WHAT WE'RE ABOUT

RBI focuses on using expressive writing, design-oriented work, photography, media, research, and community input to fuel fat positive, body acceptance, discussion, and outreach. Our goal is to redefine the way we view and think about body image, size, fat, discrimination, health, fitness, wellness, mental/chronic illness, stigma, and other related topics.

We are constantly redefining our own perspectives, and therefore tend to write a lot about our personal experiences. Many followers and contributors are living with anorexia, bulimia, body dysmorphic disorder, depression, and a variety of other body image disorders or mental illnesses, so please be respectful and remember that health applies differently to everyone. Any and all potentially triggering content will be prefaced with a trigger warning.

RBI supports all races, genders, classes, and sizes. We try our best to make this a safe space for everyone. If we are not doing our job or checking our privilege, we invite you to please inform us.

Some of the artwork you see here has been created by our founder or moderators, some sourced when applicable. Please be kind enough to source this blog whenever you share it's content.

We are not health professionals. Any and all advice provided on this blog is supported only by our own research, studies, and personal experiences; nothing more.

This blog is part of the Safe Space Network.

I need help and ideas for a one month charity-focused sabbatical.

My place of employment is giving us an opportunity to propose what we would do with one full month (paid) devoted to participating in some sort of charitable initiative. 

How we spend our time and provide support is completely up to us.

But only one person will be picked, so whatever it is I propose, it’s gotta be a good one…

AND I WANT MY IDEA TO BE BODY POSITIVE OF COURSE.

Whatever this is, I could travel - but would likely prefer to stay in the Detroit region.

However I spend my time is completely up to me. However, I am completely at a loss as to where to start first. 

Drop me a line or answer here - any and all ideas are much appreciated as I begin to formulate my plan. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS.

  • What sorts of charities do you give to that have to do with body image, eating disorder awareness, disability, mental illness, etc..?
  • What sorts of things do you think would be really great for me to focus on in my approach?
  • Where is help needed? What can I do? Where can I go?
  • Are there any big events coming up or community outreach programs I should know about? 
  • Have you done charitable work like this in the past? Could you lend me some advice?

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t 2 months ago
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t 2 months ago
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What do you think?

RBI now has over 6,000 followers on Tumblr and brings in hundreds of hits a day. Time to get real, for real.

This place needs a facelift. I am going to be reorganizing and redesigning to make it easier to find resources and interact with others. Also thinking of integrating things like a Disqus commenting system, easier ways of sharing content on various social platforms with “share” “pin” and “tweet” buttons, so on and so forth.

Now is the time to give me your input as I go through the process of finding and altering a new theme.

What would make this space better?

t 6 months ago
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t 6 months ago
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Thin Privilege and Eating Disorders - I swear, they don’t coexist!!!

I’ve received the following Anonymous message, and many like it quite recently, and really hope to turn this into an opportunity to make my stance on this quite clear:

I feel like you should know that sometimes your blog is rather hurtful. You are a sweet person, but your blog does not encourage redefining body image for everyone. I started following your blog because I am recovering from anorexia and I struggle with my weight gain and accepting my body. Sometimes your blog veers into the territory of being discriminatory against people who are not “fat” and do not meet your own standards of beauty, which is what I thought you were fighting. I just felt you should know because a lot of your followers ARE people with eating disorders who might be hurt by some of your posts about privilege and thinness. When you have an eating disorder that is killing you, it is hurtful to hear that the thing killing you is a ‘privilege’. It negates the pain that we, as ED sufferers, might feel, and purely on the basis of appearances. I used to be fat before my anorexia, so I have seen the world from both extremes. Neither felt like a privilege and I actually felt better about myself as a fat person than a thin person. I just felt that I should inform you. People with eating disorders want to have self love and acceptance, too. Being thin is not a privilege but the consequence of an illness. I just did not expect a blog about body image to be so exclusive, when everyone with a shadow has a body.

