WHAT WE'RE ABOUT

RBI focuses on using expressive writing, design-oriented work, photography, media, research, and community input to fuel fat positive, body acceptance, discussion, and outreach. Our goal is to redefine the way we view and think about body image, size, fat, discrimination, health, fitness, wellness, mental/chronic illness, stigma, and other related topics.

We are constantly redefining our own perspectives, and therefore tend to write a lot about our personal experiences. Many followers and contributors are living with anorexia, bulimia, body dysmorphic disorder, depression, and a variety of other body image disorders or mental illnesses, so please be respectful and remember that health applies differently to everyone. Any and all potentially triggering content will be prefaced with a trigger warning.

RBI supports all races, genders, classes, and sizes. We try our best to make this a safe space for everyone. If we are not doing our job or checking our privilege, we invite you to please inform us.

Some of the artwork you see here has been created by our founder or moderators, some sourced when applicable. Please be kind enough to source this blog whenever you share it's content.

We are not health professionals. Any and all advice provided on this blog is supported only by our own research, studies, and personal experiences; nothing more.

This blog is part of the Safe Space Network.
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Sorry it took so long but here is a rebloggable for the Jillian Michaels question.

tw: mentions weight loss

pr3ttypoison:

redefiningbodyimage:

There was a period of time when I, like many other millennial tweens, liberally applied roll-on body glitter to every conceivable inch of my body. My junior high school actually had a rule against wearing it in the computer labs, as the glitter would fall from our skin to clog up and damage the…

It’s almost as if I wrote this. I went through these EXACT same phases, but my ending is different, or rather, I’m not certain I’ve even experienced my ending. I’ve had self-esteem problems forever, but I’ve always been told I was beautiful by a lot of different people, so I never knew quite how to think and act, but I knew I had something special… until middle school. I hated middle school. I was taunted and teased; I even got into some physical altercations due to my weight, and now looking back at it, it was also jealousy of other girls. Either way, I covered up & draped myself in black and band t-shirts. I eventually sheered my hair off and started growing dreadlocks in rebellion of the “popular” image. That did help me differentiate myself from those other people who wanted me to be like them, but it wasn’t until I met one boy midway through high school who would change me forever, that I really realized what kind of effect I had on boys. He told me I was beautiful (before I wore makeup) and I actually believed him. He gave me butterflies and loved me for who I was, every single voluptuous, thick inch of me.

Now that he’s gone and I’m in college, I’m not really sure where I am in my self-image. I’ve gone through many images and I enjoyed them all, they were all me, at least who I was at the time. But with my age and stage in life, I’ve adopted long skirts, blouses, and heels. I feel comfortable in my skin most of the time. There are many girls with my body type, but they interpret it differently than I do; dressing it in tight, colorful leggings, shirts from Abercrombie and Hollister that are about 4 sizes too small, and god-awful jeans that create a “muffin top”. That look just isn’t for me, not even on the weekends.

Being myself has always been this internal struggle between wanting to fit in and wanting to stand out. I don’t starve for attention no matter what I do, but I do wonder sometimes if I’ve lost myself in an effort to find myself.

I spent the better part of this year trying to rid my body of some of it’s excess fat, unsuccessfully, I sit only 10 pounds from where I started this January. I’m sort of given up, but I don’t exactly love myself as much as I would love to, and I thought this would be a panacea for all that ailed me. I guess since I didn’t complete my goal, not even my 1st one, I can’t say whether it would have been or not, but I’m not so sure just being smaller would help me.

My journey, I guess, will end when I have found something within myself to feel comfortable and at home with the body I’ve been blessed with, not when the long list of things I can list that are wrong with it are fixed, but when I can observe all those things, and not mind. I’m not there yet, but I will be soon.

There is no ending to self acceptance - it is an ever-evolving, ever-present thing. Sometimes our own pressure to love ourselves *completely* is what ends up fucking us over. At least, that’s the way I see it.

So instead, I strive for self-contentment and bodily ambivalence, the ability to think critically, and in those natural moments of reflection or sudden appreciation - I find love. And I let those little moments be enough and work as hard as I can not to be hard on myself, which is a pretty fucking goddamn difficult thing to do, especially if you’re me.

So, I understand where you’re at right now. But you’re thinking about it and reflecting on it and that is what is so important. Facing this shit is not easy, it is a process, and I firmly believe in the power of interaction and language driving it along.

