March 2012
Stop Hating Your Body: A story from a survivor of weight loss surgery. (trigger warning, diet talk, body shaming, weight loss surgery, etc.) →
stophatingyourbody.tumblr.com
One of my followers, bigmamalebanon, had weight loss surgery and lived to tell the tale.
She asked if she could submit her story to me to hopefully help people understand that bariatric surgery isn’t the miracle cure or the success story that so many like to believe. And…
A long, brutally honest, worthwhile read on one woman’s experience with weight loss surgery.
My friend has an amazing new blog for bellies and babes
likethefeathersofathunderbird:
SUBMIT your belly and I’ll love you forever :)
Hey, do it!
IF YOU VALUE OUR RELATIONSHIP AND YOU LOVE ME YOU’LL SUBMIT AND FOLLOW
submitted and signal boostin
Be Calm.: I really only have one complaint about “fatshion”.You can be fat and…
I really only have one complaint about “fatshion”.
You can be fat and still be beautiful.
You can be fat and still be fashionable.
You can be fat and still look fantastic.But don’t wear things that accentuate and show off your fat on purpose.
It’s just disgusting. And this is coming from a…Sorry, who put you in charge of what other people should and shouldn’t wear?
The only thing that is disgusting is your shitty, damaging attitude. Saying someone’s body/bodyparts are wrong is so fucked up, you’re contributing to making fat people feel shit about themselves. Congrats if that’s what your aim was.
Your opinion isn’t even unpopular, society in general tells fat people all the time to cover up their bodies and wear clothes to flatter them, that their bodies have wrong parts, problem areas etc. So you really should have tagged this as ‘popular opinion’.
And if you don’t like skin tight dresses, don’t wear them. Don’t like them on other people? No one’s forcing you to look. Concentrate on wearing clothes you feel comfortable in and stop putting people down for doing the same.
Reblogging for A+ commentary.
FUCK FLATTERING. Wear everything you’ve ever wanted to wear because you can and your body deserves to be decorated any way you like. Fuck the haters.
“The tabloids complain about [Madonna] looking old, and people laugh at her for that. Then Madonna goes and fixes her face, and they laugh at her for that. Even thought they begrudgingly say she looks amazing, they’ll still laugh at her for trying to look young. Then she steps out, looking amazing, and the tabloids go and blow up a picture of her aging hand. Nobody’s doing that to George Clooney, blowing up pictures of his hands! I look at these magazines, and I want to say to them, What’s your point? That she’s aged? Does that surprise you? Or is your ‘point’ an attempt to undercut what she’s achieved? I think it is, even if it’s on a subconscious level. And you probably wouldn’t turn down those hands if they were grabbing you under the table, you fucking idiots.”
—Shirley Manson, Bullett Media Interview (via marxisforbros)
“
People tell me I do not ‘take care of myself.’ And they are, technically, right. I work too hard and too much. I strain my wrists and arms and I, like many writers, will probably develop a repetitive stress injury, could in fact injure myself so badly that I will not be able to continue to work. I can already see the warning signs in the stiffness of my fingers in the morning, the way sometimes I wake up with my hands balled and cannot uncurl them, the dull ache that lives between my elbows and wrists all the time, that twinge I get sometimes at the end of a long night of work. I don’t look after my mental health very well; I continue to expose myself to things that endanger me and make me ill. I don’t rest. I don’t know how to rest. I would agree that I don’t take care of myself.
But you don’t know any of these things by looking at me. You can’t see late nights of work and emotional fatigue when you see my fat body. What you see are rolls and curves and lumps and muffintops and whatever else you see, and you think that means you know that I don’t take care of myself. Because my body does not meet a social standard, it’s icky and gross. So I don’t ‘take care of myself’ and people can look down their noses at me and feel snobby, and lecture me on my diet and exercise habits.
They don’t care about my health. They don’t care whether I am happy, whether I enjoy my body, whether I like moving and living in my body. They care that they don’t like looking at me and wish that my body would go away, would shrink, would dwindle away so that it will no longer offend their eyes. This is what people mean when they ask me if I’m ‘taking care of myself,’ when they give me a sidelong glance while I eat a doughnut, when they scrutinise me if I start to wheeze on a hike, because of course, I must be wheezing because I am fat and out of shape, not because I have asthma.
