WHAT WE'RE ABOUT
We are constantly redefining our own perspectives, and therefore tend to write a lot about our personal experiences. Many followers and contributors are living with anorexia, bulimia, body dysmorphic disorder, depression, and a variety of other body image disorders or mental illnesses, so please be respectful and remember that health applies differently to everyone. Any and all potentially triggering content will be prefaced with a trigger warning.
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overly confident fat girls are extremely annoying
It’s a good thing I’m not here for your acceptance or approval.
This is poetry.
But how often do people actually listen?
I have very little confidence that these sorts of people will ever be able to comprehend how their ways of thinking are far more unhealthy than the perceived “ill-health” of fat bodies.
I suppose I’m feeling particularly pessimistic today.
We are all aware that middle school is not the most enlightened place and is, generally, not a safe space for anyone who’s remotely different. In a phrase: middle school fucking blows.
When I was in middle school, there were these two boys who gave Disney channel bully-villains a run for their money. Well, like, more than just these two boys, but they were the most relentless about it (loosening screws in the chair I’d sit in, following me around and mocking me, shoving me, whatever). And their FAVORITE THING was to call me a hippo (ORIGINAL, RITE?)
However. Being a Ravenclaw to my very bones and a fan of National Geographic from an early age, I was skeptical of the usefulness of calling someone a “hippo” as an insult. I had a vague awareness somewhere in the back of my skull that hippos were, actually, unimaginably badass. So I did some research on hippos.
COOL SHIT ABOUT HIPPOS I LEARNED IN SIXTH GRADE AND SUBSEQUENTLY TERRIFIED SOME BULLIES WITH:
- Hippos are more closely related to whales than to pigs. Whales, mind you, are awesome. Sperm whales are the only natural predators of giant squid. Orcas learned how to kill great whites. Whales run shit in the ocean. (If someone ever calls you a whale, look them coolly in the eye and tell them these things, then thank them for the compliment and walk away).
- The earliest recognizable hippo fossil is 16 million years old. This is not so much terrifying as it is fucking awesome.
- They can weigh up to 8,000lbs and can run faster than people (up to 19mph). And do, while mowing them down, because hippos are the most dangerous animal in Africa, more feared than lions, Cape Buffalo, hyenas, or crocodiles. They regularly attack boats for no reason except that they really, really don’t like people.
- Because they’re fucking terrifying and can kill pretty much anything, adult hippos have no natural predators (other than humans, whom I think we can all agree are idiots).
- Hippos do, however, regularly kill crocodiles. Like. All the time. For no reason except that a crocodile looked at them funny.
- However! Hippos don’t kill each other. Bull hippos will often stop fighting as soon as it becomes clear which is stronger than the other, and cow hippos only fight to defend their calfs, and will quit once the threat’s been run off. Hippos therefore have more solidarity than people do.
- Hippos mark their territory by crapping and windmilling their tails around to spread the crap over a large radius.
Also? Underneath that armor-thick skin and all dat flesh, hippos look like the lovechild of Satan and Cthulhu.
Basically, my fat brethren? Being called a hippo is soooooooo not an insult, even if it’s meant to be. Just imagine siccing an actual hippo on the bully of your choice, and move on with your day.
[TW: Eating Disorders]
Confession: I used to think the ‘I survived anorexia’ t-shirts for fat people were funny.
Before and After: Why Weight-loss Commercials are Dangerous and How Fat Acceptance Saved My Life
By Caitlin
Well before the ball dropped in New York City to mark the beginning of 2013, diet and…
shared via WordPress.com
I LOVE this piece!! An excerpt:
Weight-loss companies also sell the dream of the “after,” which leads to a subsequent repudiation of the “before.” There is always a better, thinner version of ourselves just waiting to be released and until we find that svelte self hidden inside, we (the fat people) deserve to be hated by the general public, humiliated on shows likeThe Biggest Loser, and wrongfully blamed for every conceivable modern problem, from global warming to the rise in health care costs. What no one talks about are the real life-and-death consequences of the oppression against fat people, how we often receive substandard health care or no health care at all, how we are paid less than our thinner co-workers, how we are devastated by the unrelenting and violent message that we should not even exist.
