Poor self-esteem is a hard thing to dissolve, but so many things contribute to it. It’s so personal, deeply embedded and unique to every individual.
Some women feel they need a man to tell them they’re beautiful before they start to believe it. Some women will go to great lengths to attract that kind of attention and feed the loop, when in truth your confidence remains the same, and in most instances is weakened due to the dependence you have on others to tell you that you’re beautiful.
No one loves their body all the time. My first step toward loving my body came with accepting and owning my defining features, educating myself on how/why women are portrayed the way they are in visual culture, realizing where this self-hatred was coming from and killing it at the source.
I did this by looking at photos of women of similar build and body type to myself. I stopped comparing myself to women in the media. I stopped comparing myself to anyone else, period.
I realized that if I could find beauty in the bodies of women similar to me, what was stopping me from finding that same beauty in myself?
I have days where I dislike my body just like anyone else, but I don’t blame myself. Temporary dislike is natural, intense hatred is fueled by outside factors.
Looking back at some old shit when I first started this blog (circa Jan 2011) and was starting to work out my place and how I felt about myself. I’ve learned so much but this pretty much still sums up how I feel. I’ve just expanded on it. A lot.
I feel like I’m finding beauty in everything around me. My sister grabs her tummy in her hands, frustrated with the wrinkled and loose skin from rapid weight loss, and the first words out of my mouth are “what? that is so lovely!”
“No way, I fucking hate it.”
“But I think it’s beautiful.”
I really truly fucking do find beauty in every single body I see, and I don’t quite know exactly when that started happening, but I know this blog and all of you are driving it.
Not to mention everything else I’ve learned and collected and passed on here has been so invaluable.
It’s been a good time :3