Your commentary regarding “unflattering” fashion on fat bodies is a bit worrying. I don’t think you intend to, but you’re kind of body shaming others when you imply there is a right and wrong way to dress. We should not deny anyone the right to wear what makes them feel good, regardless of what our personal fashion preferences are. [Edited to add: I’ve totally done this before, so you’re totally not alone. It’s okay to admit you’re kind of being a dick when you judge other people for what they wear - I mean it’s just a hop, skip and away from judging their body, and aren’t we trying to stop that?]

Part of learning to be a more visible fatty and embracing my own personal style has revolved around embracing my visible belly outline and side profile. Wearing clothes that accentuate my fat rolls rather than smooth them. It is the most empowering thing to wear a bomb-ass dress without a corset or shaper underneath. I’ve had to fight through the discomfort of letting my rolls show, but it has ultimately been worth it as I come to the realization that I am much happier being able to breathe and move than enhancing some kind of illusion of thinness.

That is just my experience, and something to chew on. :3

<3<3

TW: Medical fat shaming, fitspo, and mental health discussion.

So, after a year of being in denial about my mental health, I went to see my psychiatrist and my therapist yesterday.

I saw them separately, first my psychiatrist and then my therapist.

It was interesting to compare the two sessions - the medical versus mental approaches.

When my psychiatrist asked me about my weight, I knew the conversation would take a nosedive. From that point forward, half of what he told me and/or scolded me about was weight-related.

“You know, your BMI is worrying.”

“You know, you could lose the weight if you tried.”

“You know, just be more active.”

I shrugged the comments off and said simply, “I don’t mind my weight, it’s a non-issue. My concern is with being healthy and feeling better.”

He looked at me like what I was saying was some alien concept and continued to press his body shaming diagnosis. 

“You should see your family doctor and rule out any weight-related issues.”

I was about to tell him I’d had everything checked out recently and happened to be quite healthy, but he ushered me out the door.

Fast forward to the conversation I had with my therapist wherein she asks me what the doctor had discussed with me. I told her about the weight comments and she actually laughed and sighed with exasperation.

She said, “I want you to disregard everything he told you. It’s not the right way to think about your health. You need to do what’s best for you, and what’s best for you is not focusing on weight loss - it’s focusing on your health. They aren’t one in the same.”

This was nothing I hadn’t heard before obviously, but coming from her, in that moment, after what I had just experienced with the MD - the words carried more weight than ever before. We continued to have a very empowering conversation about health and activity that made me feel better than I had in ages.

I was shocked that body shaming of any kind would be brought into the conversation by my psychiatrist, a professional whose goal is to support and diagnose mental illnesses. If I had been in a more damaged frame of mind, his comments might have made me second guess everything about myself and my body. It may have triggered me into regressing back to hating my body and blaming myself. I fear for his patients who may not have found body acceptance.

This is why focusing on weight loss as a goal for a fatty with anxiety and depression is impractical, for ME. I need to remove weight loss from the picture entirely and focus just on what feels right. I can not afford for my body ideal to be grounded in physicality. Instead, it’s grounded in mental health and wellness because that is what I need to concentrate on in order to find happiness and contentment.

I’ve received a lot of messages regarding my fitspo-related content wherein commenters fail to empathize with my inability to focus on weight loss. Instead they turn it around to make it all about them, blaming me for “shaming people who are trying to shape their bodies to match their ideal self-image”, when that is simply untrue.

Contrary to what people may have taken away from my previous post, I have not and will never judge anyone for wanting to change their appearance. Wanting to change your body does not mean that you hate it - but not wanting to change it doesn’t mean that you hate it, either.

If others can find happiness in their journey to attaining an ideal self image, I am not about to shame them for their privilege of being able to do so  - but that privilege needs to be recognized.

All I want is to incite a level of understanding from the fitspo community that while their methods may be right for them, it is not a universally healthy way of thinking for everyone. Because health is different for everyone. Because attaining a “fit and lean” body type is a privilege that should not and can not be expected of everyone. 

Sometimes I wonder if being this honest about my physical and mental health in such a public space is worth it. There were a few times this week where I considered putting this blog on hiatus for a while.

But when I get messages from people recovering from eating disorders and struggling with mental disabilities or body dismorphia telling me how much my words mean to them, how much they can relate and are touched by what I am saying, I am reminded why this is all worth it.

I’ll continue to keep my heart on my sleeve and my thoughts in the open.

red3blog:

Earlier this month, Disney announced a collaboration between Blue Cross Blue Shield Florida to bring their considerable experience and expertise in marketing to children to the health insurance industry’s long-standing commitment to blaming fat people for their health problems. These titans of industry will pool their talents to give fat shaming of children a brand-new re-branding. Oh, that’s not what they announced, of course, but it is what they are doing.

