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Asked Anonymous
I’d not call myself an expert on sex or relationship-related things, but I can tell you that I’ve gone through periods myself where sex just doesn’t become a priority or even enters my mind, and that is totally normal. I don’t doubt it much.
I also have a very much unique situation with my partner (LDR) in that we are not physically together for months at a time, then come together and kind of fall back into old patterns and ways of existing. But I’ve never felt we had to over-compensate for the times we were finally together by fucking little rabbits for 2-4 weeks straight. I mean, that has certainly been the case for some visits, wherein our pelvic-regions and hormones and all other things feel persistently on fire…But there have also been times where I wasn’t feel well, or feeling into it, or my medication for anxiety/depression ends up putting a heavy damper on my sex drive.
It is weird and kind of scary - especially if you’ve previously been quite a sexual person, now unsure what to do with this sudden apathy. But I promise you - it happens, it is normal, and it is nothing to worry about or blame yourself over.
I am lucky in that I speak very, very openly with my partner - about EVERYTHING. We understand one another on a very intimate level. If I’m not into sexy things, he understands and backs off, no questions asked - because we talk it through until we reach a level of understanding, and he respects my space, my thoughts, and my feelings.
So talk to your boy about it, explain how you feel, what you’re wondering.
I am a strong believer in honesty and communication being the ultimate base from which a “real relationship” can work. One’s sexual capabilities and drive can certainly factor into how a relationship functions and it may or may not complicate things if one partner is more unreasonable about it than another, but as long as you speak openly and honestly about your feelings and your boy reciprocates respectfully - There is every possible opportunity for growth and positivity.
He may be the type to take it personally, or interpret your feelings as passivity and a slight against his “manhood”. I don’t know enough about your relationship to know how he may or may not respond.
Just know that no matter what his response, YOU ARE NOT IN THE WRONG. Your thoughts and feelings are valid. You’re allowed to not want to have sex. Do not allow anyone to pressure you into anything. Trust in yourself.
