When thinner people (especially people I love) tell me I ‘don’t look fat’ I get really upset.
Because aside from the fact that it is a HUGE part of my recovery to see and love myself and my body as fat - not curvy, not chubby, not thick, FAT - it’s also reaffirming that this person thinks of fat as an abstract concept, in the most harmful way, as what it isn’t.
It is telling me that you think fat people = unfashionable, lazy, gross, smelly, unkempt, ugly, un sexy.
You cannot be a fat person and not be those things, is what I hear.
I am a fat person.
I am counted as obese by the medical industry.
I weigh 225lbs at least, and stand at 5”9.
I am a dress size 16-20 depending on the store, on average a size 18.
But I am also not all of those things (quite lazy and smelly sometimes but hey)
When people tell me “but you don’t look like a size 18” ALL I am hearing is “you don’t LOOK like my preconceptions of what size 18s are MEANT to look like” and we all know what those preconceptions are, because we are all made to internalise them regardless of our own body type.
If someone is standing in front of you and they tell you they are dress size X, then THAT DRESS SIZE IS WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE.
PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Can well meaning thin people stop saying this to us?
It is NOT a compliment.
And the fact that you think it is one is one big fat problem.
QUIT IT BEFORE I EAT EVERYTHING YOU LOVE.