just wondering, why don’t you like the artwork from arthlete?
WHAT WE'RE ABOUT
RBI focuses on using expressive writing, design-oriented work, photography, media, research, and community input to fuel fat positive, body acceptance, discussion, and outreach. Our goal is to redefine the way we view and think about body image, size, fat, discrimination, health, fitness, wellness, mental/chronic illness, stigma, and other related topics.
We are constantly redefining our own perspectives, and therefore tend to write a lot about our personal experiences. Many followers and contributors are living with anorexia, bulimia, body dysmorphic disorder, depression, and a variety of other body image disorders or mental illnesses, so please be respectful and remember that health applies differently to everyone. Any and all potentially triggering content will be prefaced with a trigger warning.
RBI supports all races, genders, classes, and sizes. We try our best to make this a safe space for everyone. If we are not doing our job or checking our privilege, we invite you to please inform us.
Some of the artwork you see here has been created by our founder or moderators, some sourced when applicable. Please be kind enough to source this blog whenever you share it's content.
We are not health professionals. Any and all advice provided on this blog is supported only by our own research, studies, and personal experiences; nothing more.
This blog is part of the Safe Space Network.
We are constantly redefining our own perspectives, and therefore tend to write a lot about our personal experiences. Many followers and contributors are living with anorexia, bulimia, body dysmorphic disorder, depression, and a variety of other body image disorders or mental illnesses, so please be respectful and remember that health applies differently to everyone. Any and all potentially triggering content will be prefaced with a trigger warning.
RBI supports all races, genders, classes, and sizes. We try our best to make this a safe space for everyone. If we are not doing our job or checking our privilege, we invite you to please inform us.
Some of the artwork you see here has been created by our founder or moderators, some sourced when applicable. Please be kind enough to source this blog whenever you share it's content.
We are not health professionals. Any and all advice provided on this blog is supported only by our own research, studies, and personal experiences; nothing more.
This blog is part of the Safe Space Network.
My place of employment is giving us an opportunity to propose what we would do with one full month (paid) devoted to participating in some sort of charitable initiative.
How we spend our time and provide support is completely up to us.
But only one person will be picked, so whatever it is I propose, it’s gotta be a good one…
AND I WANT MY IDEA TO BE BODY POSITIVE OF COURSE.
Whatever this is, I could travel - but would likely prefer to stay in the Detroit region.
However I spend my time is completely up to me. However, I am completely at a loss as to where to start first.
Drop me a line or answer here - any and all ideas are much appreciated as I begin to formulate my plan. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS.
- What sorts of charities do you give to that have to do with body image, eating disorder awareness, disability, mental illness, etc..?
- What sorts of things do you think would be really great for me to focus on in my approach?
- Where is help needed? What can I do? Where can I go?
- Are there any big events coming up or community outreach programs I should know about?
- Have you done charitable work like this in the past? Could you lend me some advice?
Asked giebenrath
A product of a fucked society and culture fixated on perfection. And money.
But those who partake will receive no judgement from me, we are all free to do with our bodies what we wish, and I respect that very much.
While I agree wholeheartedly with Haley, I’d like to note that it can also be a very powerful tool to repair or adjust ones bodies when they are not functioning or appearing to our benefit. Plastic surgery is used to repair damage from accidents, burns, skin deformities, congenital ’abnormalities’ such as a cleft lip/palate, not to mention allowing trans* individuals a variety of options in battling dysphoria. I think when used responsibly it can have a great healing affect in a person’s life.
However, I agree it’s glorified, overused, and abused within our culture; to an almost disgusting degree.
Asked Anonymous
Referring to a previous post
Really, the message I got from that piece was “I’d rather be Fat than Crazy” which is an unhealthy attitude all around.
I think the article is written in the tone of most in our culture, one where ‘fat’ is a dirty word and mental illness is shameful and ultimately undesirable. It’s about one woman’s choice to treat her crippling depression and psychosis with a drug that is known to increase appetite and cause nearly irreversible weight gain.
Even the title of the essay “Killing My Body to Save My Mind” intimates that adding extra weight to her body is deadly and THE WORST THING that could happen to a person. It’s clear this is the writers opinion, and as a very tiny woman (She states she is only 5ft tall and weighed 100lbs) an 80lb weight gain is drastic, and probably feels deadly to her.
The writer repeatedly frames her decision to treat her mental illness as “sacrificing” her body to save her mind, describes the process as a physical “breakdown” “I can feel myself living at the cusp of some physical mishap, perhaps even disaster.” When really what she is describing is her metabolism slowing to a point where she must make conscious decisions and great effort to “stabilize” her weight.
