What about how other peoples’ status and definitions of health are none of your business? How a person’s health does not at all correlate with their worth as a human being? How a person’s fatness, no matter how that person lives, does not negate their right to basic human kindness? Aren’t these things more important? Why AREN’T they more important?
And once you determine all of this arbitrary shit about these fat people you don’t know, bodies and experiences you will never understand, and ultimately define this invisible line between “good fatties” and “bad fatties” - then what? Should those “bad fatties” in the deathfat (“morbidly obese”) range be shamed for their bodies when we don’t know each person’s individual struggle or journey? If you perceive them to be “mistreating” their own bodies, just what exactly do you plan to do about it?
Because honestly, anything you think you might be able to do to help is going to produce the exact opposite of what you may be intending. That kind of “concern” isn’t needed and in fact is more detrimental to a person’s health and wellness than many fail to realize.
Not to mention, there are a SHIT ton of resources on this blog regarding fat health and debunking obesity myths. Take a look around, click through the tags, do some reading.
There is more to health than weight. Weight is not often the cause of health issues, but a factor or result of chronic illnesses or conditions that are not in a person’s control. Not to mention, 46% of obese people are metabolically healthy. They are FAT and HEALTHY.
I actually can’t count myself as a part of that statistic. My mental and chronic illnesses make it very hard for me to try to live up to society’s expectations of perfect health. So instead, I’ve defined health for myself - and fuck anyone for looking upon my fatness and thinking I’m “mistreating” my own body when, to put it bluntly, THEY DON’T KNOW A GODDAMN THING.
I’ve tried to put all of this in the most honest terms I can, but I’m sure you can feel my tone. There is rage, yes. Frustration, definitely - but it comes from explaining this shit over and over again. From the constant struggle for self-worth that comes with living in a fat body and dealing with health conditions. It is exhausting to constantly be fighting against the world, but it is possible to change, and I hope you will be compelled to.
You need to want to put in some actual time to research and let this information soak in. You need to want to think differently. You need to stop assuming that your definition of health and the definition that is touted in our society is anything but fucked and not at ALL inclusive.
I sincerely wish more people would care and look into these things for themselves rather than taking everyday media and shaming messaging regarding fat bodies at face-value. Please make an effort.
For my fatty friends:
I’m fine with fat acceptance as long as it doesn’t affect your health.
The instant your weight starts being an issue to your overall well-being, I will get in your face and tell you to work on it. I will support you however I can, but you have to KNOW that even if you’re “fine” with being obese and how it’ll probably take ten, twenty years off your life, THAT I AM NOT.
You are my FRIEND, and friends do not let other friends KILL THEMSELVES.
I’m fine with your re-embodiment, acknowledgement of your own sentience, history and sense of your own humanity. But the instant that starts to conflict with my low opinion of you, based on a formula conflation of your size with a doom and destruction.
I will make the most of your loving investment in me to make myself an odious pest to you-issuing endless threats of your impending death.
Just when you need me the most.
To remind you that, “Yes, those years you’ve spent almost permanently on a diet, or trying desperately to be, did happen and yes you are still slim. Don’t just go back to that because its easier, we both know that has lead you to where you are now…..”
“For goodness sake, isn’t it time to start shutting the hate down? What do you have to put yourself through to stop following their orders and start to get back in touch with who you are and what you really need? Don’t wait for them, they won’t stop. You have to.”
“I want to see you take real care of yourself from now on. Restore your mental equilibrium, so that you can think with a clear head about what you really need to do for yourself……”
Nah, instead I will ruthlessly press upon the bond that we’ve built to make you feel like I must be on your side, even though I am making you feel like shit. And I will even insist I’m doing it as a favour to you.
That’s what friends do, honest!
Yes, because YOU know the health of your fat friends better than they know their own, right? How kind of you to presume. What a kind and considerate person you are to be so concerned. </sarcasm>
The moment any of my friends try to dictate anything about my life, I begin to question why they are a part of my life in the first place. If I don’t have a good answer, I have no problem cutting them away. People who think this way and refuse to acknowledge why it’s completely and utterly fucked have no business knowing the pleasure of my friendship.
My real friends let the people they care about live however the fuck they please, because they know other people’s habits and ways of living are none of their fucking business. They don’t judge and discriminate. They know my health doesn’t equate to my worth. They know that my fat body is not proof of anything. They know better.
Wise the fuck up.
LOL JUST KIDDING NO I’M NOT SORRY
I would also like to reiterate this point and add to it that I fully recognize the rights of oppressed parties to fucking rage WHENEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT TO.
A few days ago I contributed to a discussion about misgendering. I included a story about almost slipping up and misgendering a trans* friend of mine and detailed my thought processes that were involved.
This morning I woke up to a raging message in my ask box regarding that post.
I had overstepped a line and contributed to a discussion that I wasn’t welcome to contribute to - for that I heartily apologize. I have removed the offending post from my blog and have learned why it is wrong to contribute to a discussion that is not meant for me and my cis-privilege.
I also fully acknowledge that the person who sent me that raging bitch message has EVERY FUCKING RIGHT IN THE WORLD TO BE ANGRY. And I thank them for setting me fucking straight.
When people get angry, it’s for a goddamn good reason. And the world gives us plenty of reasons to get angry, so best get fucking used to it.
LOL JUST KIDDING NO I’M NOT SORRY