First of all, I am sorry that you feel so betrayed and hurt. Your message has obviously been quite dictated by your personal feelings, which I very much acknowledge and appreciate, but what you fail to understand (as I imagine is hard to understand when your personal feelings take priority) is that discussions surrounding thin privilege are meant to showcase and focus on the effects of institutionalized fat oppression and discrimination and nothing else.

These topics don’t relate to you or your experiences with anorexia and are actually not even meant to be included in the discussion as you perceive them to be.

As you’ve stated, when a person is dealing with an eating disorder, “being thin is not a privilege but the consequence of an illness” - That is completely true, and completely why thin privilege and eating disorder discussions should not coexist. There are some instances of overlapping discussion, but I hope you get my point.

As I stated in a message yesterday, when “thin privilege” is referenced, we are discussing a social state of thinness, or bodies that are accepted as “not fat” [x] Eating disorders bring with them many factors that challenge this perception and therefore do not apply in the same way. 

So when we talk about thin privilege, we are not talking about it in relation to eating disorders at all. It’s simply not meant to be a part of the discussion. All we are really talking about or trying to create a level of understanding about is how fat phobia and discrimination works. “Its purpose is to point out that being thin (characterized as not fat) is the ‘lowest difficulty setting’ of body size” [x] when disabilities or mental disorders are not factored into the equation.

I have many followers with eating disorders who are capable of understanding thin privilege quite easily, and others who are offended by it. I’m not quite sure how to make myself more clear - maybe you all can help me figure that out. All I know is that I am doing the best I can.

I know it’s a lot to swallow and on many levels I’m finding it more difficult to maintain a general level of understanding because people tend to come at the discussion of thin privilege so personally – But I do think it’s a very important tool to utilize in discussions of understanding and battling fat oppression. So I hope that my followers will take the time to read through the thin privilege and eating disorder tags before drawing any conclusions or taking anything personally in the future.

t 8 months ago
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t 8 months ago
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I have been going to therapy to help cope with some intensities in my life that have been further amplified by the existence of mental illness, namely generalized anxiety disorder.

Many of my anxieties surround my relationship with my body and my health. More specifically, whenever I feel any sort of abnormal pain (especially stomach pain) I have a very hard time concentrating on anything else. I get trapped in a loop of negativity wherein I feel I have no control over my health and I can’t trust my body.

Trusting my fat body to exist without shame is hard enough as it is, but I can get there. Trusting it to let me know when there is honestly something wrong with it is something altogether different for me to grasp. It is a different kind of relationship - one that is internally linked, rather than externally. But it effects everything.

How does your mental health and your relationship with your physical health impact the way you trust and feel about your body?

t 9 months ago
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t 9 months ago
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Q: what got you started on realising how beautiful you were and helped you to gain confidence? I'm just curious as it took me years and it was mainly art that helped me realise everyone is a beauty, and that fact that I'm a little nuts now and throw caution to the wind... right through the closed window.

Asked myheartfeelslikeanalligator

I’m right there in the wind with you :)

Art has definitely played a leading role in helping me find beauty in all things, including myself.

I’ve always been the type who feels entirely too much. That is why I express as much as I do - I need to let it out and let it bounce around outside of my heart and my brain, otherwise it’s trapped and becomes intoxicating.

From an early age I embraced the internet and matrix of online communities within. I explored and learned and lived through the experiences of others. I found my niche in certain places and formed my own spaces. It’s been something that comes naturally to me.

As I grew older and began to pursue a degree in graphic design, I began to focus on cultural semiotics and the way signs, symbols, messages, image - everything around us that we soak up as a sponge - impacts us as a society. Visual culture is vast and human existence is impressionable. I started paying attention.

Almost simultaneously, I was introduced to body and fat acceptance through a friend. I was told, for the first time in my life, that it’s okay to be fat. That my body is okay. That there is a group of people out there refusing to be silent about this fact. That Health at Every Size exists and there is no reason to beat myself up anymore.

Once I comprehended this and opened myself up to the possibility of really owning and accepting my body as it was, my journey began, and it still continues. I have taken in and learned a lot, but I still have so much more to learn.