Weight loss commercials are powerful purveyors of fat-hatred because they construct the popular image of the fat body. These media representations reinforce the view that the fat body is “other,” that it is defective, abnormal, and abject. Without hatred of the fat body, diet companies cannot profit or recruit new members. Without the condemnation of fatness, there can be no consecration of thinness; they are interdependent and one cannot exist without the other. If fatness is not repulsive or gross or indicative of moral failing then thinness, likewise, cannot become a symbol for discipline, self-control, and virtue. The “before” must be vilified, the fat body must be condemned.
Weight-loss commercials are a ubiquitous and accepted part of our society. We expect them but at this point, after being exposed to fat acceptance and body positivity, it is impossible for me to tolerate them. I cannot watch Marie Osmond enthusiastically endorse Nutrisystem or Sharon Osbourne drone on about the Atkins diet or any other celebrity sell me the dream life of thinness. When these women agree to do these commercials, they are knowingly participating in fat oppression. What’s worse, they are profiting from a system that relentlessly shames and degrades fat women’s bodies. Instead of seeing all their new-found privileges after weight-loss as an indication that something is deeply wrong with our culture and its obsession with thinness, instead of speaking out against fat hatred and body policing, they film their commercials, collect their checks, and maintain the status quo.
“Without hatred of the fat body, diet companies cannot profit or recruit new members.”
Combating fat hate every single day brings us that much closer to dismantling diet culture.
I’m not naive enough to think we can actually ever bring it down…but I have hope that we can make a discernible impact.
I’ve said it plenty, and I’m perfectly happy fat. I actually think I’m sexier fat, though most people would wildly disagree. I love my body, in spite of everything that’s wrong with it.
Still, I have a history of seriously disordered eating. My weight has been used as a weapon against me by my abusers for roughly the last twenty years. There were times when I’ve weigh myself twenty times a day, analyzing fluctuations to the tenth of a pound, and drawing my sense of self-worth from those numbers. Since becoming fat, and accepting my fatness, I’ve avoided scales entirely. I turn my back when I’m weighed, and tell the doctors and nurses very specifically that I don’t want to know my weight, that it’s triggering and dangerous for me.
So, naturally, today I got handed a piece of paper today at the doc’s with my weight, BMI, and weight class, circled, in bold print. I…was not pleased.
I think I’m handling it pretty well, but it’s still a blow to all the fat-positivity I’ve been embracing these last several months. And yeah, I know BMI is medically unsound bullshit, and I even already knew that by those debunked, useless standards, I was probably considered obese. But it still upset me to see it in print, not so much because it’s a reality, but because I’m furious that I’m being judged like this. My fat ass has nothing to do with what I’m suffering; I was suffering this shit when I was skinny, too. So it’s got no damn reason to be there, it’s just fucking judging me. And I’m so tired of judgment.
I just wanted to say that I completely and utterly relate to everything you’re experiencing. I actually make it a point to look away from the scale when I’m weighed at the doctor and they thankfully don’t read it out loud, but the temptation to look and to know is so overwhelming. The last time I weighed myself, it’s like all the things I learned about BMI and my own personal health left my head to be replaced by my former self…The self that obsessed, hated, and punished without care.
Others will impose judgement, but hold onto that strength you have in yourself to know better. You are not punishing yourself anymore and that in itself is monumental to good health, especially when thinness or striving for thinness is so detrimental to it. Stay tuff <3
Lesley Kinzel (via curvesahead)
I will always reblog this because it is so so important.
(via infinitetransit)
I just want to nail this to every stable surface I can find. I cannot count the amount of times that I’ve seen fat folks being encouraged, cajoled, and even forced into behaviors that would be recognized as disordered eating/exercising patterns in thin folks.