Newly unveiled at Walt Disney World’s Epcot Center is Habit Heroes, an exhibit and online game designed to combat “bad habits” by personifying those habits and then stigmatizing those personifications. I’m guessing you are already ahead of me. 25 Pixar-inspired characters make up the “Bad Habit Gallery”, a collection of low-ambition super villains content to use their powers to model socially unwelcome behavior. I’m not going to really get into the advisability of the project. This sort of negative reinforcement feels misguided in general, but especially when the negative reinforcement involves creating cool characters of the things you are supposed to be stigmatizing. (See Hungry) Never mind the broad condemnations of things like being in a bad mood are just setting kids up to fail. Everyone gets in bad moods or doesn’t get enough sleep enough some of the time. Especially counterproductive is shaming kids for lacking self-esteem. You’re going to make kids feel bad about themselves because they feel bad about themselves? Way to go, Disney. So, there is a lot to complain about, but as you probably deduced, what really concerns me are the fat shaming characters in the “Bad Habit Gallery”.

And yes, characters. As I noted, the residents of the “Bad Habit Gallery” are all personifications of “bad” things. One is a personification of bullying (so, he’s a bully), one is a personification of listening to music too loudly (a guy with headphones; they really didn’t try very hard), one is a personification of sharing your personal information online (find out more when you register with http://www.habitheroes.com!). There is even a personification of eating spoiled and moldy food, which I must admit, I was not aware was so pervasive a problem.

Going through the gallery, some big fat bodies stand out and naturally the endeavor wants you to connect fat bodies with the kind of flaws fat people are normally accused of. The Glutton is a fat hot dog salesman who can’t stop eating his own product and wears a donut as a pocket square(!). I mean, I know they are characitures, but how is it that even sensible on their terms? Wouldn’t he just eat the donut instead of using it a bit of accoutrement? Next, we have Lead Bottom, the resident couch potato looking like one of the humans from Wall-E in a wrestling outfit. His bio tells us that he failed to pursue his dreams of dance because he was too fat and fell into wrestling instead. Its almost ironic given that fat people can totally dance and that these days, professional wrestling is actually pretty hostile towards fat bodies. His bio also contains the memorable line “blubbery loves company” which I so want on a t-shirt. Finally, we have our female fatty, Snacker. She washed out from the Tooth Fairy Academy and slathers all her food in butter. Would you believe me if I said her voice in the video game was more than a little reminiscent of Paula Deen? Her super power is summoning fatty food with her magic wand, which sounds kinda awesome to me. She’s also a good example of why these slick character designs are counterproductive because I think Snacker looks totally bad-ass, like some awesome femme fairy godmother.

I’m having a little fun with all of this, but that’s because I can. I’m an adult and I’m encountering all of this with cool detachment. That doesn’t mean the influence on children isn’t insidious. These three characters are carefully designed to get children to associate fat bodies with the negative behaviors our culture associates with fat bodies. Its like a “My First Fat Shaming”. The game pretty explicitly tells children to see fat bodies and think they are slothful beasts cramming themselves full of fattening treats. All of these bad habits that we know our culture links to fatness, the game does, too. This isn’t about the bad habits at all. Its training children to adopt the socially dictated bigotries around fatness.

Don’t think the creators didn’t know what they were doing, either. Indeed, its clear from the site’s video game that they created another character to shield them from criticism for making all of the anti-fat “Bad Habits” big fat fatties. They already had Snacker designed to personify eating junk food. She was even designed like a sugar plum fairy of sorts. But she doesn’t eat sweats. Oh, no. They have another character for that, Sweet Tooth. She’s thin and everything. Well, “shapely” is how they describe her. See, they pointed out that she’s not fat. Immediately after doing so, they scold her for not being fat, too, teaching kids to rely on the visual evidence of evil fat bodies even if some evil people have disguised themselves as “shapely” while really they have high blood sugar. (Yep, diabetes shaming, too!) For gosh sakes, she’s got the name Sweet Tooth instead of Snacker who’s bio identifies her as a FAILED TOOTH FAIRY? How clearer can it be that this character is just an afterthought to provide some deniability for their fat shaming? Well, as I mentioned, the game makes it completely unavoidable.  While all the other bad habits are encountered on their own, Sweet Tooth and Snacker are just doubled up and do the same thing. (You douse them with vegetable juice while they pelt you with donuts and cakes)