I don’t know the exact moment everything began to click. I know it was due to a culmination of all of the above, my creative and romantic nature, falling in love with the man I knew I would marry one day who helped me see the beauty in myself, coming into my own as a woman, the effortless love of family and friends in my life, and the online communities that have provided me with safety, comfort, education, and support.

I stopped blaming myself. I saw the flaws in the messages that are communicated about bodies and health and ideals and perfection in our culture. I decided I wanted to start changing and derailing these messages. So, I took on an independent study my senior year of art school and started this blog as a way to collect research and thoughts for an interactive installation.

Then somehow it morphed into what it is today and I cannot tell you how utterly proud and in awe I am of it all. Beauty is everywhere.

<3

t 9 months ago
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t 9 months ago
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1 k 28

I love this response, I need to try that stretch-mark coloring and highlighting technique. I have had the worst time accepting my stretch marks in the past but I am honestly embracing them for the first time ever and it’s liberating.

t 10 months ago
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I really need a legitimate safe space among my fellow people suffering from anxiety (GAD) and depression.

I’ve never been able to find one and I’m tired of putting it on my blog, I need some real interaction and experience-sharing right now. Being among people who truly understand would be helpful.

Can you help me?

t 11 months ago
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t 11 months ago
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I just spent the last hour taking photos of and studying my body parts.

I had an episode of X-Files playing because I love tuning in and out of it while I tap through the photos on my iPhone. I’ve captured my skin, my stretch marks, my body hair, my rolls, my shape, my everything. I study and delete them, study and delete them.

At one point I laid back, put my legs out, placed the camera on my chest and watched through the camera as my belly moved up and down for a large chunk of time.

Studying my own body has become a form of therapy and this is what self-care looks like for me right now:

A coconut lavender tea tree oil hair treatment soaking into my scalp along with the healing powers of Mulder and Scully - and discovering an appreciation for my body through a physical lens while simultaneously nibbling on a biscuit.

What does self-care look like for you?

t 11 months ago
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t 11 months ago
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Health, Fitness, and Self-Care

I received the following question from toboldlygothere:

I’ve been following your blog as part of a personal study because I hadn’t really developed my opinion yet on the whole “body image/fat shaming” subject. I think I have finally reached a conclusion and I wanted to get your opinion.

I think advocating any body type as superior to any other is the wrong approach. People should advocate healthy diets (diet meant as what one eats on a daily basis, not an altered eating habit) and an active lifestyle. Whatever body someone has after that should be regarded as healthy and wonderful. I also think that what someone finds physically attractive is unique and personal and no one should be criticized for having a preference for the big, the small, the tall, the short etc. It’s wrong to shame someone just because they find larger people attractive and it’s wrong to call someone an asshole just because they don’t find fat people attractive. 

That being said, I do think it’s very important to be healthy. This is an optimization of mental and physical health. If being perfectly physically fit causes you stress or anxiety, the balance is off. Likewise, being blissfully happy with your ass on the couch and your head stuck in a cookie dough tub (even if you’re skinny) is also a poor balance. The balance point is different for everyone, and I think everyone knows when it feels right.

First of all, thank you for following!

I agree that advocating one body type over another should never be encouraged. All bodies are good bodies! That is my favorite thing to say.

It is all well and good to encourage healthy and active lifestyles - but it is important to acknowledge that health and fitness do not have universal definitions. They apply to everyone differently, as people live different lives and experience different medical/mental conditions that make it hard for them to live up to certain universally accepted definitions of health/fitness.

It is also important to acknowledge that your personal level of health and experience with fitness should not be expected out of everyone. What works for you may not work for someone else. We should respect everyone’s ability to asses and define their own bodies, health, and levels of fitness. 

So yes, definitely - the balance is different for everyone and it’s up to you to know what feels right. Being “fit and healthy” is a great thing to aspire to, but the result and the path to being “fit and healthy” is not set in stone - it is super malleable. There are so many things to take into account.

It is also important to consider and question why we put so much emphasis on the moral value of being “healthy” - not everyone wants to be “healthy” in the same way that is societally accepted. Not everyone is capable of reaching that pristine level of health, and that doesn’t make them any less virtuous or worthy of love and respect than those who are capable of reaching those levels. 