‘Take care of yourself,’ they say, gesturing at my body.
‘Fuck you,’ I think.
” —On Taking Care of Your Body and Value Judgements | This Ain’t Livin’ (via curvesahead)
I can relate to this in so many ways.
It’s too hot to be self-conscious. Everyone get ready for the summer of nudity. Can you handle my body rolls?
God yes. Detroit summers automatically come with a promise to be stifling. Time to break out the hotpants, miniskirts and tank tops. Time to let my body breathe, jiggle and wiggle! WATCH OUT FOR MY BODY ROLLS.
The Hefty Hideaway: Yes. I love my fat body. →
theheftyhideaway.tumblr.com
So, my mom brought over the leopard print bodycon skirt I ordered from Forever21 recently and we went off to visit my aunt and grandma. They were out of the size I would normally get, so I got the size smaller… because shit. I love me a tight skirt. So, I tried it on for them and my aunt’s…
To PoC in the Fat Justice Movement
So there has been a lot of discussion surrounding this response to white fat activism from People of Color in the fat justice movement. I have only been a spectator in the midst of the uproar until now. Even before these discussions I have been quietly watching and learning, recognizing my privilege and understanding how I can make Redefining Body Image as inclusive as possible.
Marianne Kirby’s blog post on the topic has been monumentally helpful in explaining what I can do as a fat, white ally to people of color (as well as a cis-gendered, straight ally to trans/genderqueer individuals.)
Creating a project or atmosphere of any kind that is welcoming to people of color involves more than an invitation to participate. That’s the tiniest step you can take in getting people of color involved. What you actually have to do – and if you don’t know how, that’s again why google is so very useful – is make your project or atmosphere actually welcoming. You have to create a space that invites diverse people to participate without fear of ridicule or hatred. That is hard damned work. And I don’t think anyone is perfect at it.
The really great thing though is that no one is really expecting perfection. A genuine effort and a willingness to listen when we screw up is half the battle that we as fat white people trying to create diverse spaces have to fight. Screwing up is not the end of the world! It’s uncomfortable – we’re embarrassed and our feelings get hurt and we kind of flail around a little wishing no one had scolded us – but discomfort isn’t going to kill us. In fact, discomfort is a really great teacher, if we pay attention to it.
So I’d just like to take this opportunity to say, as founder and primary contributor to RBI, that I will try my best to make this space as inclusive to all races, genders, classes, and walks of life as possible. You have my support, my love, my admiration. And if I’m not doing something right, please let me know how and why so that I might check my privilege and learn how I can be more inclusive.
More from Marianne’s post:
There is a difference between saying a person of color is welcome to participate (and solve the diversity problem their own damn selves) and saying that it’s something that will be addressed. One is a deflection of responsibility – the other is an acknowledgement that it hasn’t happened yet but we want it to, we’re trying to make it happen.
I recognize that despite my best efforts, perhaps not all people will feel welcome or included in this space, and I open myself up to any and all criticism regarding this issue.
From this point forward I will be more active than ever before in seeking out those whose voices and backgrounds are different from my own. I will be dedicating my own time to improving the inclusivity of this blog, but do feel free to help guide me along the way. If you know of any body positive blogs dedicated to PoC/trans/genderqueer individuals, or possible contributors to RBI who might help diversify the content featured here, my submission page is ready and waiting!
WatchingWorldsBurn: "Weight does not dictate your health or your worth." →
mackattackinwonderland.tumblr.com
But…but it does dictate your health!
But…but it doesn’t!
It is possible to be fat and healthy.
I hope you’ll take the time to educate yourself on the subject.
Below I’ll be referring to individuals who are more than just…
Okay but you’re missing the point. I could try to refute these medical claims but it seems you won’t budge and I’d rather not waste the effort.
To quote Kate Harding:
“Poor nutrition and a sedentary lifestyle do cause health problems, in people of all sizes. This is why it’s so fucking crucial to separate the concept of “obesity” from “eating crap and not exercising.” The two are simply not synonymous — not even close — and it’s not only incredibly offensive but dangerous for thin people to keep pretending that they are. There are thin people who eat crap and don’t exercise — and are thus putting their health at risk — and there are fat people who treat their bodies very well but remain fat. Really truly.”
