WHAT WE'RE ABOUT
We are constantly redefining our own perspectives, and therefore tend to write a lot about our personal experiences. Many followers and contributors are living with anorexia, bulimia, body dysmorphic disorder, depression, and a variety of other body image disorders or mental illnesses, so please be respectful and remember that health applies differently to everyone. Any and all potentially triggering content will be prefaced with a trigger warning.
RBI supports all races, genders, classes, and sizes. We try our best to make this a safe space for everyone. If we are not doing our job or checking our privilege, we invite you to please inform us.
Some of the artwork you see here has been created by our founder or moderators, some sourced when applicable. Please be kind enough to source this blog whenever you share it's content.
We are not health professionals. Any and all advice provided on this blog is supported only by our own research, studies, and personal experiences; nothing more.
This blog is part of the Safe Space Network.
Hi there!
First and foremost, thanks for the love on my steampunk corset and jeans photo set. If you’ve got the time, space, and inclination, I’ve attached another photo that showcase me as a confident, body positive, happy fat chick.
Thanks and keep up the awesome work!
-Madeline
madelineoleery.tumblr.com
beautiful soft soft belly, i love it.
These sort of post really frustrate me! I agree everyone needs to love themselves but it wasn’t love that got you to obesity and if you continue you are going to die a short and/or unsatisfied life.
Loving who you are means valuing your life, your health, because without that you have nothing. I am not saying everyone needs to be a size 8 to feel good about themselves, not at all, I am just saying we should all aim to be the best versions of ourselves.
Fuck you to the moon and back for your assumptions, media-generated phobia about the morals of health, and vague threats of early death based in very little fact. Seems anyone can see into the future these days, or look at a person and think so confidently that their story and habits are common knowledge. All based off of one little photograph of a lovely human being who has lived an entire experience you know nothing about.
The best version of oneself is the version that feels content, knows who they are, does good things and thinks deeply, is considerate of other experiences and more inclined to look for the good than an excuse to shame.
All bodies are good bodies when the beings inside them are honest and true.
Fuck thinness = health ideals.
Fuck perpetuating stigmas and myths.
We are unashamed, as there is no thing to be ashamed of.
We have a right to our own acceptance, our revelation of self worth, the beauty we find in “flaws” and standards in beauty and health, the desire to be seen and heard. We challenge your way of thinking, because it is riddled with error. Accept it, learn, move on, and let us exist in our pride for who we are and how we feel without interjecting your shame. It not productive or bettering anyone in any way.
You seemed convinced that I don’t know what I’m talking about, and very rudely insulted someone who has dealt with eating disorders and losing family members thanks to diet and obesity related illnesses.
You say I’m not educated, but I am—-more than I’d ever hope to be. I thought I’d find an ally in you in agreeing that the current body image standards are awful. Instead, I’m one of the enemy, even if I’m not thin because I don’t think and feel exactly as you do.
You say that being “fat”—-a term I hate because it’s an aesthetic, not health-related has no correlation to health and liveliness. I just thought I’d send you some medical information, then. Hopefully this subject can be approached from a factual, and not a, aesthetic standpoint.
http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/data/adult.html
http://www.forbes.com/sites/rickungar/2012/04/30/obesity-now-costs-americans-more-in-healthcare-costs-than-smoking/
http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/health/jan-june12/obesity_05-08.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obesity
Beauty standards are so arbitrary that they should never factor in here, but please do not go on and shame people for pointing out a health crisis. That is NOT fat shaming, and if you want to really fight shaming people for how they look, please target that problem on its own. Encourage people to be HEALTHY, no matter how it makes them appear.———————————————————————————————————
Just gonna keep on spewing ignorance, aren’t you? There is no health crisis in terms of obesity. There is no ‘epidemic’. People can be healthy at any size but also, guess what? People are not obligated to be healthy. A person’s health is their business and no one elses.
Did you even read the links I directed you towards? I’m guessing you didn’t read those before firing your own bullshit at me.
Btw, fat is not a bad word. Fat is a descriptor, nothing more. It’s society that has turned it into an insult and attached so many negative thoughts and words to it. I will reclaim the word fat.
You will not find an ally in me with your body shaming.
I would just really like to tack onto the first discussion of this that mentions eating disorders - there are BINGE EATING DISORDERS - so let’s not ignore that.
