it.
This isn’t to say I object to any and all use of the word “curvy” - I use it often, along with “fat”, because there are many different kinds of body sizes, shapes, preferences, and identities and it is good to be inclusive with body image related language.
I simply encourage smaller fats to keep in mind that larger fats don’t have the privilege of being able to lean on the word “curvy” to escape fat-negative language. They don’t exist in that gray area. We owe it to all fat bodies to examine why that gray area exists and challenge it.
Stop fearing the flesh. Fat ≠ Unhealthy, undesirable, unsexy, or unintelligent. All body types have the possibility of being these things and it’s outrageous to me that only fatness is tied to them. Reclaim it.
Redefining Body Image: This trend of people actively looking, judging, and making commentary…
This trend of people actively looking, judging, and making commentary on the eating and food-shopping habits of others is really fucking classist, healthist, and shaming - Not to mention, pretentious as fuck.
Food-shamers all up in my internets making me want to hurl my uber-processed fast food…
This post got me so mad that I had to blog about it. Food shaming someone while getting mad about people who food shame is pointless and ridiculous. Stereotyping vegans and, more so, making threats just because their food choices threaten or offend you is bullshit. There are lots of vegans into body acceptance and lots of non vegans who are food shamers- so stop putting them in the same fucking boat. You’re not helping the fat acceptance community by throwing hate around to people who eat differently than you do.
Vegan food choices do not threaten or offend me, in fact I eat vegan foods quite often, but there are plenty of vegans who DO food shame, and that post was inspired by the rage I felt toward those types of foodies who look down their nose at anyone who eats differently or “less healthy” than them.
When my own personal food choices and shopping habits are being used as a weapon against me and my fat body - I think you can understand why I feel that rage and why it is valid for me to resort to expressing that frustration. I realize I went about it in a less than PC way and will hold myself accountable for that - I often let my emotions get the best of me.
I am not the only person who has ever felt personally ostracized by some vegan communities and people judging my personal food choices. But at the same time, I realize now how my words can perpetuate stereotypes that can effect all vegans and I apologize.
These feelings do come from somewhere. There’s a reason I subconsciously chose to throw the word “vegan” in my rant, even if in retrospect I can recognize that it was wrong. I can’t speak to more on that yet. I’d love to know where I can find more resources about veganism and fat acceptance so that I might learn.
I now realize my ignorance about veganism and food cultures is apparent and I will refrain from going into those areas until I can better educate myself.
I should have chosen different words and I do apologize, but what can I say - such is the nature of the internet. The words are already out there, all I can do is try to right them.
This trend of people actively looking, judging, and making commentary on the eating and food-shopping habits of others is really fucking classist, healthist, and shaming - Not to mention, pretentious as fuck.
Food-shamers all up in my internets making me want to hurl my uber-processed fast food milkshake all up in their homemade vegan* organic-frosted faces. With a goddamn maraschino cherry infused with red dye #40 on top.
Get down off your fucking high horse and recognize that policing this shit is wrong. It perpetuates a culture of disordered eating habits and constant internalized shame wherein some people are actually terrified of grocery shopping and will avoid it for fear of being outright harassed about what’s in their cart.
Suspecting the sort of shit that goes through people’s minds is one thing…Knowing is an altogether different kind of vom-inducing story.
Keep your food-shaming thoughts to your fucking self.
* Check here and here for rationale on why I amended my rant.
I’ve seen some pretty problematic stuff floating around my dash lately concerning body acceptance and everything that goes along with it.
It’s okay to do what you feel is best for your body, whether that means sitting on the couch all day or running a marathon every six months. It isn’t my place to judge what you do with something that belongs to you and no one else.
It’s not okay to shame someone for a choice they make that involves their body. Okay? It’s really that simple. Like, unless you’re living in that body with them, it isn’t your concern.
People will raise questions about eating disorders and obesity and health, but again, unless it’s your body or you’re looking for help, it’s no one else’s business or right to shame you.