The point is, we need to stop assessing health based on size because it is not an accurate way of determining one’s health and making such snap judgements is harmful. Every body has the capability to be healthy or start a journey to wellness in the body they have now, and they should have the right to find the level of health they need without bringing their body size or anyone else’s expectations into the equation.
We all live and exist in the bodies we have whether we’re healthy or not, but you can’t make that assessment by simply looking at a person. Fat is in some cases an indicator of poor health, but so is being “too thin”, or looking green or something, or sometimes people look perfectly normal but are perfectly unhealthy.
Your weight doesn’t dictate anything about you, your health or your worth. You do.
Watching you reply to some of these posts is Sisyphean. But you've garnered my respect for trying :)
I wondered if someone would comment on that :)
Because it stems off of something I created and it’s a message I catapulted out there, I see the responses and I can’t ignore them. It’s at least worth a try! And in some cases I’ve actually managed to get people to listen and understand. I’ve also had some really great private discussions with people wherein I learn just as much as the person I’m hoping to influence. Interaction and discussion is in my nature, especially when it comes to things I care deeply about - I can’t help myself!
"Weight does not dictate your health or your worth."
But…but it does dictate your health!
But…but it doesn’t!
It is possible to be fat and healthy.
I hope you’ll take the time to educate yourself on the subject.
“Health does not dictate your health…” Actually, Health does dictate health. WEIGHT does not dictate health. Health = health. Weight =/= health.
Haaa yeah I coined the phrase/designed the poster and I can’t even get it right. That was a typo. But thanks, fixed it.
"Weight does not dictate your health or your worth."
But…but it does dictate your health!
But…but it doesn’t!
It is possible to be fat and healthy.
I hope you’ll take the time to educate yourself on the subject.
"Weight does not dictate your health or your worth."
I’m not sure how i feel about this poster… because technically weight does dictate your health. Hell i just found out my fat percentage is in the poor section of health but i have average weight… as for your worth… well that’s up to you i guess but health and weight kinda correlates….
It is possible to be fat and healthy. Just because your fat percentage is higher than normal does not automatically mean you are unhealthy - It just means you have more fat on your body. People of all shapes and sizes are capable of health, just as people of all shapes and sizes are capable of poor health. There are so many different ways to measure health. Weight is not the end-all-be-all in defining it.
It is impossible to asses a person’s health based on their body size. I am not just saying this. It’s actually true. Healthy fat people exist just as unhealthy skinny people exist. Bodies are bodies, they are all different, and each person has the right to maintain their own level of health and wellness that is right for them.
If you’d like to read some facts on the subject, I have a handy list of resources that you can find here.
I sincerely hope you’ll open your mind to new perspectives and consider the possibility that weight and health are not always connected.
"Weight does not dictate your health or your worth."
Actually, it does dictate your health.
Actually, no it doesn’t.
It is possible to be fat and healthy.
Please keep this in mind and avoid assessing a person’s health based on their body size.
If you’d like to read some facts on the subject, I have a handy list of resources that you can find here.
I sincerely hope you’ll open your mind to new perspectives and consider the possibility that weight and health are not always connected.
"Weight does not dictate your health or your worth."
TW: Weight loss fuckery.
No it dictates your wealth because fat people clothes cost a whole lot more. I know, I went from a size 24 to 12. Big ass pants to cover your big ass cost more to make.
Don’t lose weight to be like celebrities, lose weight to save your wallet.
Well THIS is a new one, not to mention an entirely fucked up way of assessing your body and your budget.
I honestly don’t even know how to reply to this.
I give up.
tidbits.
sometimes i feel like fat is not a beautiful enough word for how beautiful fat and fat bodies are.
not enough syllables or something…
for real though.
I thought of a new diet.
- Eat what you want.
- Punch anyone in the face if they insult you because of your weight.
must've stabbed her.: Fat Oppression, Thin Privilege, and Why My Fat Ass Is Leaving No Room For You In The Conversation. →
50fuckingtimes.tumblr.com
When it comes to feminism, I aim to acknowledge intersectionality and the fact that all people have lived experiences, even when they are privileged.
