TW: self body hate
I hate my belly. I’m so ashamed of it. Even my mom says I’m disgusting. I want to love it, love me even though I may not be considered “beautiful” I want to love myself. Just sometimes I don’t know how. I just feel so sad sometimes and then I feel guilty for being so shallow. This is just not how pretty looks like, but I shouldn’t care. So, why do I care?
[I’ve tried to stop commenting on every submission because so many have been coming in that it would be impossible, but I need to!]
What I see when I look at your belly is strength and resilience, complete and utter beauty. And I know that I am not the only one.
I also know that the words of our parents can be biting. I don’t know your circumstances, I don’t know your mother, but I do know that she is very, very, very wrong and you do not deserve to be subjected to that kind of hate.
Your body, those marks, that bellybutton, that stomach - they are completely yours. No one else’s.
You don’t owe self-love and acceptance to anyone but yourself and it is an ever-changing ever-growing thing.
It is hard to comprehend that, when everything feels so external - with all the hate and shame in your life ready and waiting to knock you down.
The guilt you feel for what you think is shallowness could actually be descendent from the way your mother has acted towards others or treated you regarding body image/fatness/beauty. You take those things in and soak them up because she brought you into this world and raised you. But she is not imperfect.
You have the power to change your perception. Keep exploring, writing, interacting, understanding, and reaching out. Take more photos of your belly and any other parts you feel strongly about. Study them and consider where those feelings come from, trace them back to their roots - and consider how much of it was learned through the thoughts and actions and words of others. From the media, entertainment, our parents, society at large - we let all these external things dicate the way we feel about OURSELVES.
And it breaks my fucking heart. It truly does.
I hope you will come to see the beauty that I see in a simple series of pictures and blurb of words. If I can see all that from so little, imagine what might happen if you spent some time with and truly got to know yourself, apart from those outside voices. Just yours.