I can actually completely relate to this.
Right as I had begun to fully accept myself and love my body and become a totally confident, awesome babe, I began losing weight. Because of reasons that I really don’t like to talk about because they are personal and it’s a long story and BLARGH. But yes. This has also happened to me.
Just when I got comfortable with self identifying as a beautiful fat lady, my body decided to lose some weight and now, I can’t claim that identity anymore. And it super sucks. And right now I am kind of in the middle of a massive identity crisis where I just don’t know how to identify.
Furthermore, right as this was happening, I finally was starting to go out on dates. Now, I don’t know (because I’m not about to go back and interview these guys) if these guys were interested in me because I was so confident, because I wasn’t afraid to put myself out there, or because of my new, more slender body. And it freaks me out not knowing.
I have a boyfriend now. He’s being really amazing about all of this as I go through it all and try to figure everything out. He’s super skinny, which comes with it’s own set of baggage, and we’re helping each other out a lot. Last night he sent me this. I don’t think he realized how much of an impact it would make on me, how it would make me cry and eventually decide that maybe I didn’t need to label my body. That it is mine and I should love it just as much as someone else does and I shouldn’t get caught up in this one aspect of my identity.
So maybe one day I will revisit that aspect of my identity. But for right now, I’ve decided that I need to love my new body just as much as my old one, and not read too much into things. After all it isn’t it’s fault.