WHAT WE'RE ABOUT
We are constantly redefining our own perspectives, and therefore tend to write a lot about our personal experiences. Many followers and contributors are living with anorexia, bulimia, body dysmorphic disorder, depression, and a variety of other body image disorders or mental illnesses, so please be respectful and remember that health applies differently to everyone. Any and all potentially triggering content will be prefaced with a trigger warning.
RBI supports all races, genders, classes, and sizes. We try our best to make this a safe space for everyone. If we are not doing our job or checking our privilege, we invite you to please inform us.
Some of the artwork you see here has been created by our founder or moderators, some sourced when applicable. Please be kind enough to source this blog whenever you share it's content.
We are not health professionals. Any and all advice provided on this blog is supported only by our own research, studies, and personal experiences; nothing more.
This blog is part of the Safe Space Network.
Asked Anonymous
Do you think it’s possible to determine health by looking at a person?
Because it’s not.
At all.
So stop.
Please fuck off with the healthist concern trolling. We withhold the right to own our health, no matter its state, because health is defined differently for everyone and does not determine our worth.
You can be fat and healthy, actually.
But the most important part is: Not your body? Not your business. Shame doesn’t help anyone. Stigma doesn’t help anyone. Vague future health threats don’t help anyone.
But if the only places that you hear that fat is always unhealthy are from mass media, which helps the diet industry make $40 BILLION (or more) profit per year, or from the medical community which is more interested in making money off prescribing pills and bariatric surgery, you might want to consider that you’ve been fooled. Also keep in mind that the government and medical community immediately throws out/stops funding any studies that prove that fat is not unhealthy.
This is not the place to be asking such questions. This blog is not about health. This blog is about self esteem. This blog promotes POSITIVE self-esteem regardless of weight, health, or any other physical factors. We’re not here to argue about it.
The best part about that question was that the person who answered said: You may feel fine, and your doctor may tell you you’re fine, and medical tests may say you’re fine BUT YOU’RE NOT.
I loled.
What about how other peoples’ status and definitions of health are none of your business? How a person’s health does not at all correlate with their worth as a human being? How a person’s fatness, no matter how that person lives, does not negate their right to basic human kindness? Aren’t these things more important? Why AREN’T they more important?
And once you determine all of this arbitrary shit about these fat people you don’t know, bodies and experiences you will never understand, and ultimately define this invisible line between “good fatties” and “bad fatties” - then what? Should those “bad fatties” in the deathfat (“morbidly obese”) range be shamed for their bodies when we don’t know each person’s individual struggle or journey? If you perceive them to be “mistreating” their own bodies, just what exactly do you plan to do about it?
Because honestly, anything you think you might be able to do to help is going to produce the exact opposite of what you may be intending. That kind of “concern” isn’t needed and in fact is more detrimental to a person’s health and wellness than many fail to realize.
Not to mention, there are a SHIT ton of resources on this blog regarding fat health and debunking obesity myths. Take a look around, click through the tags, do some reading.
There is more to health than weight. Weight is not often the cause of health issues, but a factor or result of chronic illnesses or conditions that are not in a person’s control. Not to mention, 46% of obese people are metabolically healthy. They are FAT and HEALTHY.
I actually can’t count myself as a part of that statistic. My mental and chronic illnesses make it very hard for me to try to live up to society’s expectations of perfect health. So instead, I’ve defined health for myself - and fuck anyone for looking upon my fatness and thinking I’m “mistreating” my own body when, to put it bluntly, THEY DON’T KNOW A GODDAMN THING.
I’ve tried to put all of this in the most honest terms I can, but I’m sure you can feel my tone. There is rage, yes. Frustration, definitely - but it comes from explaining this shit over and over again. From the constant struggle for self-worth that comes with living in a fat body and dealing with health conditions. It is exhausting to constantly be fighting against the world, but it is possible to change, and I hope you will be compelled to.
You need to want to put in some actual time to research and let this information soak in. You need to want to think differently. You need to stop assuming that your definition of health and the definition that is touted in our society is anything but fucked and not at ALL inclusive.
I sincerely wish more people would care and look into these things for themselves rather than taking everyday media and shaming messaging regarding fat bodies at face-value. Please make an effort.
Asked Anonymous
Your mother’s good intentions are fucked. She is epitomizing the roll of what we like to call a “concern troll” - someone who uses the “but I’m just worried for your health” excuse in order to blatantly body/fat shame, as if there is an excuse. Of course she loves you and wants what’s best for you, but I can tell you right now - her knowledge of “what’s best” is heartily misinformed.
People of all sizes and weights and levels of health have stretch marks on their bodies. Weight does not determine health and health is so hard to define, changing from person to person.
You should not feel like you have to change yourself for anyone, or for any reason, except your own happiness and wellbeing. Not everyone can grasp this concept. It’s not widely promoted or accepted, but I can tell you right now - it’s 100% correct.
Take stock of how you feel about your body. How much does it have to do with what others are telling you and how much does it have to do with what YOU want for yourself? Why? Determine these things for yourself. Consider your health and what you want to achieve for yourself, without bringing weight into the picture. Instead focus on things that will honestly bring you happiness - tangible things, not grounded in aesthetics or dress sizes.
For example, my health goals at the moment involve improving my flexibility and my general mood/mental state. I stretch daily, work on breathing techniques and meditation. When I feel like being active, I do something I enjoy that I know will bring me happiness and not feel like punishment. Movement should not be about punishment or trying to beat your body into submission. It is so easy to go to that negative place.