Also - there IS NOT OBESITY EPIDEMIC.
I REPEAT - THERE IS NO OBESITY EPIDEMIC.
http://www.cleveland.com/healthfit/index.ssf/2012/12/is_there_really_an_obesity_epi.html
BOOM BABY!
It’s amazing what pharmaceutical and insurance companies can buy, isn’t it?
Did you know…
You can love your body without hating someone else’s.
You can enjoy having curves without bashing thinness.You can be fit and love exercising without criticising or labeling those who don’t.
You can be a size XS without ridiculing a size XL.
You can be attracted to one body type without slagging off another.
You can shave your legs, pubic area or armpits without labeling those who don’t.
You can not shave your legs, pubic area of armpits without shaming those who do.
You can be a muscular man and still be just as much of a man as a skinny man.
The degree of a woman’s womanliness should not be measured by her physical appearance.
The degree of a man’s masculinity should not be measured by his physical appearance.
QUIT THE BS ALREADY.
Choose to be part of the solution, not part of the problem.
This is an important mantra for many different levels of body positive topics. The biggest thing to remember is to be inclusive and intersectional. Don’t uplift one thing by standing on the shoulders of something else. Love vaginas, but remember that women aren’t the only one’s that have them. Love fat bodies, but remember that this does not denote “a real woman”, thin women exist too. Celebrate the butch, androgynous, masculine women without demonizing the femme. I’m probably leaving out some important ones here so please feel free to chime in followers as well fellow mods.
[tw: fat shaming, weight loss]
At my quarterly eval @ my karate school, I was told that my fundamentals, & Participation are good and my flexibility surprises one of my instructors
Need to work on stamina and getting my kicks higher. Her solution to both: lose weight.
She said she expects higher kicks because of my flexibility but my body is getting in my way.
Ugh!! Can’t get away from it and it makes me feel sub-standard! Will I be appraised by weight or ability? I wanted to cry right there. My heart was in my stomach.
Now, I’m thankful that I’m able to do as much as I do but this has been digging at me for two days. She couldn’t at least wait until next week to mess up my self-esteem… instead of now just before Thanksgiving?
I really want to just give into these negative feelings. After all, an expert said these things so it must be true. So how do I overcome this loathing, defeated feeling? How do I face going back in there? Does everyone else look at me like that? “See that fat lady doing karate? Good for her! At least she’s trying. How does she manage to do what she does?” How do I overcome the paranoia?
i’m glad you asked this question. I could only watch about 10 minutes of it before I was so disgusted I had to turn it off.
It was just a play on the same old sad stereotypes of ‘fat is unhealthy’, ‘fat is lazy’ ‘fat is disgusting’ etc. etc. etc. And it’s disappointing because South Park usually has really good commentary on popular culture.
You know what, I APPLAUD Honey Boo Boo and her family. They’re not your typical ‘attractive’ family, but they obviously love each other and they’re happy. That counts for a lot more than their education level or their weight.
- The obesity epidemic is a lie. Obesity rates have stayed the same, and in some places even dropped, since 2000.
- ‘Obesity’ is judged by BMI, which is an invalid measure of health. Even the creator of BMI himself never wanted it to be used as a measure of health.
- In 1998, the guidelines for BMI were changed. Millions of people went to bed one night being ‘normal’, and woke up ‘overweight’ according to the new standards. So all the reports you hear of, about how people are getting fatter and fatter, is actually the definition of what ‘fat’ is changing.
Fat people have no shame? Fat people have no shame? Has anyone who created that episode EVER spoken to a fat person? ANY fat person, any chubby person, hell, the majority of ‘average’ people have been ‘shamed’ for being too fat. They’ve been told over and over that they’re lazy, ugly, no one will ever love them, they’ll never get a good job, they don’t deserve nice clothes, I could go on forever.
Fat people don’t ask for special treatment, as this episode depicts. Fat people ask for equal treatment. To have the ability to do the same things normal people do. Like being comfortable in a movie theatre, or to be able to go on an airplane without paying double. Or even more importantly, having GOOD and complete healthcare that doesn’t consist of ‘just lose weight and all your health problems will go away.’ That’s not having no shame.