The trouble is, every now and then a thin person comes along and says “but one…
This reeks of truth and good things.
Body Image: The Danger Of A Single Body Ideal →
huffingtonpost.com
Recently, I came across a blog post by a personal trainer in which she explored one of my least favorite terms as applied to women’s bodies — the word “bulky.” Any weight-training woman is familiar with this term, as it is often the first thing other women will say as their reason for refusing to lift weights. The idea is that lifting weights will lead to the development of big muscles, and the development of big muscles means a woman will no longer be beautiful and will instead be manly, unattractive, scary and doomed to a sex-free, love-free life.
The comments on the blog post illustrated this line of thought clearly, as woman after woman expressed dismay that she had taken up heavy lifting and was horrified to see that her body had developed muscles. Some even clearly articulated their belief that in doing so, they had crossed a very bright line in which women were meant to be weaker and protected by the men they loved.
The women had set out in pursuit of the slender, compact body most often displayed by female celebrities, and instead they found themselves becoming muscular. It didn’t matter that they were also stronger and that they were most likely healthier, with tougher bones and a stronger heart. What mattered was that they were bigger.
As I read through those comments, I reflected on a TED talk given by writer Chimamanda Adichie (watch below) in which she spoke about the “danger of the single story.” She described growing up in Nigeria and yet writing stories in which her blonde-haired, blue-eyed characters ate apples and played in snow. Every book she had read was written by British authors about British life, and as a result she hadn’t realized it was possible to write books about her own life. She thought the only way to be worthy of literature was to be a foreigner.
I thought about her words and I realized that we as a culture had accepted the single story of the “ideal body” so thoroughly that no room remained for alternate definitions of female beauty. Take the comments on the aforementioned blog post. The “ideal female body” — a slim figure with breasts that aren’t too big and thighs that don’t touch and a butt that isn’t too flat and nothing that jiggles too much — is desired with such single-mindedness that the non-cosmetic benefits of weight training are dismissed without a second thought.
I use the example of women and muscles because that is what I, as an athletic woman who lifts weights, am most familiar with. However, the story of the single ideal body manifests itself in breast augmentation and pumping parties, in gimmicky diets and weight-loss gadgets bought on installment plans, in firming creams and treatments meant to zap cellulite into non-existence. Fortunes are spent and made in pursuit of the “ideal body,” and yet the only thing that has happened is that the ideal has become even more unattainable than ever before.
It’s not hard to see how this happened, either. Look at our culture, at the bodies represented on television and in magazines and in movies and in advertising. Just as Adichie only thought she could write stories about white children in snowy climates, we as a culture have trouble envisioning a standard of beauty that is not tall, thin, able-bodied and European. Even when we do embrace someone who does not fit that standard, we tend to be very self-congratulatory about it, thus undoing whatever progress was gained by reducing that person into little more than a symbol of our open-mindedness.
I don’t know about you, but I am tired of a world in which the only people who are considered beautiful have a specific body type, a specific kind of hair, a specific tone of skin, a specific shape of face. I find such a world inhumane and cruel, bordering on insane. Plus, as an aesthete who revels in beauty and sensation, I also find it dreadfully boring.
Consider the natural world, with all of its abundance of living things.Think about flowers. In my neighborhood in Florida, I can count the following: birds of paradise, hydrangea, plumeria, magnolia, jacaranda, orchids, Confederate jasmine, black-eyed Susans, coreopsis, spider lilies and dozens more whose names I don’t know.
Few of us would look at all of these flowers and say that, for instance, orchids are the only beautiful ones. Sure, we might have a preference, but most of us would not take our preferences to mean that all other flowers are ugly, and that we ought to rip rosebushes and tulip bulbs out of the ground so they can be replaced with even more orchids.
Yet this is what we do with our bodies — we say that all bodies that do not fit that single ideal are ugly, and that all bodies must fit that single ideal to be worthy of respect and care and affection. We say that if you cannot force yourself to fit that ideal, then you must hide yourself behind shapeless clothing and maybe even consider never leaving your house because you are too revolting to be seen.