Pretty much everything that’s done on shows like The Biggest Loser would be called out as pro-ana/pro-orthorexia in a thin person. Exercising past the point that it hurts, to the point where you’re throwing up, even injuring yourself? Berating yourself because you didn’t lose ENOUGH weight this week? Constantly talking about how fat is weakness and thinness will make everything better, about how you can’t stand to be your current weight anymore? Emphasis on weight as a sign of how much control, strength, and worth you have? Viewing food as bad, as a temptation to sin? Constant sharing and talking about tips on how to minimize food intake, how to lose weight?
That sounds exactly like every pro-ana/pro-mia blog I’ve ever seen. It’s also what fat people are told we need to be doing to ourselves until we’re thin.
(via madamethursday)
hey if your fat positivity doesn’t extend to people over size x or over x weight, go the fuck away and go the fuck to bed because i am so fucking angry at you and hurt by you
i know that’s like 95% of ~fat positivity~ people but hey just get out
YEAH GO TO BED
fat positivity for all fat bodies. all all all. goddamnit.
I should go to bed.
I was applying for financial aid in my first year of college last year when I got a call saying I was a finalist and would very likely get it because of my grades and community service but they needed a face-to-face interview.
So I went shopping for something professional and “smart” looking to wear to the interview and I spent the day preparing for any answers thy might have had. I was as ready as anyone could have possibly been when I showed up at the financial aid offices.
The first thing the interviewer said was “that’s a very nice outfit you have there…what size is it?” That sort of threw me a little so I responded that I didn’t know because it was in European sizes and I wasn’t sure how to convert it. Even further to my surprise, she offered to look it up online if I could give her the size. I managed to steer the conversation away from this unprecedented (and frankly uncomfortable) topic and back to my application.
She pulled up my credentials on her computer and said “oh, actually, it says here that the department already decided to give it to you. We just wanted to see you in person.” I thought this was weird but I assumed it was just normal procedure. She didn’t seem to have anything else to add so I was just thanking her and getting my purse when she said “you know, the thing about these scholarships is that they come from outside sponsors and even though we’re the ones who decide whom to give them to, the sponsors usually like to meet the recipients in person.” I respond that I would love to meet the sponsors and that they won’t be disappointed. She says “yes, yes. Well, the thing is that you have to portray a certain…image, you understand? They need to see that you’re hardworking and dedicated and can accomplish anything.” I jokingly say “well, hopefully my resume reflects that, right? Because it’s too late to change that now.” She smiles condescendingly and tells me that perhaps there is something I can change with dedication. She asks if I’m aware the school has a gym. Not sure where she’s taking the conversation, I respond that I am and I’ve been there once or twice and it’s very lovely. She says well perhaps I could make time to go there more often because she would like to point me out at the sponsors dinner and say that I’m a person that is dedicated not only in my work but “look at her, she’s so skinny now! That’s dedication!”
At this point, I want nothing more than the flip her the bird and storm out of there, but I need the financial aid. So I spin her a line about how I’ll certainly think about it, but it might be hard if I’m studying so hard and working on my school work and extra-curricular activities in order to maintain my place in such a fine establishment. And then I make a hasty exit.
At the time, I thought that perhaps she was only looking out for my best interests, but then I met my scholarship sponsor (before the dinner and purely by accident) and we got along excellently and she commended me on my grades and so on. She never once mentioned my body or looked at me in any way implying she felt sorry or repulsed by my appearance.
And then I realized that I had almost lost the scholarship even with all the time I had put into becoming a model student, for the sole reason that I wasn’t skinny and the financial aid interviewer couldn’t deal with that. The sponsor certainly didn’t care what I looked like; it all came down to that awful small-minded, mean-spirited woman.
