Stuff like this frustrates the shit out of me. Stuff like this blames people for the relationship they have with their body and not society for the way it teaches people to feel. I want people to have a good connection with their bodies that means allowing them to have a space where they are not only free from weight loss talk but are also allowed to have bad days, to discuss their thoughts about their bodies as they work through them and to support people regardless of how they are feeling.
Having a bad day isn’t a fucking excuse it’s a mother fucking reality.
My gurl sets it straight.
hear that, but i do like this sign. a huge part of my being able to work thru my own body image issues is being able to establish an environment where negative self talk is not the norm. when i’m in an environment where bad self talk (however authentic its origins are in a person’s feelings atm) surrounds me, I’m much more likely to start down that negative path myself. i think actually not dwelling on bad feelings is a first step in setting new, positive experiences of being in one’s body. there’s a balance between allowing people to work thru shitty messages they’ve internalized and setting standards for new spaces/places/feelings apart from those messages.
And honestly, does nobody on the internet have the ability to keep the thoughts in their head from COMING OUT OF THEIR MOUTHS anymore? I mean, beyond the very important argument that these thoughts become habits and indulging in negative self-talk (and demanding the right to indulge in negative self-talk) isn’t actually good for people. I just really don’t feel like I want to hear, for example, someone who weighs 150 pounds less than I weigh blather on about how fat she feels or how big her tummy is or whatever. And it’s not ~shaming~ for me to say so.
All of these are completely and utterly valid points to make. That said people need to make a distinction between people who partake in negative self talk and people who are working through negative thoughts about their body. Not wanting to be around it is one thing, telling someone that their body image issues or negative feelings about their bodies are an excuse is bullshit. This has nothing to do with people who are heavily invested in body shaming themselves or other people, this has EVERYTHING to do with people who feel like being fat positive or body positive means that they are never allowed to have bad days.
People being shamed for the fact that having a good relationship with their body is a fluid space to take up is bullshit. It is something that must be continually worked on and no one can just turn off negative thoughts. Ignoring that people are faced with millions of messages that tell them their bodies are wrong by shaming them for those messages actually working is blaming them for being a victim of those messages. I know too many people who feel like they cannot be part of fat positive spaces because of this kind of thinking and it needs to stop.
YES. Someone just sent me a message today asking me if they were a body-positive hypocrite for harboring bad thoughts about their body. NOT AT ALL!!! I promise.