How is it that we can so easily recognize beauty in all of its millions of manifestations in plants and animals, yet our definitions narrow radically when it comes to human beings? Why do we value diversity in all things but scorn it in ourselves?
It’s clear to me that the expectation that our bodies must be a certain way to be feminine and beautiful is an artificial one, one that is informed almost entirely by the culture in which we are raised. The bad news is that it is a powerful expectation, filled with privileges for those who conform and punishment for those who do not.
The good news is that we can resist it. We can resist by refusing to hate our bodies for the way they look. We can resist by catching ourselves when we think harshly about other people’s appearances. We can resist by refusing to judge other people based on their bodies. We can resist by calling out those who make those kinds of moral judgments about other people. We can resist by refusing to support media outlets who uphold such narrow beauty standards.
We need a radical redefinition of what it means to be beautiful in this society. We need to pry open the definition so it includes all bodies, whether they are tall or short or average or slender or fat or muscular or disabled. Enough with this idea that beauty must somehow be exclusionary, like it is this finite quality that loses its potency as more people gain access to it. Such a view of beauty is blind to the core, irreducible truth about us, which is that our existence is nothing short of a miracle.
We do not blight the world with our cellulite, nor do we somehow diminish it through our sagging flesh. The natural order is not upended by our muscles, nor does the universe gasp in horror when it sees our bellies. We are just as much a part of the brilliant multiplicity of the universe as the flowers and the birds and the stars in the sky. We are beautiful because we exist. We are beautiful because we are.
I found this to be a beautiful piece of writing.
: Fat Oppression, Thin Privilege, and Why My Fat Ass Is Leaving No Room For You In The Conversation.
When it comes to feminism, I aim to acknowledge intersectionality and the fact that all people have lived experiences, even when they are…
Do you really think I care about what someone on the internet thinks of me? I don’t give two shits about your pity.
I do agree with the whole media thing in some respect, but you must acknowledge that the majority of people do not find fat attractive. The media is comprised of what the majority wants, and what the majority wants is what the media wants it to want. Endless cycle of manipulation. Do I ever see a mainstream film with gay people in it that’s not about them being gay? No, for the same reasons you don’t see films with fat people in them.
The trans thing. It is unhealthy. Undergoing hormone replacement therapy, undergoing surgery, that’s not good for you. But the pros very much outweigh (ha) the cons for me, and that is why I’ve decided to transition. I don’t understand what benefits being fat has.
When did I ever say that I support fat-people-oppression? All I said was that it happens and you’ve gotta get used to it. It happens to everyone.
God, I wish I was more eloquent.
There are so many variables when it comes to situations like these, it’s almost impossible to say exactly what I mean.
How fat is fat? When I say fat, I mean someone who’s obese. How is obese ever healthy? And of course worth isn’t based on health, never said that. But why would you hurt yourself? It goes against all logic. I just dunno.
Thin doesn’t equal healthy and overweight doesn’t mean unhealthy. Thank you Captain Obvious. And again we come to the ever present question, how do you define fat? I personally think that most people look best with a extra meat on their bones, but I would not call them fat, but then others would. And then some people would call others fat that I find extremely skinny. If only fat was objective.
I am pissed off when I read posts like yours because you have this holier than thou attitude that is absolutely ridiculous. You are not better than me because you’re fat. Being fat does not make you a better person than me. You do not deserve respect because you’re fat. You deserve respect because you are a fucking human being.
Am I telling you to go lose weight? Am I saying that you should diet? No. I don’t care about you. All I’m saying is that you should quit your fucking whining.
If someone comes at you for being fat, fine; kick their ass, I’m behind you a hundred percent. But all this “HEY GUYS I’M FAT RESPECT ME” bullshit really gets on my fucking nerves.
The media does not represent what the majority likes. The majority of media is owned and created by straight, cis, white men. *They* decide what gets put out. You really believe that the type of shit we’re sold every day is a perfect indication of the majority of society instead of what the media wants you to believe is “normal?” You think everyone likes that vanilla bullshit? You gotta be kidding me.