God, I can NOT contain my rage right now. If that had happened to me, I surely would have completely lost my shit and the scholarship along with it for punching that bitch out. What the ever loving fucking fuckkkkkk
I absolutely love you all and have no problem with you identifying as fat (as you are fat and it’s hella awesome) but please, for the love of all that is holy, stop acting as if your size 12/14/16 body has the same mental, physical, spatial, and societal issues as my size 32 does. You don’t understand. And it’s fine that you don’t understand! It doesn’t make you a bad person! As long as you treat me with respect and dignity and get that this world is fucked up in varying ways, I still think you’re awesome!
You not being able to understand or feel what it’s like to live in a 300/400/500 pound body doesn’t reflect on you as a person. But you not taking into consideration that someone in a 300/400/500 pound body has different issues and difficulties than you…well that kinda does make you a bad person. Because you’re not stepping outside of yourself long enough to examine how different degrees of otherness exist and work.
We’re all fighting our own battles. And while our battles are both on the field of Living as Fat…you have more ammunition than I do. In this society, in this world, you have advantages that I don’t. Your degree of fatness is more accepted by society than mine is. And, again, I stress that it doesn’t make you a bad person or a fatphobic person or a bad fatty. It just means you have privileges that I don’t.
You’re more likely to receive a job and make more money. You’re more likely to be treated well by doctors. You’re more likely to fit into desks and be able to squeeze through tight spaces. It’s easier for you to find clothes that you can fit into, like, and afford. You’re more likely to be able to adopt children and less likely to have your food choices watched and judged. You’re less likely to be insulted, mocked, harassed, or attacked. Hell, you’re even more likely to be taken seriously when you talk about fat/body acceptance!
I love you. And the privileges you have are based on nothing that you’ve done or gained intentionally. It’s just the way the cards were dealt. Again, your privilege doesn’t make you a bad person. But if you read these words and your response is to tell me how NONONOIHAVEITBADTOOLETMETELLYOUHOW… Well. Then you might consider rereading this and thinking about what you need to do differently in order to further the cause of acceptance and the ending of oppression.
Your privilege doesn’t make you a bad person. Refusing to acknowledge it does.
ETA: I’m sorry but I have to add this.
A 200 pound person is treated differently than a 500 pound person. It honestly never occurred to me that that would be argued. If a 300 pound weight difference didn’t impact how someone was treated? Fatphobia wouldn’t even exist, now would it?
The way society treats and judges and shits on 200 pound people is bullshit. If you’re towards the smaller side of fat, your struggles are real and they suck and they need to stop! And I will yell and scream for your right to own and control your body and to be treated with dignity and respect with my dying breath. But our struggles in this world are different. And acknowledging that doesn’t diminish your pain or your feelings. It just fucking validates mine.
Really important to keep in mind.
I have always tried my best to check my privilege as a fatty on the “smaller” side. I acknowledge that I am treated differently.
I was talking to one of my new roommates the other day about how my mom nags me about my weight…and Kristin (roommate) looked at me for a second and said “but…you’re not even fat”.
Personally, I identify as fat because a) by looks, I’m definitely not skinny b) I’ve been to the doctor and been told in different terms that I’m fat [they use that whole “BMI” bullshit, but this is what they really mean] and c) I identify with issues expressed by other fat people rather than issues expressed by smaller people who have had a history of negative body image.
It’s just interesting because we were talking about what qualifies as fat, because I was ranting and raving about how I always want to see fat girls in music videos more than anything. And it’s not necessarily like okay, get on a scale. How much do you weigh? Oh no, you’re not fat. I just mean people who get that label of “plus size”, “curvy”, “overweight”, people that have to wrestle with that….
I don’t know, sometimes I find it hard to articulate the way I feel about fatness as an identity rather than a physical state. I think people often think that when I talk about fat that means we can also talk about health. Actually no. When we’re talking about health, we can talk about health. But I’m talking about the way your body is, looks, the way it is perceived in the context of society, other people. When I talk about health, it’s personal because people can treat their body however they want, you know… Like that book Skinny Bitch, as much as I love it…should have been called Healthy Bitch or something.
