Why do I feel this sudden urge to try a fucking ‘cleanse’? Why does it sound so appealing to me when I know it will make me insane?
Like, I have owned the fact that I am not a normal person. I can barely feed myself properly day to day without making it more difficult than it needs to be. I can’t afford the expense of a ‘cleanse’ (literally and metaphorically) nor do I think it would even really benefit me in any way at all. I can rationally acknowledge this, at least.
But I see cleanses EVERYWHERE, SO OFTEN - all these thin, glowy-looking, able-bodied, mentally-sound motherfuckers keep preaching on about HOW AMAZING THEY ARE where ever I look. And because my feeds are so inundated, I think the bullshit has finally seeped into my brain.
I’ve got people in my life who dedicate hours and hours of their day to cooking, packing perfect little lunches in bento boxes, going on and on about “natural” and “non-processed” and “organic” everything under the sun.
It must be so simple, right? To do all the right things, eat such virtuously “healthy” foods and nothing else, spending weeks drinking designated shakes and foods to “remove the toxins” in our bodies.
If it’s so easy, then why does even the thought of pursuing it break me?
Will I ever be able to eat something without feeling guilt or shame?
Must our diets be so tied to our morality and sense of worth?
Must it really be so fucking complex?