Regardless of the health risks, you still want to transition. Because it’s important to your identity. You are who you are, and you want to express that. There are people who look at the trans* community and think “who could want that?” But why the fuck does it matter? It’s your body, it’s your business. Fat is demonized and people think “who could want that?” too. But some of us do. We really really do love being fat! And even for those who don’t, they still deserve to be treated well regardless of that fact. (And before you bring up any more bullshit about health, I’ll urge you to check out the links I sent you. You obviously didn’t the first time, or else you would realize how flawed your argument is. If you actually want to argue your side, educate yourself.)
You support the oppression of fat people when you adhere to the bullshit ideology that is “just deal with it.” No. Fuck you. I refuse to “deal with it.” I will always fight back.
I don’t give a shit about your definition of fat. Fat is fat is fat is fat. All fat people, small and big and inbetween, deserve their humanity. You’re an asshole for trying to regulate how much respect someone deserves based on their body fat. So like, if I was a size 16, I’d be okay. But shit, I jump up to a 28 and BOOM, all humanity must be stripped from me. No. Fuck. You.
“You don’t deserve respect because you’re fat. You deserve respect because you’re a human being.” EXACTLY. Right on the fuckin’ money. The problem is fat people aren’t treated like human beings. As soon as someone is fat, everything about their lives comes into question about how “damaged” they are, which is bullshit. You don’t deserve respect because you’re trans*. You deserve respect because you’re human. But because you are trans*, people will question your humanity. How is that fucking fair? IT ISN’T. But if someone told you to “deal with it” - how would that make you feel?
Bringing light to the way society treats people isn’t “whining.” Things won’t change unless we change them. Helping people to acknowledge, in the first place, that shit is fucked up, is surely the first step to that process.
If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t keep replying. You’re mad that a fat person wants respect - and that just reinforces everything I’m saying, because you don’t think a fat person deserves to be heard.
Get your shit together.
What shakethecobwebs said all the way.
“You support the oppression of fat people when you adhere to the bullshit ideology that is “just deal with it.” No. Fuck you. I refuse to “deal with it.” I will always fight back.”
Yeeeess!
What if I want to be skinny? I'm over 220 pounds right now, and I hate it. I hate feeling so heavy. I hate looking at myself. I hate not being able to run a lap in gym class without stopping. I hate looking so stupid in pretty clothes. Why is it not okay to want to be skinny? I'm not even an attractive-looking fat girl. All of it is in my stomach, people as if I'm pregnant all the time. That wouldn't happen if I was skinny. I hate how my body looks. Why is it not okay to want to change it?
It is okay to feel like you want to change your body. It’s perfectly normal and is something I’m quite sure every human experiences. We each feel it in different ways. At the heart of everything, finding love for yourself is the hardest but most important thing you can achieve, especially when the contempt you have for your body is overwhelming.
I can relate to every single word you say. I hated my body for a long time. I hated myself as well, my thoughts and feelings, I could never please myself. I didn’t treat myself well, I put my body through hell, and my thoughts were destructive. I can’t pinpoint what or how I was able to turn my thoughts around. Between finding fat acceptance and becoming an adult, something clicked - and I knew I had to learn to embrace my body at any stage, to love myself as I am, otherwise I would be trapped in this circle of perpetual hate, trying to lose weight, failing, hating myself, etc. I had to stop it.
When you focus on your physical and mental health rather than how your body may or may not be perceived, it’s a different way of life. You stop looking at things in terms of what will create aesthetic change and start thinking about changing the way you FEEL.
Try something new. Listen to your body. Do things because they make you feel good and focus on that enjoyment, the self-satisfaction of knowing you’re doing something fulfilling for yourself. If you’re disappointed in how your body performs, as you’ve commented on being unable to run laps - move your body and feel the change. Losing weight is not important, all that matters is you find peace within yourself, find health and wellness at a level that is right for you. Health is possible at every size. I really hope you’ll try.
Regarding your belly, your beautiful round lump of love - let people make assumptions. They don’t know you or your body.
And as for looking stupid in pretty clothes, that is quite subjective, my dear. I bet you look fucking fabulous. There are so many fatties on this earth, dolling up their fat bodies, dressed to kill. There’s no avoiding the fact that fat bodies can be fashionable.