(There is also a great post by a friend of mine that I reblogged ages ago and love to refer to whenever this topic comes up. Check it.)

For some people, mental health takes precedence over physical health. For some people, sitting on the couch with a tub of cookie dough is a form of self-care. Why should we deny anyone that happiness? At the end of the day, it is THEIR body and THEIR choice, and that needs to be respected.

Some people don’t get to choose. I didn’t get to choose the hand I was dealt. I don’t have the luxury of being able to work out every day, thanks to various mental/physical conditions that make it hard to be as active as I’d like to be. Instead of being hard on myself for not sticking to a work-out regime, I have to stay satisfied with the level of activity I can handle, and trust that I am doing the best I can in the body I have. That’s all anyone can do.

t 11 months ago
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t 11 months ago
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Redefining Body Image: Can I just say I'm thoroughly done with "diet" talk? ;

fatfashion:

redefiningbodyimage:

Usually I’m quite lucky in that the people I surround myself with on a daily basis generally don’t focus on making their diet and body size a matter of everyday conversation.

Still, I find myself regularly engaged in some sort of conversation based around another person’s weight-loss goals, some…

I’d say, you have to deal with it in the same way you’d deal with any problem in a relationship.  You state your piece and ask that they respect that and if they refuse, then you set boundaries.  When it comes to friends and family, it’s almost like I am coming out of the closet as fat and body positive.  I tell them that I am in a place where I am learning to really love myself, and that it’s important for my mental health that I continue.  As a part of that I can not listen or partake in their body/diet talk.  I then explain that their commentary may cause me to regress and I can not partake.  Then if they continue, you shut it down or remove yourself from the situation.  It’s been particularly hard for me, when talking to my brother.  When we speak on the phone, if I mention I’m eating or drinking something, he immediately starts with the “You shouldn’t be having that.”  And I immediately tell him “I don’t give a fuck and I told you to stop saying that shit, just because you are unhappy with your body and are trying to lose weight does NOT mean that I am.”  I explain what I need and if I don’t get it, I shut it down.  It’s so ingrained in our lives, to want to be thinner, to diet, to shame ourselves and others.  It takes a lot to make people stop bringing it up.  For that friend that posts diet talk constantly, just remove her updates from your feed…she will never know…

All truth. What really gets me is that most of the people in my life KNOW how I feel, are aware of my stance on body image, weight and dieting…Hell, most of them have seen this blog as well as a number of my body positive projects. However, still they either choose to ignore it or evidently don’t care enough to educate themselves. 

t 1 year ago
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t 1 year ago
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Can I just say I’m thoroughly done with “diet” talk?

Usually I’m quite lucky in that the people I surround myself with on a daily basis generally don’t focus on making their diet and body size a matter of everyday conversation.

Still, I find myself regularly engaged in some sort of conversation based around another person’s weight-loss goals, some back-assed way of fishing for compliments or the usual “you’re not fat!” reassurance.

In the past I would indulge said people for fear of falling into some long-winded discussion that endlessly travels in circles until I’m left feeling helpless and actually less confident in loving my own body.

I’ve decided I’m simply not going to allow that to happen any longer.

The problem is, I’m not quite sure how to keep it from happening. Triggering weight-loss and negative body image commentary saturates EVERYTHING.

How do you ignore a thin-privileged friend bombarding your Facebook wall with diet products and weight loss videos on a weekly basis without letting it stand in the way of your friendship? How do you respond to someone you work with everyday who constantly discusses their diet and weight loss goals? How do you tell someone you love who constantly makes “have you lost weight?” comments no matter how many times you assure them you could give two fucks whether you gain or lose 20 pounds?

I’ve tried everything from retorting to such conversation with fat and body-positive commentary (which usually either shuts them up or starts them toward a conversation about fat AND health), not responding at all, or saying just enough to satisfy until the subject is dropped (which usually leaves me feeling worse).

What is your method of action? How can we tackle this shit in everyday conversation? 

t 1 year ago
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t 1 year ago
w 38 notes
^