This poor woman is deeply disconnected with her body because she gained weight in the course of treatment. She describes her body as ”offending, unfamiliar carcass” “lipidinous tyrant” “the carcass I’ve had to disown” and does not seek to reframe “healthy” to include extra weight on her body in exchange for peace in her mind.
As a person whose chosen treatment with many different medications that cause weight gain, I can say that gaining weight does not necessarily equate with poorer health or health problems in general. In fact, drastic weight gain or loss are considered among my symptoms and side effects, since my diet is stable and my physical exertion level is constant. I accept that my body looks and moves differently depending on it’s size, but that size has no bearing it’s level of health.
Not only is the article fat shaming, it’s posing a false dilemma by equating only the physical with overall “Health”, and removing emotional/mental components.
What about how other peoples’ status and definitions of health are none of your business? How a person’s health does not at all correlate with their worth as a human being? How a person’s fatness, no matter how that person lives, does not negate their right to basic human kindness? Aren’t these things more important? Why AREN’T they more important?
And once you determine all of this arbitrary shit about these fat people you don’t know, bodies and experiences you will never understand, and ultimately define this invisible line between “good fatties” and “bad fatties” - then what? Should those “bad fatties” in the deathfat (“morbidly obese”) range be shamed for their bodies when we don’t know each person’s individual struggle or journey? If you perceive them to be “mistreating” their own bodies, just what exactly do you plan to do about it?
Because honestly, anything you think you might be able to do to help is going to produce the exact opposite of what you may be intending. That kind of “concern” isn’t needed and in fact is more detrimental to a person’s health and wellness than many fail to realize.
Not to mention, there are a SHIT ton of resources on this blog regarding fat health and debunking obesity myths. Take a look around, click through the tags, do some reading.
There is more to health than weight. Weight is not often the cause of health issues, but a factor or result of chronic illnesses or conditions that are not in a person’s control. Not to mention, 46% of obese people are metabolically healthy. They are FAT and HEALTHY.
I actually can’t count myself as a part of that statistic. My mental and chronic illnesses make it very hard for me to try to live up to society’s expectations of perfect health. So instead, I’ve defined health for myself - and fuck anyone for looking upon my fatness and thinking I’m “mistreating” my own body when, to put it bluntly, THEY DON’T KNOW A GODDAMN THING.
I’ve tried to put all of this in the most honest terms I can, but I’m sure you can feel my tone. There is rage, yes. Frustration, definitely - but it comes from explaining this shit over and over again. From the constant struggle for self-worth that comes with living in a fat body and dealing with health conditions. It is exhausting to constantly be fighting against the world, but it is possible to change, and I hope you will be compelled to.
You need to want to put in some actual time to research and let this information soak in. You need to want to think differently. You need to stop assuming that your definition of health and the definition that is touted in our society is anything but fucked and not at ALL inclusive.
I sincerely wish more people would care and look into these things for themselves rather than taking everyday media and shaming messaging regarding fat bodies at face-value. Please make an effort.
We don’t get to decide what triggers people.
To be frank, the thinspo bombing pisses me off. I don’t find it productive, positive, helpful, or as an act of reclamation in any way. There is a difference in standing up for the idea that your body is inherently valuable, and refusing to accept abuse/fat-shaming from other people, and seeking to engage with people who have a very real and dangerous mental illness in an attempt to flaunt the fact that you are in a part of your journey that seems unimaginable to them.
I’m pissed off that most of the people involved in the thinspo bombing are members of the feedism community, because your right to a fetish does not outweigh someone’s need for mental stability and self-love.
Don’t get me wrong. The people who are responding to the thinspo bombing with fat-hate, racial slurs, and whatever else are fucking up too. Because they’ve surrounded themselves (intentionally or not) with so much hate, so much negative thought, that they’re grasping onto any hurtful material they can use to throw back at the people who are thinspo bombing, and that is unacceptable. Racism is unacceptable. Fat-shaming is unacceptable. Telling people to go kill themselves is unacceptable.
But it’s not just about posting pictures of fat people in the thinspo tag. Because there have been so many captions to those pictures that say something like “I hope this helps you puke!” That’s NOT body positive. It’s fucking ableist. It’s NOT a form of fat acceptance. It’s not fucking acceptable.
I really really hate that the fat tag is largely negative. I try to change that by tagging body positive posts with “fat” in the hopes that it will create a more positive tag. But bombing the thinspo tag with triggering messages is not positive or cute or okay. It’s just not.