It doesn’t stop there, though. Three other characters are fat in ways that specifically exploit prejudices about fat people. Stress Case is a fat opera singer. Well, former opera singer. Stress caused her to blow out her voice and destroy her career. Sounds tragic, but remember the point is how inexcusable it is to be stressed. The real take-away, though, is that she was too busy being stressed that she doesn’t bother to exercise. While dressed up to be about stress, its actually just another lesson about fat people being lazy. What else do fat people do? They stink! Stinkbomb is the personification of bad hygiene. If you guessed that he’s also fat, congratulations. Get Sweet Tooth to launch a cookie at you. I guess we should be relieved that he doesn’t explicitly connect being fat to smelling bad. I’m pretty sure kids already “know” that, though, so they’ll put two and two together. Finally, we have The Prescriptor, the personification of not doing what your doctor tells you. Hmm. Like lose weight? Again, they don’t specifically connect is fatness to his fault, but its not hard to make the connection given existing social beliefs that people are fat because they are ignoring all the people telling them not to be. In a lot of ways, the construct of The Prescriptor is how a lot of trolls view fat acceptance. Just a bunch of ignorant people ignoring their doctor’s orders. The fact that those orders can’t really be fulfilled is meaningless.

Although the website features 25 bad habits, what I’ve found of the actual exhibit makes me wonder if most of the non-fat shaming ones were just filler. This site includes the preview posters for the exhibit which pretty much exclusively focus on fat shaming. The only habit we haven’t already talked about is the one representing TV/internet/video game addiction although the poster renders him as a pudgy sprite instead of the robotic overload the site features. Spoiler alert? I wasn’t able to finish the game due to site errors, but it wouldn’t surprise me if the reveal on the interactive entertainment boogeyman was that he was just a squat guy. This review of the now open exhibit reinforces the point. No sign of the website’s peer pressure or teethcare villains. It seems to just be the ones about eating and laziness. A point also made by the exhibit’s focus on a gym as the hero’s base. This was in the game, too, but was a minor point there. In the exhibit, its clearly a focal point.

Perhaps the most dangerous part of the program is how it teaches kids to shame their peers. All of the bad habits are defined as having a “master plan” to subject everyone to their socially stigmatized trait. While the video game that accompanies the site has you winning over the bad habits (though much that involves making mean-spirited remarks to them which seem an awful lot like the bullying that is supposed to be a bad habit), the wording on the bios just makes it out like these people are obsessed with ruining everyone around them. Got a fat friend? They want to make you fat like them so they won’t feel so bad! No, really, that’s what the site tells you. At best, its teaching kids to constantly pressure their friends about their supposed faults. At worst, its telling you stay away from them at all costs. Or maybe best and worst and mixed up there. Its kind of hard to differentiate between two awful outcomes intended to stigmatize kids for not meeting certain standards. Either by constant pressure or by ostracizing them.

Simply put, kids don’t need this message. They already know to shame kids for not fitting in, and that is a problem. Programs like this just teach those kids they are right to do that. No fat child needs a video game to belittle them for supposedly being lazy or gluttonous. Fat children already hear that all of the time. It has nothing to do with what bad habits they may or may not have, either. The implicit connection “Habit Heroes” draws between fat characters and fat lifestyles will empower the continued abuse of fat children, both externally and internally. They’ll keep being taught to feel constant anxiety about their eating and activity level. They’ll keep trying to do “the right thing” only to find it doesn’t make them thin, teaching them that moderation is worthless and encouraging dangerous activities. It will keep teaching fat children that they aren’t right and teaching other children the same thing. Society was doing just fine on that without Disney’s metaphorical weight behind it. This is the last thing the world needed.

Habit heroes represents some of the worst of our society. It relies on cheap and easy prejudice, pandering to cultural bigotries surrounding weight and morality. It bullies the disenfranchised for the benefit of the status quo. They rely on the widespread of acceptance of fat shaming and fat stigmatization to put forward a message that will be poisonous to fat children. Fat shaming needs no more corporate partners or endorsements. Fat children are constantly being told to feel awful about their bodies. Given that no safe, reliable means of weight loss exists, even for the children, this is a prescription not for good habits, but for self-hatred. Worse than that, its an endorsement of others hating fat people.

For information about contacting Walt Disney World and Epcot, please visit their site or find them on Twitter @WaltDisneyWorld. Contact information for Florida Blue can be found here or on Twitter @FLBlueCenter.

OMFG so much rage right now. I need to come back to this later. Ughhhh.

The Stress Case character deeply fucking pisses me off to an astounding degree, especially as someone suffering from anxiety disorders who deals with those types of stresses on a daily basis because it’s not a fucking bad habit but a part of my body’s chemistry that I can’t simply avoid. Yes, let’s shame people for experiencing stress in their lives, that makes all the fucking sense.

WHAT THE EVER-LOVING FUCK.

^