Wylie and I were swimming around having a good time when I noticed two girls behind us. Those girls were super slim, very attractive, beer cans in hand, taking pictures of themselves and laughing and having a good time.
I was trying to ignore them once they turned the camera around and thought my body was a photo-op. I didn’t tell Wylie until it was over and it ruined our day only for a little bit. Yesterday while we were swimming, without a ring, without any intention of asking, he asked me. I said yes. And we were enjoying the moment. Then these girls started taking pictures of my body. I’m amazed that they thought they had the right to take pictures of my body, like I’m some sort of lake monster.
Nope, just a fat person swimming. So fuck all of you who feel like my body is anything to create a spectacle of. I would never in a million years shame another body type, why do I constantly get the hate? My thin partner understands thin privilege and recognizes all of the extra I have to go through just to live my life in a fat body.
I have the perfect story about this: A couple of nights ago I was having some severe abdominal pain and I don’t have a GP here in Oregon yet… So my first thought was to go to the ER. I’m laying in the hospital bed literally crying and the doctor doesn’t believe anything is wrong. I tell him of my PCOS and he comments on how that’s not very common and if the cyst were torsed [which is the only case in which having PCOS is deemed emergent] I would be writhing in pain, on the verge of passing out, etc. I told him I knew that and that this cyst was very painful and then he started to rub my stomach to feel for pressure points. If you would have seen the look on his face as he forced himself to touch me, you would have punched him in the face. My fat body disgusted him and he did the minimum of what he had to do because I am fat.
Tell me that isn’t thin privilege? Tell me I should lose weight? I’ll tell you I can’t because of my thyroid. Although that’s the least of your concern. You don’t understand fat people have health problems that weren’t created by their weight.
Basically I’m ranting and still fuming about both of these experiences. But. I’m engaged. That’s awesome. Everybody can just suck on that one.
Our thin body and our fat body are going to be together forever. You’ll have to gawk and stare at us when we’re old and gray. You’ll have to accept that as a fat person I deserve love too. I deserve love too.