There is a problem in this country, I’m not denying that. People aren’t eating well enough. People aren’t exercising enough. But you know what, that goes for thin people too. There are millions of thin people who eat junk, are sedentary, and end up with the same diabetes, hypertension, heart problems, etc. that the medical community likes to pretend only fat people can get. (Fun fact, 75% of obese people never get diabetes.)
The problem is not fat. The problem is lack of access to healthy food and exercise. THAT’S what needs to be fixed. And not by programs like Let’s Move!, which was funded by a 13.6% cut to the SNAP (food stamp) program, which means that low-income families, which are already proven to be more likely to be obese, are even less able to afford healthful food.
It’s a much, much bigger problem than the size of someone’s jeans. Regardless of someone’s size or health, NO ONE should be shamed like that. Not your body? Not your business. I’m really, really disappointed that South Park couldn’t do better.
Love,
I received this same question and had the worst time trying to formulate a response, so I’m reblogging Amber’s eloquence because it’s perf.
I grew up watching South Park. I have seen every single episode. They don’t give a fuck about sensitivity and trying to find critical or meaningful things to say about what they choose to portray is like trying to find meaning in any kind of crude, non-PC humor - It’ll just end up going in circles.
I watched the episode last night and yes, it’s pretty fucking appalling. It perpetuates really fucked up ways of thinking about fatness and “obesity” to those viewers who aren’t mindful or aware enough to be critical.
Sometimes I find it too hard to stomach some of the shit that comes across - especially in this episode - and I worry what viewers will truly take away from it. But what else would you expect? I certainly don’t expect SP to do anything groundbreaking or mindful when the entire cult of SP is grounded in total nonsense and a desire to push buttons.
It’s whatever. When an episode ends with Michelle Obama starting a “sketti wrestling” match and continues to portray her beating the hell out of Honey Boo Boo whilst she squeals like a pig…I don’t even know.
Your “am I the only one here who isn’t a slut?” picture just happened to strike me when not long after reading that, I was yelled by some girls in a car to “put some clothes on” because I was wearing shorts. I was wearing a t-shirt and shorts and I don’t understand why they would say that. It actually upsets me although I’m trying to tell myself I have the freedom to wear what I like.
Ah there it is. My comment, of course, isn’t there because she so graciously deleted it. I basically told her to stop judging and let them dress how they want. HOW DARE I.
Things like this are the things that remind me how much I fucking just hate people.
Not only do we have a shitton of self righteous fatphobia, we’ve also got some great slut shaming going on: “The more you see the easier you look.”
Well guess what? My cellulite-ridden ass hanging out of my gold sequined hot pants may make it look like I’m “easy” to you, but you won’t be getting any of it.
whenever i see posts like this i makeup backstories for the slutty girls
YES
LOOK AT THAT COMMENTARY
P E R F E C T
[[Skank Flank: The New Tramp Stamp]]
A few days ago, @forestine sent me {this article}. It’s another “tattoos are soo trendy” article from a major news source. Like we haven’t heard a thousand people tell us this before.
But here’s the part that really bothered her, and me:
… a popular placement for women’s tattoos has moved from the lower back to the rib area.
“We call it the ‘skank flank,’” [the tattoo artist we interviewed] said. “Every week or two, I see another girl with another rib piece, and you have to tell them that.”
Excuse me?
Wanting to get a discrete tattoo that you can easily cover up makes you a skank?
Since when are ribs considered a sexual body part?
Really, if nothing else this makes the fact that “tramp stamps” are body shaming that much more clear. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term body shaming, it’s a cultural phenomenon that essentially makes everything you do with your body wrong. You’re fat? Lazy and disgusting. You’re skinny? Eat a cheeseburger you look anorexic. You’re fit? You look like a man. And so on. It’s designed to make women (and increasingly men) feel bad about their body, no matter what they do or how they look.
Here is how the same douchebags would like us to view tattoos:
- Lower back tattoos: you’re a tramp
- Rib tattoos: you’re a skank
- Wrist tattoos: you’re a dumb skank
- Arm tattoos: you’re a whore
- Leg tattoos: you’re a whore
- Feet tattoos: you’re a whore
- Shoulder tattoos: you’re a whore
- Tattoos anywhere: you’re a whore
- No tattoos: you’re still a whore.
