WHAT WE'RE ABOUT
We are constantly redefining our own perspectives, and therefore tend to write a lot about our personal experiences. Many followers and contributors are living with anorexia, bulimia, body dysmorphic disorder, depression, and a variety of other body image disorders or mental illnesses, so please be respectful and remember that health applies differently to everyone. Any and all potentially triggering content will be prefaced with a trigger warning.
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[Image: Typographic message depicted in pastel purple and peach: “I am forever working against a culture of shame.”]
It’s been a while. Here’s a thing I made for you!
The latter is a reaction to the cost of the former.
Any so called “segregation” between fat and slim happened when folks decided people could be re-classed as disease and when fat people accepted that as valid.
Unwittingly, because that was the only right thing fat people could do. The emphasis was on owning up. On seeking to recover one’s honour by making amends according to instructions given by professionals and those around us.
The distance started from there. You have to distance yourself from fat people’s humanity for the idea of them as disease to bypass its implausibility. And the upshot of fat people’s focus on making good the error of fatness was to create distance from our own selves.
Overheard getting coffee this morning: “I’m not saying I’m fat, I’m just curvy.”
Bitch, AIN’T NOTHING WRONG WITH FAT OKAY.
For one thing, the idea that there is only one right way of doing English – and everyone else is doing it wrong – is inherently flawed. And by “flawed” I mean illogical, elitist and even oppressive. Judgements about what counts as “right”, “good” and “correct” in writing and grammar always – ALWAYS – align with characteristics of the dialects spoken by privileged, mostly wealthy, mostly white people. We make these judgements based on learned biases, as well as a certain emotional attachment to our own way of doing things. But when people study dialects in an objective, scientific way (which is what cunning linguists actually do), they find that low-prestige dialects, such as African-American Vernacular English or Cockney English, have fully-formed grammar rules of their own that make just as much sense as any others. They are perfectly valid and functional forms of communication used by millions of people. The only difference is that they don’t have people running around telling everyone else to do it their way.
Asked Anonymous
I prefer “fat” - but not everyone is capable of using the word properly, nor is everyone aware that it can be used in a positive or neutral way, as it has long been repurposed as an insult and a stand-in for so much negativity.
“Overweight” implies that there is a certain ideal weight that a person has surpassed, making their weight out to be less than satisfactory.
“Fluffy” and other such terms sugarcoat fatness in a way that I despise.
“People of size” is a good one.
Fat, big, thick…Descriptors that indicate size and shape more than anything else are the best kind. I would include “curvy” in that list, but it is often used across the spectrum of body sizes and is not always fat-specific.
Honestly, I really do encourage that more people use the word “fat” in a positive context, when the situation calls for it.
My father recently read an article I wrote that used the word “fat” extensively and said, “Why do you have to use that word?”
Because it is a good word. It doesn’t have to mean anything other than what it describes - a person of size. And when I use it as a fat person, I aim to reclaim it.
I hope one day people of all sizes will be capable of using it without the usual vitriol behind it.
It takes but a second to replace women’s health with sexual or reproductive health. It’s really that easy… and then you aren’t erasing our trans sisters.
Yes, yes, yes.
One of the biggest struggles I have when talking about fat acceptance is our culture’s fear of the word “fat” and the connotations that come with it.
It doesn’t have to be feared or replaced with nicer-sounding words. It really doesn’t.
Stop spitting it as an insult or accepting it as negative and repurpose it for positivity. It’s just a descriptor, a noun, a way of identifying a body - not the person inside it.
Many people embrace the word “curvy” rather than “fat”, as “curves” are more palatable than “fat rolls” - but really, what’s the difference? It means the same thing, said in a different way, to avoid the bullshit that’s tied to the identification of fat bodies - the implied laziness, lack of motivation, unhealthy, ~OBESITY IS KILLING THE WORLD~ bullshit.
I am a size 16/18 fatty, though of course not fat enough to be deemed the biggest shit-stain on society - I’m just “thin” enough to be given the benefit of the doubt, capable of calling myself curvy rather than fat, but I choose not to. Because my corpulent bod is what it is and there is nothing wrong with it.
This isn’t to say I object to any and all use of the word “curvy” - I use it often, along with “fat”, because there are many different kinds of body sizes, shapes, preferences, and identities and it is good to be inclusive with body image related language.
I simply encourage smaller fats to keep in mind that larger fats don’t have the privilege of being able to lean on the word “curvy” to escape fat-negative language. They don’t exist in that gray area. We owe it to all fat bodies to examine why that gray area exists and challenge it.