Why don’t we bomb the fuck out of the fat tag? Why don’t we post tons and tons of positive fat messages? Because going into a space that is mostly for mentally ill individuals and saying “HEY LOOK AT US WE LOVE OURSELVES WHY CAN’T YOU LOVE YOURSELF YOU’RE SO BAD BECAUSE YOU CAN’T LOVE YOURSELF” is not fucking okay.
There are better ways of standing up for fat bodies. This isn’t it.
rebloggable by request
I am all about bombing the “fat” tag all day every day forever.
Some great thoughts on yoga and body acceptance! Thanks everyone :)
Woo y’all are talkative tonight, I love it!
TW: Weight loss discussion
I love your blog and everything you stand for. I’m having a bit of a problem and hope you can help me? I’m 20, 5’10” and 200lbs. I used to be 170lbs. I’m really struggling to accept my “new” body. I don’t know if I should just (for lack of better words) quit trying and accept it, or if I should try to lose weight. I want to accept it, but don’t know if I can..
——
I know this feeling all too well, so I will speak from my experience. I’ve gained about 30 pounds in the past couple of years and still have a hard time owning this new space my body takes up. Stretch marks seemed to pop up over night and I am still getting used to them. So I made this the other night while I was thinking about it and snapping photos of my lightning bolts, and I made this one day (GIF EPILEPSY WARNING) when I was feeling really great about my tummy. Everyone has their own unique way to deal, understand, and cope with their feelings about their body.
Change can be frightening, when your visible self and the way people perceive you seems so out of your control, but it helps to deconstruct those feelings. Think about what is in your control.
My fat, skin, physical health, mental health, wellness, and body, are ever-changing crazy things that adapt to the elements. I’ve also got some genetic and chronic conditions that contribute to my definition of health. I know I have no firm grasp of control over these things and I strive to accept that fact with a “take it as it comes” kind of mentality.
I could try to guess what weight would be “healthiest” for me or strive to lose weight if that would really make me happy, but it doesn’t. I could try to minimized my stretch marks with creams and go on a rigid diet if that would make me happy, but it doesn’t.
So I focus on what keeps me happy, makes me feel sane, and try very much not to beat myself up about the things I may or may not be able to change. Because in my past, whenever I strove for change in regards to my weight or my dress size, I never got what I “wanted”. It was a cycle of hate and unhealthy habits and ways of thinking. So I broke it, and I’m not turning back. Or I try not to. There are still times when I think, “Should I have tried this?” “Maybe I wasn’t trying hard enough” - but the truth is I tried everything, and I tried super hard. I have always been overweight. I’m accepting it and moving on with my life.
Some people enjoy working out just to work out, or enjoy eating a certain way because it makes them happy - it’s unique to everyone. You could decide to make goals with losing weight in mind if that is what you really want, if that is what you think will help you find happiness, contentment, and acceptance with your body. But based on my experience, in doing so you’re already setting yourself up to fail by having an ideal to live up to, even if you think it’s reasonable. Ideals are never as attainable as you want them to be, so why waste time chasing after a number on the scale when you could enjoy being the person you are now, right this moment, regardless? Again, this is just my perspective.
We all have our own journeys and ways of finding out and defining what health and wellness and happiness and beauty means to us, and they never, ever end. Through it all, you only have yourself. Even when bumps come along and you’re struggling with yourself, there is always time to set it right again.
There was a period in the last year where something triggered in me a desire to suddenly join Weight Watchers. And a gym. I knew fully well I was setting myself up to fail. I knew through trial and error that I didn’t need WW and public exercise, I needed mindful, intuitive eating and movement that is appropriate for me. But my mind was suddenly back in destructive mode, “weight loss” mode, and I snapped myself out of it once I reminded myself why this method never worked before. Because it simply isn’t for me.
It all comes down to you. I can’t say it enough, or remind myself of it enough, and it’s easy to forget although it seems so simple. You don’t owe anything to anyone else but you.
My body confidence is unique to me and your body confidence is unique to you. We have different bodies, needs, wants, goals, experiences - and thus, our journeys are different.
First lesson: Stop judging people. If you’re nicer to other people, you can be nicer to yourself.
Second lesson: Stop comparing yourself to people. Your body, health, life, is all yours and no one elses.
Third lesson: Be easy on yourself. The world is already trying to tear you down. You don’t need to help them with that.
