[TW: SELF BODY HATE & DEPRESSION]
I feel this right now. You ranted at me yesterday, I rant at you today. I wonder how you feel today.
Today, my stomach is fucked, and it has been all day. Something on my body is always fucked, every single day - and not in the fun sexy way. Yesterday it was my scalp, today it’s my stomach, tomorrow maybe a migraine or debilitating mental state, who the fuck knows.
Right now I am very angry with my body. I have stopped saying that I hate it and have decided I am simply very fucking angry with it.
It’s okay though, because yesterday I was pretty content. I’m alright with the anger, because it passes.
Now I’m less angry and more willing to be distracted, so maybe I’ll curl up in a ball and watch Downton Abbey.
I so know how it is to feel hopeless. It is an odd thing to think about for me right now, because I’d rather my mind not go into that place and slip away as it does so easily, but my heart is sending its feelers out for you. I think you’re really lovely and you sound like me.
Use those little muscles and try to twitch the corners of your lips up into a smile, just for no reason. Sometimes when I smile at myself, I find a reason to break through the hopelessness.