WHAT WE'RE ABOUT
We are constantly redefining our own perspectives, and therefore tend to write a lot about our personal experiences. Many followers and contributors are living with anorexia, bulimia, body dysmorphic disorder, depression, and a variety of other body image disorders or mental illnesses, so please be respectful and remember that health applies differently to everyone. Any and all potentially triggering content will be prefaced with a trigger warning.
RBI supports all races, genders, classes, and sizes. We try our best to make this a safe space for everyone. If we are not doing our job or checking our privilege, we invite you to please inform us.
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We are not health professionals. Any and all advice provided on this blog is supported only by our own research, studies, and personal experiences; nothing more.
This blog is part of the Safe Space Network.
Asked Anonymous
Referring to a previous post
Really, the message I got from that piece was “I’d rather be Fat than Crazy” which is an unhealthy attitude all around.
I think the article is written in the tone of most in our culture, one where ‘fat’ is a dirty word and mental illness is shameful and ultimately undesirable. It’s about one woman’s choice to treat her crippling depression and psychosis with a drug that is known to increase appetite and cause nearly irreversible weight gain.
Even the title of the essay “Killing My Body to Save My Mind” intimates that adding extra weight to her body is deadly and THE WORST THING that could happen to a person. It’s clear this is the writers opinion, and as a very tiny woman (She states she is only 5ft tall and weighed 100lbs) an 80lb weight gain is drastic, and probably feels deadly to her.
The writer repeatedly frames her decision to treat her mental illness as “sacrificing” her body to save her mind, describes the process as a physical “breakdown” “I can feel myself living at the cusp of some physical mishap, perhaps even disaster.” When really what she is describing is her metabolism slowing to a point where she must make conscious decisions and great effort to “stabilize” her weight.
This poor woman is deeply disconnected with her body because she gained weight in the course of treatment. She describes her body as ”offending, unfamiliar carcass” “lipidinous tyrant” “the carcass I’ve had to disown” and does not seek to reframe “healthy” to include extra weight on her body in exchange for peace in her mind.
As a person whose chosen treatment with many different medications that cause weight gain, I can say that gaining weight does not necessarily equate with poorer health or health problems in general. In fact, drastic weight gain or loss are considered among my symptoms and side effects, since my diet is stable and my physical exertion level is constant. I accept that my body looks and moves differently depending on it’s size, but that size has no bearing it’s level of health.
Not only is the article fat shaming, it’s posing a false dilemma by equating only the physical with overall “Health”, and removing emotional/mental components.
Asked Anonymous
TW: SELF HARM
I’m afraid I don’t have any sources at hand - What would do you most good would be some form of help or counseling, especially if you are hurting yourself. Talk to your doctor. Start looking into local offices, clinics, etc. that can help with anxiety-related or compulsive habits.
And please, don’t be embarrassed! It’s wonderful that you are reaching out and looking for help. This shit exists, there is no reason to be ashamed of it. My own compulsive habits often breech that line, past the point of harmless skin-picking and into the territory in which I end up inadvertently harming myself. I’ve been going to therapy weekly for the past couple of months and can attest to the world of difference it can make if you find good help.
I know I wasn’t able to give you much information, but let me know if there’s anything else I can do. <3
Asked Anonymous
Um, yes - but bras do not prevent the saggage. A bra will lift your ta-ta’s temporarily (obviously) but will not help your boobs defy gravity.
Asked Anonymous
Total fuckery. Tits do what they want.
Asked Anonymous
If we’re going to play this game, I actually said “he is pretty much widely regarded” as being sexist, so…Suck my butt.
I’ve been reading a tonne of shit lately and from what I have gathered, a lot of feminists have a lot of critical things to say (as well as proof to back it up) regarding his sexist nature.
So, I dunno, go ahead and keep defending his “rep” - I don’t really give a fuck. I enjoy the man’s work, but from where I’m sitting it seems he can be kind of a fuckwad, and I don’t mind acknowledging or being aware of it.
Asked Anonymous
It is really impressive when something like that explodes. It makes me hopeful for good things. I’ve been following her on Facebook and she’s absolutely lovely.
Asked Anonymous
Cellulite exists on all different types and body sizes. 90% of all women have some amount of cellulite on their bodies. Srsly. It’s just a thing.
I used to hate it too, but I sort of realized the only reason I hated it so much is because I thought I was supposed to. Same applies to stretch marks.
I can’t tell you how to not care about it, but once you inform yourself about it maybe that will help? I don’t know :c
In the grand scheme of things, you really have no control over it and it’s not going anywhere. It is dictated by genetics, gender, and hormones. Creams and ointments won’t make it go away (seriously, they can claim they will all they want, but they won’t), there is no way to “target” it with work-outs and weight loss techniques…It is persistent, so best determine a way to live with it.
Asked Anonymous
To be perfectly honest, I don’t know how to tell you how to “work out” and stay sane. I am trying to figure out the same for myself and I’ve written about it before (many times actually) but I really don’t know.
I know that I stopped thinking about it as exercise. I don’t move my body for anyone other than myself. I don’t keep track of my weight. I move to incite mental stability and wellbeing, not aesthetic beauty.
I am active in ways that are not related to typical exercise. I reject any and all notions of what it means to be fit because I can’t afford to define health and fitness for myself the way most people can without it actually causing damage to my health rather than improving it.
So I move my body in weird ways that most people wouldn’t think about as exercise, like half-made-up pilates/yoga and dancing and stretching that only happens when I’m alone in my room. Focusing on my muscles for a while and testing them. Solitary methods of movement and concentration. I also believe that not moving and learning various breathing techniques and meditation is equally as important as being active.
I’ve basically stopped comparing my level of health and fitness to others and live by my own standards and am active whenever the fuck I feel like it.
That is how I stay sane, but it isn’t foolproof and doesn’t always work and sometimes I get triggered into backtracking, so I don’t know really.
Asked Anonymous
Asked Anonymous
This one! If you check the skin tags, you’ll see I post about it quite often.
But I’ll assume you’re looking for skin only, so I will point you to:
Asked Anonymous
Asked Anonymous
I would suggest you read the great Kate Harding’s words on the subject:
http://kateharding.net/faq/but-dont-you-realize-fat-is-unhealthy/
She has laid it out much better than I could ever hope to.
There are also a ton of resources in the link on the side panel of the blog:
http://redefiningbodyimage.tumblr.com/post/17770763679/big-fat-list-of-myth-defying-health-resources
And take a peek through the health and resources tags for good measure!
I will be making some changes around here to make this kind of info more accessible (like an FAQ, more organized and detailed links page, etc.) but I do tag everything like a maniac - this blog has turned into an arsenal for my own learning process on everything, including fat health.
The best way to know how to come back at anyone in these arguments is to educate yourself on the subject as much as possible, assess the situation and relationship you’re trying to introduce this kind of dialogue into, and formulate a way to respond in your own way. When all is said and done, you will know the best way to go about it.
Know that your friends may not agree with you or find it hard to swallow, so go into it positively - but prepare for a possible negative reaction by knowing that some people need time to understand. Hell, some people will stare cold, hard facts in the face and refuse to acknowledge them. But you see the facts, you know what’s up, and that’s what’s most important. For you.
Asked Anonymous
fat + bikini = fatkini
Asked Anonymous
I wonder how true this is for people of other religions. Probably lots. There are assholes everywhere - it is unfair that they come to the forefront as identifiers for entire groups of people, but so it goes.