Realize that all of this takes TIME. You didn’t learn to hate yourself overnight. You won’t unlearn that hate overnight either.
<3
rebloggable version
Anonymous asked redefiningbodyimage:
I am often guilty of misusing the “I feel fat” moniker that we’ve been taught to use. But sometimes, I am simply describing myself as fat (because I am and it’s an accurate description). I once had a friend reply, “…but you’re nice.” It’s probably the funniest thing that’s ever happened to me, but I think it shows and underlines how uncomfortable almost everyone feels with the idea of fat as a descriptor rather than a definer.
Well, when you describe yourself as fat, that’s much different than describing how you feel. “I’m fat” = “My body is fat.” This is fact and description. “I feel fat” = “I feel all of these things that are associated with the word fat, which are more often than not horrible things.” It’s making “fat” a catch-all word that could mean so many things.
“I feel fat and FABULOUS”, however, would be a method of turning it around so that it’s less about implying one thing about the word and more about being obvious about it by tying it to a positive adjective. Although I really still just take issue with using the word “fat” in correlation with how I feel anyway, for personal reasons.
I would rather say “I am fat and I feel fabulous” or “I am fat and I feel horrible” because it is the most accurate. It separates one from the other. You can still express emotions about your fat body without saying “I feel fat.” I hope I’m making sense.
Your example about someone basically mistaking “fat” to mean “not nice” is indeed ridiculous, but interesting. The ways words work is always the most fascinating and frustrating thing in the world to me. Seriously! Also, tone is important.
A friend once asked to look at my work badge with a photo of my face on it. I had the photo taken really early in the morning and I was exceptionally puffy-eyed and weird looking and sometimes feel weird about it. I’m trying my best to accept and embrace my awkward fat face as it appears in different forms and angles in photographs, my body as well. But I still ended up saying something like “my face looks exceptionally fat” in a tone that was less than enthusiastic, like a reflex. I mean of course it looks fat, it is fat! It is what it is! That dismissive tone is just so natural sometimes because it’s like I’ve been programmed to respond in that way.
That was a few months ago and I’ve already made some huge strides, I feel, in distinguishing some important feelings about my body.
I’ve concluded that it just makes more sense to me to look at “fat” as a part of me, a naturally occurring thing, and try to separate it from my neuroses and emotions.
The other weekend I spent time with some of my oldest and dearest friends who I love like my own family and will always love. We were all caught in some strange awkward moment wherein the smiles on our faces obviously display our discontent for being captured.
That’s me in the center. My usual impulse to excuse my red skin, thick arms, double chin, red face, messy unwashed hair and awkward smile still exists. But really the main thing in the forefront of my mind is that when I look at this picture I just think “I love that we are all beautiful weirdos” - because we are. This is just me and two of my best girls in our environment. I would rather focus on that than anything else.
I used to dive out of photos to avoid being captured and I fully regret that now. In most photos from high school that my friends and I used to take, I can look at one, point off into the void where there is no more photo and say “I was over there!”
No more hiding and no more editing, my body and face and appearance are what they are, so best to specify. I am fat. I am awkward. This is how I look.
And right now, I feel pretty good about all of that.
:x
Went on a bit of a tangent, but thank you so much for contributing. As soon as I read your message I thought “I’m about to talk all over the shop” - you got my brain buzzin! <3
Asked bird-ghosts
can’t feel down about myself sometimes. and that’s the problem. it sometimes feels like i cannot belong because i have it a lot better than others. then i have to remind myself that being privileged doesn’t take my right to struggle with negative body image away. at least i hope so.
——
Yes yes yes yes yes, precisely.
newbody4me asked redefiningbodyimage:
(This turned into a bit of a rant, so I decided to make it an actual post.)
I do not identify with fitspo messaging at all, nor do I think it’s universally helpful in finding peace, love, and acceptance in oneself both internally and externally. I have written and discussed this and arthlete’s work in the past, but I will elaborate.
Much of the artwork featured on that blog holds a body image ideal up on a pedestal, suggesting that certain body types are more healthy and fit, that we should aspire to reach this predetermined level of health and fitness, when not everyone has the privilege to center their thoughts, time, and energy around sculpting their bodies in this way. Not everyone will get those results. Not everyone finds that shit helpful.
For instance, exhibit #1:
This, from my perspective, is simply an unhealthy way of thinking about fitness. I say this based on my own personal experience, which many people have related to. It may be helpful to some people, but I actually find it very harmful - in fact, I find it contradicts this piece entirely.