So you can eat well or well enough or you can eat like my brother does: five sodas a day, and nothing but carbs, because he’s a picky eater and most things offend him. You can go to the gym, you can walk to the get the mail, you can sit on your ass or whatever, because it’s what makes you comfortable.
I’m seriously so tired of seeing these remarks. I don’t personally think you can be body positive, while shaming the shit out of other people for their body choices. It doesn’t work that way. What it means, is that you’re willing to make another person feel bad, if it makes your body look better. And that’s the end of it.
Go ahead and keep telling me my body is wrong, because I know the fucking truth.
I am fat.
And I am healthy.
(And even if I weren’t, self hatred isn’t the answer.)
So, fuck you.
—-
(This message brought to you by the frustratingly hateful, fear-mongering bullshit stemming from conversations on the Weight of the Nation series.)
TW: Fat-shaming bullshittery.
It makes me want to work that much harder to give a voice to all of my faceless, oppressed, beautiful fellow fatties.
There is a head attached to that fabulous corpulent bod that you’re using to represent the enemy in the war on this so-called “obesity crisis”.
There is a goddamn story, experience, and life associated with that body - an identity that is being completely eliminated for the sake of dehumanizing our existence, to make it easier on everyone to oppress and shame our bodies, our lifestyle choices, our health.
It is fucking heart-wrenching and keeps my blood boiling at a constant, raging pace.
Ugh.
My thoughts on “flattering” clothing. Also posted on FAT AUS xx
This… THIIIIISSSS.
So…I’m confused. I see shaped brows, red lips, a full face of make up and a scoop neck top that accentuated the cleavage. The shot is framed so as not to show her belly, a shirt is covering her arms, and she’s saying “fuck flattering”? Um…
…flattering your body is when you falsely accentuate parts to make them look “better” than they are. So, why not let your eyebrows grow wild? Why draw attention to your eyes/lips with false color? Why not let your skin stand on it’s own- for better or worse?
What I’m saying is this: Not everyone has the same definition of “flattering”. I don’t wear make up for the most part, but I do wear spanx shapewear. Why is one automatically worse or less “flattering” than the other?
Can we maybe just stop knitpicking one another for who is the “most proud” of their natural body?
Oh My Fucking God. Are you serious? Because this one video and this one outfit and how my make up is on one particular day is all there is to me? There are literally hundreds of photos of me on the internet wearing all sorts of clothes, wearing no make up, wearing sleeveless tops and body con dresses and there are also lots of photos of me with a full face of make up and shapewear on. So what? The whole point I am making is that if I want to wear shapewear and smooth my stomach out I can but also if I choose to wear a tight skirt and not wear shapewear, I can do that too and neither look is “better” than the other, they are simply different and they both look great. How dare you make ridiculous assumptions about me based on one video and one image of me on one day.
Backing Bron up, not because she needs it she can certainly hold her own, but because the statement above hers is so ridiculous. THE WHOLE POINT behind ‘Fuck Flattering’ is being able to dress and look how you want and not being told you should look a certain way because that’s what has been deemed acceptable. Oh, you identify as female? YOU MUST BE AN HOURGLASS SHAPE AND NOTHING ELSE. Body autonomy! She is wearing what she’s wearing and has her makeup the way she does BECAUSE THAT’S HOW SHE CHOSE TO MAKE HERSELF LOOK THAT PARTICULAR DAY AND THAT’S HER FUCKING RIGHT. So what if she’s wearing makeup that YOU identify as classically female or conforming, it doesn’t mean that’s what she’s doing. She’s saying fuck looking how other people want you to and look how YOU want you to. There’s nothing contradictory here.
Slow. Clap. For. Lilabris!
“Fuck Flattering” doesn’t mean eschewing anything that isn’t “natural”, it’s about being free to wear whatever you like, however you like without having to present yourself a certain way to please others. It’s about rejecting the judgmental attitudes of other people on your body/appearance.