I read a quote at some point, that said that fat girls who love themselves scare the shit out of people who don’t. I think that is very true. My friends say I am surprisingly “self pleased” (English language lacks a word here! This was the best translation I could come up with), because, surprise surprise, I don’t hate myself. I love me! I am awesome! In fact, I think all people are awesome. I could easily see plenty of reasons why they are beautiful, amazing people! I love life and the people in it.
I think I’ve almost always had a very positive look on life: as a young teen, many teachers and family members would say independently of each other that I “rest within myself”: I don’t struggle with myself, never really have. Sure, there are plenty of things that are changing all the time within me, but it doesn’t drain me of my love of life.
I think part of the reason I am so positive, is that I don’t let myself miss out. I am fat, so? Doesn’t mean I can’t flirt with attractive men at parties. Doesn’t mean I can’t dance like crazy at the club. Doesn’t mean that I can’t sunbathe at the public beach.
At graduation, as pictured above (hence the hats) there are two traditions that I know a lot of people were surpised a fat girl like me participated in. Heck, I was even a bit surprised! One is pictured above: All 450ish graduates go to this fountain and dance around it, in it, on top of it. To get to the top is a bit of a climb, and I therefore settled for dancing on one of the lower levels, simply because I didn’t think I would be able to pull my fat body up there. But then my friends, who are used to me never missing out, used to that I am always center when we have a silly fun time, they thought that of course I should be up at the highest level of the fountain, and helped me up there. Of course I shouldn’t miss out!
The support of my friends, meant that I had no doubts when it came to the second tradition: Skinny dipping in the harbour. And I can add, I live in a harbour city, meaning the harbour is in the middle of town. And it was daytime. But, off with the dress, and in we went, no second thoughts! And again, people who knew we weren’t surprised, and people who didn’t (or even those who do, but continue to see me as a “selfhating fat girl”, because surely, that is what all fat girls ought to be like?), could hardly believe their eyes. “Was that a naked fat girl, joining in with her longtime friends in a tradition that has nothing to do with size or shape of bodies?”
Yesterday, some old friends invited me to a beach party. I remembered that they had also invited me 3 years ago, and I had said no, because I didn’t want them to see me in a bathing suit. I was taken aback, I could hardly recongize that person! And I even know I was still a happy-go-lucky person then, even though I was still unsure of my body. So if I can go from feeling good, to feeling awesome in 3 years, what might the future hold? I can only look forward to it (:
So that was my little tale, of how I feel about myself and the world ;)
Denmark, size can be anywhere from EU size 44 to 54.