When I look at that first image and read the associated words, I don’t perceive it as positive or helpful or motivational - it does nothing for those of us with mental or chronic health issues, who struggle some days to get out of bed let alone go to the gym. In fact, it makes us feel like the girl in the second comic - inadequate, like we’re doing everything wrong, because we can’t just “talk ourselves into it” - we have other shit to deal with.
I just can not look at it in those terms, I can not afford to maintain any sort of weight loss mentality, it’s like beating my head against a brick wall. I used to do that, and the guilt would be overpowering to a point where I couldn’t get out of this cycle of hating myself, before I realized that it’s not about that.
It’s about knowing and realizing what health and fitness means to me, personally, and separating that definition from this pristine level of health that is so often pushed in our faces.Just because my level of health and fitness doesn’t involve lifting weights or working out on a consistent basis doesn’t make me inadequate. It doesn’t mean I’m talking myself out of anything. I’m just doing the best with what I’ve got.
These are the stories that need to be told. This is the kind of messaging that needs to be spread - that all bodies are good bodies, health does not have one definition, and fitness looks different for everyone.
This:
…along with a lot of other similar body and health-shaming content that floats around the internet, passed along by blogs like arthlete, is what I aim to combat.
When I see shit like that, it triggers all of this intense hatred I had for my body in the past, when I would work and work and work to try to lose the weight and it never happened. It triggers the intense anxiety I feel as a person who has a really complex relationship with my weight, my fitness, my mental health, my everything. It pits one body type against another. It is so, so harmful and body-shaming and horrible to me.
If this sort of thing is helpful to you, that is fine - I can not speak for you. But it needs to be acknowledged there are different sides to this shit. That’s all.
I hope my ask made sense. I can’t teach someone about something I’ve never experienced and at the moment don’t experience.
You make perfect sense. You made better sense of that than I could, though to be honest my brain is a pile of mushy half-thoughts today.
For real though, I think what really becomes agitating is that Laci Green is skyrocketing and saying a lot of great and valid things about fat shaming and health and fat experiences, and I’m so happy about that.
But it would be nice if she would at least acknowledge her privilege. Maybe she has? I’ll need to take a more extensive look at her blog, but either way, it does often feel as if she is fighting “FOR” and not “WITH”, as you so eloquently put it.
You can’t teach someone about something you’ve never experienced.
I am still learning about allyship - being an ally to the LGBTQ community, to people of color, to fatties…I am still learning about these things. Allyship and privilege are complex things to wrap your brain around.
I remember when I first came across the terms on Tumblr a couple years ago, I had no idea where to begin to learn, and here I am today appearing to make a decent go at it. I never studied these things in school. I don’t have a degree that says I know what I’m talking about. But I can listen and learn and we can all be in it together.
Thank you for your words.
<3
Asked happyonaccident
Okay, but your definition of “healthy” is not the same as my definition. Health is not virtuous. Health and fitness means different things to different people. Either way, my health is none of your concern. Your health is none of my concern. Nothing good ever came from shaming the health and lifestyle choices of others, so you should really fucking stop.
I love my body and take care of it the best way I know how and I will NEVER let anyone else dictate that for me ever again. I’ve been down that path of trying to please other people before pleasing myself. It never ends well.
So honestly, your concern isn’t appreciated. You may want to consider keeping your comments to yourself, as they can be incredibly damaging and unhelpful, especially to those trying to focus on their mental health rather than their physical health and feel defeated for not being able to focus on anything but improving their mental illness.
Especially to those who are fat, have always been fat, and no amount of diet or exercise has ever resulted in weight loss, making them feel unrewarded for their efforts in trying to live a healthy lifestyle.
Especially to those living with disabilities or chronic illnesses that make it very hard for them to live up to this pristine level of health that is so expected out of our health-obsessed society.
Especially to those who honestly just don’t give a fuck whether or not you want to celebrate their body or lifestyle, because it’s not about YOU - it’s about them. It’s about doing what’s right for yourself. It’s about realizing that you know your body better than anyone else’s, because what you see on the outside says absolutely NOTHING about my health or habits. It’s just a fucking body. You can not claim to assess my fucking health based on my body. It’s not that fucking simple.
Health is possible at every size. Healthy bodies are thin, fat and inbetween. Unhealthy bodies are also represented in these sizes. In other words, being overweight means absolutely fuck-all in the overall scheme of things, so you may want to reconsider the way you think about health.
I encourage you to check out my Big Fat List of Resources and learn something about how little weight has to do with health.
Cheers.