When I was your age, I went to that negative place often, because I didn’t know any better. Despite my active lifestyle and relatively normal eating habits, my fat body continued to exist. At the time, I thought it was because I wasn’t working hard enough. In reality, it was because I was perfectly FINE the way I was.
I’d be willing to bet your mother has her own set of personal body image issues she may or may not be projecting onto you. Maybe that’s something you can tackle with her at some point, introduce her to new ways of thinking. For now, please focus on you. Listen to your body, form a relationship with it, know that you know yourself better than ANYONE else.
Try not to let your mother’s comments effect you, though I know from experience it’s likely they will. Try telling yourself: “She’s trying to help, but she doesn’t know. Only I know what’s best for me.”
TW: Fat-shaming
For my fatty friends:
I’m fine with fat acceptance as long as it doesn’t affect your health.
The instant your weight starts being an issue to your overall well-being, I will get in your face and tell you to work on it. I will support you however I can, but you have to KNOW that even if you’re “fine” with being obese and how it’ll probably take ten, twenty years off your life, THAT I AM NOT.
You are my FRIEND, and friends do not let other friends KILL THEMSELVES.
For slimikins.
I’m fine with your re-embodiment, acknowledgement of your own sentience, history and sense of your own humanity. But the instant that starts to conflict with my low opinion of you, based on a formula conflation of your size with a doom and destruction.
I will make the most of your loving investment in me to make myself an odious pest to you-issuing endless threats of your impending death.
Just when you need me the most.
To remind you that, “Yes, those years you’ve spent almost permanently on a diet, or trying desperately to be, did happen and yes you are still slim. Don’t just go back to that because its easier, we both know that has lead you to where you are now…..”
“For goodness sake, isn’t it time to start shutting the hate down? What do you have to put yourself through to stop following their orders and start to get back in touch with who you are and what you really need? Don’t wait for them, they won’t stop. You have to.”
“I want to see you take real care of yourself from now on. Restore your mental equilibrium, so that you can think with a clear head about what you really need to do for yourself……”
Nah, instead I will ruthlessly press upon the bond that we’ve built to make you feel like I must be on your side, even though I am making you feel like shit. And I will even insist I’m doing it as a favour to you.
That’s what friends do, honest!
^ Snaps.
Yes, because YOU know the health of your fat friends better than they know their own, right? How kind of you to presume. What a kind and considerate person you are to be so concerned. </sarcasm>
The moment any of my friends try to dictate anything about my life, I begin to question why they are a part of my life in the first place. If I don’t have a good answer, I have no problem cutting them away. People who think this way and refuse to acknowledge why it’s completely and utterly fucked have no business knowing the pleasure of my friendship.
My real friends let the people they care about live however the fuck they please, because they know other people’s habits and ways of living are none of their fucking business. They don’t judge and discriminate. They know my health doesn’t equate to my worth. They know that my fat body is not proof of anything. They know better.
Wise the fuck up.
Asked Anonymous
[TW: FAT SHAMING, FAT PHOBIA TROLLING]
I fully acknowledge that I said I wouldn’t feed the trolls, but this is, without a doubt, the most deceitfully hateful and horribly sad message I’ve ever received.
Your words are coated in some kind of hard, sugary enamel. You’re not fooling me.
I’m so sorry for you, darling. I really am…
But please accept this very heartfelt “fuck you” from my fat ass, to your ignorant mind.
Let it be a wake up call to you, that your way of thinking is utterly and completely fucked.
“Ew. You’re so fat! That’s so gross and unhealthy!”
Stfu.
LOL JUST KIDDING NO I’M NOT SORRY
I would also like to reiterate this point and add to it that I fully recognize the rights of oppressed parties to fucking rage WHENEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT TO.
A few days ago I contributed to a discussion about misgendering. I included a story about almost slipping up and misgendering a trans* friend of mine and detailed my thought processes that were involved.
This morning I woke up to a raging message in my ask box regarding that post.
I had overstepped a line and contributed to a discussion that I wasn’t welcome to contribute to - for that I heartily apologize. I have removed the offending post from my blog and have learned why it is wrong to contribute to a discussion that is not meant for me and my cis-privilege.
I also fully acknowledge that the person who sent me that raging bitch message has EVERY FUCKING RIGHT IN THE WORLD TO BE ANGRY. And I thank them for setting me fucking straight.
When people get angry, it’s for a goddamn good reason. And the world gives us plenty of reasons to get angry, so best get fucking used to it.
Asked likeimdevastated
Asked Anonymous
LOL JUST KIDDING NO I’M NOT SORRY
Asked logic-and-art
Asked happyonaccident
“Fat” is not always a health concern. It may be for you, and may be for some people, but it should not be implied that all fat bodies are automatically unhealthy.
I will not accept what you have to say when it negates common sense or perpetuates stereotypes about fat health that I am fighting to dispel.
Fat ≠ unhealthy.
Health is not a virtue and does not determine one’s worth.
Health is personal. My health is not your concern. Your health is not my concern.
What applies to you does not automatically apply to everyone else.
Open your own fucking mind.
Asked happyonaccident
I don’t believe in God, but I do believe in beauty.
Also, fuck you and your “concern” - I don’t need it, nor does anyone else. If you can’t see why making implications about someone’s health based on their weight is not only NOT FUCKING HELPFUL but super shaming and wrong, then please remove yourself. This is not a space for you or your voice.