Hey, I’ve been following your blog for a while now and having been ‘fat’ in the past I think it is important to promote acceptance for all shapes and sizes. This said, I think when any single group stands out from the crowd and starts saying how it suffers most, the other groups react poorly. The facts of body image are simple, the majority of people are unhappy with their appearance for various reasons and shaming anyone for their appearance is wrong.

Sadly it seems to me most of what I see is focused on the negative which I think makes the task at hand more difficult.

I was bullied badly at school for various reasons and I’ve suffered with eating problems and mental illness too but as I grew up I realised that bullies will pick on anything different and that in order to promote healthy body image is to have one ourselves by loving ourselves regardless of opinions… not by ranting about other people.

I accept that everyone is entitled to their opinion but I think you get more flies with honey than vinegar.

The first step to changing things is to accept what cannot be changed. There will always be cruel people and sadly it is basic human instinct to judge from way back when we all had our tribes. It is a survival instinct that takes great effort to overcome for some and less for others. To get around this is to just nod and smile, recognise their opinion and continue with our own.

I was fat. I lost weight. I still have days where I hate myself. I still have days when I feel fat. I still pick flaws in my appearance and know deep down they are unchangeable. I know I was influenced badly as a child to want to be skinny and still it changes nothing.

No one has the right to make you feel bad about yourself but I found that by not focusing on the negative, the bad opinions rarely get to me.

I’m sorry if this offends anyone, I’m just one of those annoying people who has ‘found the light’ through recognition of myself.

P.S. every person in the world has thought themselves to be imperfect for one reason of the other, so tell someone they’re beautiful when you think they are and try to focus on the good, even when it’s pouring.

Prepare for fuckery, i don’t even know.

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I’ve read this about three times now and I don’t even know what’s going on.

This said, I think when any single group stands out from the crowd and starts saying how it suffers most, the other groups react poorly.

Are you referring to the discussion of thin privilege? Because if you looked through the privilege and thin privilege tags on this blog, you’d know what those types of discussions are really about - It’s not about blame-gaming.

The facts of body image are simple, the majority of people are unhappy with their appearance for various reasons and shaming anyone for their appearance is wrong.

Correct.

Sadly it seems to me most of what I see is focused on the negative which I think makes the task at hand more difficult.

Who is focusing on the negative? What? People feel things. There is a spectrum of emotions going on here. Sometimes they are negative. Those feelings and voices deserve to have a place to be heard, regardless of how much you may want to coat everything in glitter and rainbows.

…I realised that bullies will pick on anything different and that in order to promote healthy body image is to have one ourselves by loving ourselves regardless of opinions… not by ranting about other people.

Good for you. But it appears to me you’re ranting about how other people are dealing with oppression, right here and now, because it differs from how you dealt with it. Which would mean you are ranting about other people. Right now. And telling people not to rant about other people at the same time. Logic-failing.

I accept that everyone is entitled to their opinion but I think you get more flies with honey than vinegar.

We keep things sweet and sour around here, best of both worlds.

Again - this is reality. People get angry. They face bullshit and want to rage about it, so they do it on the fucking internet. This is not a new concept. And if you’ve been following this blog “for a while now” then have you not seen the bountiful stream of positive messaging, design, and photography that streams through here on a constant basis?

The first step to changing things is to accept what cannot be changed.

Who is anyone to say what can or can not be changed?

No one has the right to make you feel bad about yourself but I found that by not focusing on the negative, the bad opinions rarely get to me.

Good on you for not “focusing on the negative” - sometimes that’s hard to do when you’re being beat over the head with it due to mental illness, overpowering people and media outlets, and forces out of one’s control. But it seems you’ve found a way to combat all of that by just willing negativity into non-existence, so I’m really impressed, to be honest.

every person in the world has thought themselves to be imperfect for one reason of the other, so tell someone they’re beautiful when you think they are and try to focus on the good, even when it’s pouring.

Yep, that’s pretty much what most people strive to do.

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Well, that was fun?