Stop fearing the flesh. Fat ≠ Unhealthy, undesirable, unsexy, or unintelligent. All body types have the possibility of being these things and it’s outrageous to me that only fatness is tied to them. Reclaim it.
Text: “Over what weight? It’s not polite. It’s stigmatizing. Use ‘fat’ instead.”
…or maybe check to make sure you use the term the person prefers?
I know a kid who uses “person of size” and thought I object to it on the basis of it being essentially a hijacking of the “POC” term it’s a good example of different people favoring different labels.
“Person of size” is much different than saying “overweight.” It’s much closer to saying fat. “Overweight” has an inherent judgment, a suggestion that a fat person is wrong-bodied.
There are plenty of ways of describing a fat body without using a stigmatizing term like “overweight.” Again, an individual can call themselves whatever they like, but I don’t have to use that word even in reference to them, and I don’t have to be okay with their use of that word given its inherent negative judgment of fat bodies.
- vile
- illogical
- irrational
- misleading
- dishonest
- nonsense/nonsensical
- asshat
- assclown
- prickly pear
- asstrumpet
- buttnugget
- asshole
- shithead
- dustbunny
- unsubstantive
- irrelevant
- mistaken
- naive
- confused
- misled
- uninformed
- ignorant
- ignoramus
- absurd
- half-assed
- ridiculous
- ludicrous
Anonymous asked redefiningbodyimage:
I am often guilty of misusing the “I feel fat” moniker that we’ve been taught to use. But sometimes, I am simply describing myself as fat (because I am and it’s an accurate description). I once had a friend reply, “…but you’re nice.” It’s probably the funniest thing that’s ever happened to me, but I think it shows and underlines how uncomfortable almost everyone feels with the idea of fat as a descriptor rather than a definer.
Well, when you describe yourself as fat, that’s much different than describing how you feel. “I’m fat” = “My body is fat.” This is fact and description. “I feel fat” = “I feel all of these things that are associated with the word fat, which are more often than not horrible things.” It’s making “fat” a catch-all word that could mean so many things.
“I feel fat and FABULOUS”, however, would be a method of turning it around so that it’s less about implying one thing about the word and more about being obvious about it by tying it to a positive adjective. Although I really still just take issue with using the word “fat” in correlation with how I feel anyway, for personal reasons.
I would rather say “I am fat and I feel fabulous” or “I am fat and I feel horrible” because it is the most accurate. It separates one from the other. You can still express emotions about your fat body without saying “I feel fat.” I hope I’m making sense.
Your example about someone basically mistaking “fat” to mean “not nice” is indeed ridiculous, but interesting. The ways words work is always the most fascinating and frustrating thing in the world to me. Seriously! Also, tone is important.
A friend once asked to look at my work badge with a photo of my face on it. I had the photo taken really early in the morning and I was exceptionally puffy-eyed and weird looking and sometimes feel weird about it. I’m trying my best to accept and embrace my awkward fat face as it appears in different forms and angles in photographs, my body as well. But I still ended up saying something like “my face looks exceptionally fat” in a tone that was less than enthusiastic, like a reflex. I mean of course it looks fat, it is fat! It is what it is! That dismissive tone is just so natural sometimes because it’s like I’ve been programmed to respond in that way.
That was a few months ago and I’ve already made some huge strides, I feel, in distinguishing some important feelings about my body.
I’ve concluded that it just makes more sense to me to look at “fat” as a part of me, a naturally occurring thing, and try to separate it from my neuroses and emotions.
The other weekend I spent time with some of my oldest and dearest friends who I love like my own family and will always love. We were all caught in some strange awkward moment wherein the smiles on our faces obviously display our discontent for being captured.
That’s me in the center. My usual impulse to excuse my red skin, thick arms, double chin, red face, messy unwashed hair and awkward smile still exists. But really the main thing in the forefront of my mind is that when I look at this picture I just think “I love that we are all beautiful weirdos” - because we are. This is just me and two of my best girls in our environment. I would rather focus on that than anything else.
I used to dive out of photos to avoid being captured and I fully regret that now. In most photos from high school that my friends and I used to take, I can look at one, point off into the void where there is no more photo and say “I was over there!”
No more hiding and no more editing, my body and face and appearance are what they are, so best to specify. I am fat. I am awkward. This is how I look.
And right now, I feel pretty good about all of that.
:x
Went on a bit of a tangent, but thank you so much for contributing. As soon as I read your message I thought “I’m about to talk all over the shop” - you got my brain buzzin! <3