Distinction. On Dr. Oz (who I used to love, but now can’t stand) and shit like that, they make that mistake of always juxtaposing fat and health. They are related in some ways, but not enough that health only means combatting fat. How about you start talking to all those skinny women in your audience about what the fuck they’re eating, Dr. Oz? Just cause they’re slim doesn’t mean they’re safe and I’m tired of that perception because it makes fat people feel like they’re the only ones who need to worry ever.
The other week when I was in Ohio and we were leaving, my uncle - my favorite uncle, dammit - leaned and whispered in my ear “I need you to watch your sugar intake, okay?” I didn’t even respond I was so shocked and hurt and fucking pissed. Let’s think about that whole vacation. Seriously, the only thing I ate that was “sugary” (as in, something that people naturally think of as having sugar, not like hidden sugars) was half a can of Sprite. I almost never drink sodas these days, mind you, but it was offered to me and I was on vacation so it’s like what the fuck ever, sure. Well obviously that was the wrong decision to make because oh yeah, I’m not a fucking twig therefore I have a problem that I need to constantly keep watch on and punish myself for. Let’s look around the room okay, the room in Ohio. Every single person there ate like 2 slices of ice cream cake, a billion ribs with tons of barbecue sauce, my little cousins were drinking soda the majority of the time, etc etc etc. There’s more I’m sure, but I wasn’t sitting around policing every one else’s food intake like they obviously were mine. My sister is PREGNANT and people rarely mentioned anything about her nutrition.
But me.
Me.
I need a fucking intervention? I need someone to ruin my good time and pull me aside to talk about my motherfucking sugar intake? Also, my other uncle kept mentioning that I need to watch my carbs because I’m vegan or whatever. Which was only slightly less annoying because yes, that is how some people eat. Take out the animal products, insert the bread. That’s how I eat sometimes. But I didn’t see why he had to mention it every meal.
I say this all the time, but I really have ZERO tolerance for this shit anymore. BACK. OFF. This obsession with health is just a subtle way of controlling people’s bodies, of making them feel like shit so they’ll buy your products. If it wasn’t for feminism and fat positivity and tumblr and everything…I don’t think I’d necessarily be depressed all the time or anything, but I’d be going through that cycle of feeling bad about myself then trying to rectify it through exercise and “diet” and then failing and feeling bad about myself and eating my woes away then feeling guilty and going back to the gym blah blah blah. At this rate, I’m not losing any fucking weight which I’m FINE with. Some days I eat just like bananas and walnuts and baked squash or something. Some days I eat oatmeal cookies and PB&J and well…more oatmeal cookies.
I truly deep in heart feel that losing weight is something that should not rule someone’s life, unless the weight itself is ruling their life. Even then, it seems like it makes more sense to take it from a mental perspective than a purely physical one. How am I eating, what am I eating, how is it making me feel, why do I eat it? THOSE are the questions you should ask yourself, if food is really the problem. And in fact, it usually isn’t. In my personal experience, my relationship with food is dictated by my relationship with myself and my surroundings. When that relationship is unhealthy, I binge and eat junk food to the point where I practically feel sick. When I’m feeling good about myself and my situation or when I’m being productive, I generally eat real food…and even when I don’t, even when I have one of those days when I’m just snacking the whole time, it’s not compulsive and obsessive and damaging.
I just want to blot out all this shit, all these attacks. I haven’t gone to the gym since I’ve been back at school since I haven’t had my ID but I’m really super okay with that because right now’s the time when everyone’s fucking there because they feel like they have to be, they feel like they need to prove something. I have nothing to prove. I used to think I did. I used to want to make people realize that I was healthy despite my size, that I liked working out, that I’m an active functioning member of society. Fuck all that. I’ll be over here watching Buffy, drinking tea, with my feet up thank you very much.
Reblogging because I totally identify with a lot of this.