There is no bit exaggeration in this. Anyone who would call the girl above a skank for getting a Disney tattoo on her ribs is a fucking idiot.
All of this language is used to control women. To make us judge each other’s bodies, feel self-conscious about our own, or dictate what we can or can’t do (with tattoos, weight gain/loss, or anything else.)
Really, the best way to nip this in the bud is by calling out anyone who uses the language of “tramp stamps.” The logic is the same in both, and by having conversations with people on why this sort of language hurts women, we can start reclaiming our ability to tattoo whatever parts of our body we want.
:/
There are plenty of mothers who don’t have the time to work out. Or maybe they can’t afford to work out and let’s be real, doing sit ups will only get you so far. Once your body reaches that plateau, you’re going to have to put more work in and let’s face it, a gym is usually more helpful. What if the mom lives in an apartment and would love to buy those 20 bucks workout DVDs but she can’t fully workout without disturbing her neighbor. Let’s just say there are plenty of “excuses” out there and laziness isn’t one of them, or at least not the only one.
Here’s my after baby body-
So what’s my excuse? What’s my excuse for what exactly? The excuse for why I’m still fat? My body looks the way it does because ~shock horror~ I LIKE my body. I love my stretch marks, I love my fat rolls, I love my cellulite. My body looks the way it does because I LIKE it to look this way.
If the woman in that picture loves to work out and she wants to be toned then that is completely okay, it’s her body and that is her choice.
I like to look the way I do and that is my choice. Fuck anyone who tries to make me feel inferior because of my choices.
I’m a great mother, regardless if my body looks ‘acceptable’ enough for society.
…On “inbetweenies” claiming “fat”.
Hello!
I’m a UK size 14 and finally accepting how good I look. I’m starting to love my chunky legs and now know where to show to find items to suit me!
I’m a fashion blogger, owl lover, geek and motorsports fan.
Kinda bored of these thin girls submitting to fat-pos sites.
Maybe this girl is possibly a bit of an in-betweenie, but I’m actually kind of annoyed to see someone this thin claiming fat.
yeah uh, yeah.
When I first discovered fat acceptance, I was a size 14 - quite similar to this girl.
“Overweight” most of my life, I’d adapted really horrible eating habits to keep myself at a size 14 and tried in vain to become smaller. I had a lot of hate and contempt for myself and my young body. I would never have called myself fat except as a self-depricating insult or way of enticing my peers to deny my fatness or make me feel better about it.
Fat acceptance and fat-posi spaces took me in and taught me, without judgement. I was lucky enough to never be denied access to these spaces as an “inbetweenie” - If I had, I would not be where I am right now. I would still be stuck in my own cycle of self hate, disordered eating habits and fucked ways of thinking, afraid of fat, in denial of it.
Instead, as I struggled with my inescapable weight gain, fat positive spaces helped me cope and understand. I began to call myself fat because I was, for once, proud of the fat on my body. I owned the fact that I was “overweight” - or “fat” - and was suddenly unashamed to say the word. Unafraid of becoming as fat as my body wanted to become, for the sake of my own mental health and wellness.
At a current size 16/18, I realize the privileges that come with living on the “thinner” side of fat every single day. I have an abundance of fat on my body and am categorically “obese” by BMI standards, but I have never been denied healthcare, or had to buy a second seat or ask for a belt extender on an airplane, or had any trouble with mobility or access to proper clothing options, or a myriad of the other bullshit things my deathfat babes have to endure.
My fat experiences are valid and they are my own but I can see how they are different and I can realize why those differences exist. I am sure this girl can see that, too. If she doesn’t, maybe we can give her an opportunity to learn rather than deny her inclusion.
I realize that there are many interpretations of what it means to be “fat positive”. This way of thinking, that fat positivity has a weight limit, does not seem helpful to me - although I do understand being frustrated with seeing the same type of bodies over and over again, to some extent.
For instance, I’ve stopped following a number of fat-posi blogs that showcase nothing but proportional hourglass white-girl curves ore neglect to include bodies over a size 20. There is nothing wrong with these types of bodies, but a lack of variety and understanding of intersectionality in fat-posi spaces is, to me, the biggest issue at hand - not whether or not the contributing users are fat enough to “belong”.
So let’s not turn anyone away, please. Especially those teetering on the cusp, on the verge of trying to accept and understand their bodies for the first time. Let’s instead focus on how we can add or improve.
