TW: Weight-loss related discussion
“But I digress - if you are making a vested effort into trying to lose weight, then how can you claim to love your body as it is? Aren’t you still trying to attain some other, newer, possibly unattainable kind of beauty ideal? Where did that ideal come from? What is the fucking point? Why does weight loss need to be a goal at all?”
I am here to answer your questions through personal experience/opinion. For me, when I say I love my body, that means that I appreciate it, I love what it does for me, and that is why I want it to be the best it can be. I made a conscious decision to get rid of fat and gain muscle because I know that’s what it takes to get my body in top-performance, and that’s what I want for me.
To me, being more fit is my idea of outer, physical “beauty,” but it may not be to others. The key for me is learning the difference between what I can and can’t control. I can’t control other people’s perspective, and I can’t control the shape or height or fat content of my body right now, and I can’t control the past. Then comes acceptance, and once you accept what you can’t change, you’ll find that you’ll have more confidence in yourself. Not just your body, but yourself as a person.
Just because you love something, doesn’t mean you have to like it. For example, do you have a sibling? I’ll bet there were times you didn’t like them very much, but there was always unconditional love. The difference between your body and siblings, however, is that you can’t change your siblings, but you can change your body. You can change your fitness level to reach your own “ideal body.”
The trick to knowing your own “ideal body”, however, is knowing what is attainable and what isn’t, and accepting the fact that what you want may not be what you’re going to get. For example, if you’re like me and have broad shoulders and big hips, you’re not going to get that tiny, petite frame just by working out because it’s impossible. Accepting what is and isn’t possible for your body, and knowing what expectations are/aren’t realistic will help you be much more happier during your fitness journey. Your “ideal” body comes from yourself. Having proper body image is the most difficult but most crucial part of self-improvement. Remember that only you can tell you what is and isn’t beautiful.
Once you stop listening to everybody else and start listening to yourself, that’s where you’ll find that true self-acceptance and, consequently, self-love starts. In this, you’ll find the balance between losing weight and loving your body.
I know your questions were supposed to be rhetorical and just to prove a point, but I couldn’t help it (:
Stay healthy, strong, and beautiful!
Just to respond:
I’m actually really happy you answered my rhetorical questions and/or applied them to your personal experiences. I only have my perspective to work with here, so the more input the merrier.
I’m happy to know you’ve found a way to love your body that works for you.
Personally, I don’t want to have an “ideal body” - I just want to be happy and healthy. I want to remove weight loss from the picture entirely and focus just on what feels right. So that’s what I’m doing, in my own way. My body ideal is not grounded in physicality, it’s grounded in mental health and wellness because that is what I need to concentrate on in order to find happiness and contentment.
Seriously I never intended to talk this much about my mental health on this blog, but once you have to deal with it on a daily basis, it changes your entire perspective on everything. And based on some of the messages I’ve been getting, I’ve discovered it makes it twice as hard for other people to empathize.
Anyway, thank you again. This community has been a whirlwind of words lately. I love it, but it is truly exhausting.