I suppose if you feel quite strongly about it, that is your choice to enforce in your own spaces, and I can certainly respect anyone looking to try to create better fat-pos environments for those fat bodies with the least privileges. I just feel I can do that while also being completely all inclusive, and I personally aim to continue welcoming any/all bodies in this space.
I think the real problem is not that we’re not willing to accept people for their size, it’s that a US size 12 (UK 14) calling herself fat makes US size 22s kinda of feel like crap. It’s setting back confidence. If a size 12 is fat, then what is a size 22? If a 12 thinks she’s fat, what does she think of a size 22? What about a 26? Bigger? Do you think I look gross because I’m more than 10 inches bigger around than you, and you have to cope with yourself? I would hardly call a 12 an inbetweener. A 12 is healthy, nicely sized, and the girl in the photo has good proportion.
That is why at least I don’t think she belongs here.
I actually misinterpreted the girl’s size and thought she was a US 14, but this has nothing to do with setting back confidence or making others feel worse - not in the slightest. This is about acceptance.
A US size 12 has more fat on their body than a size 4. Many plus-size models are size 12 and considered “overweight” by BMI standards - it is an accepted level of “fat” and is enforced as such in the media, in our society at large.
Many people of that size experience shame for existing in a body that is not a thin ideal. Their experiences may not be anywhere near as similar as someone of a larger size, but those experiences of shame are still valid and personally detrimental.
“Fat” is a word we use to identify our bodies, reclaiming it as a positive word, a good thing - like this girl is doing, like I have done. It is different when one applies the word to their body as a means of embracing it rather than using it to imply ugliness or discontent.
I’ve seen some pretty problematic stuff floating around my dash lately concerning body acceptance and everything that goes along with it.
It’s okay to do what you feel is best for your body, whether that means sitting on the couch all day or running a marathon every six months. It isn’t my place to judge what you do with something that belongs to you and no one else.
It’s not okay to shame someone for a choice they make that involves their body. Okay? It’s really that simple. Like, unless you’re living in that body with them, it isn’t your concern.
People will raise questions about eating disorders and obesity and health, but again, unless it’s your body or you’re looking for help, it’s no one else’s business or right to shame you.
So you can eat well or well enough or you can eat like my brother does: five sodas a day, and nothing but carbs, because he’s a picky eater and most things offend him. You can go to the gym, you can walk to the get the mail, you can sit on your ass or whatever, because it’s what makes you comfortable.
I’m seriously so tired of seeing these remarks. I don’t personally think you can be body positive, while shaming the shit out of other people for their body choices. It doesn’t work that way. What it means, is that you’re willing to make another person feel bad, if it makes your body look better. And that’s the end of it.
As I’ve been receiving and answering questions, I’ve noticed one question being asked more and more above all others.
In short: “HOW do I deal with fat shaming?”
Part one of this video series covers my number one way to deal - Going on a “Media Diet”I’ll be continuing this series at a random pace that will be dictated by my life, schedule, habits, and ever-changing states of mind. Nevertheless, the planned topic for subsequent vlogs will focus on how to deal with fat shaming in public and online spaces.
As I’ve been receiving and answering questions, I’ve noticed one question being asked more and more above all others.
In short: “HOW do I deal with fat shaming?”
Part one of this video series covers my number one way to deal - Going on a “Media Diet”
I’ll be continuing this series at a random pace that will be dictated by my life, schedule, habits, and ever-changing states of mind. Nevertheless, the planned topic for subsequent vlogs will focus on how to deal with fat shaming in public and online spaces.
Yes. Skinny shaming is equally as horrible to do as fat shaming. Fat shaming may be more prevalent, but just because one is more prevalent than the other doesn’t mean it’s okay to shame that body type over another.
Fat shaming is fueled by direct discrimination against fat bodies that is perpetuated by our fat phobic, ~obese~ hating, fat health shaming, entirely misinformed society.
Skinny shaming doesn’t have that kind of discrimination tied to it. The only time I’ve see skinny-shaming happening is among people who are trying to create fat-positive spaces and generally misunderstand the point that just because they are finding power in their own fat bodies does not mean all other bodies deserve hate.
Yes, body shaming in any context is fucking horrid. But it is not the same.