January 2012
RIOTS NOT DIETS: Help! Fat fashion/style project →
riotsnotdiets.com
Dearest fatties of the internet,
I am trying to suss out some questions I have about “fat style” for an upcoming independent study (potentially my dissertation topic) and I need a little help. I would so love it if those of you whom post “OOTDs” could email me a couple of your most popular posts……
“Respect Your Body. Accept your genetic blueprint. Just as a person with a shoe size of eight would not expect to realistically squeeze into a size six, it is equally as futile (and uncomfortable) to have the same expectation with body size. But mostly, respect your body, so you can feel better about who you are. It’s hard to reject the diet mentality if you are unrealistic and overly critical about your body shape.”
—Learning about Intuitive Eating.
Full Fat Milk: Moving Toward the Ugly: A Politic Beyond Desirability →
mymilkspilt.tumblr.com
Moving Toward the Ugly: A Politic Beyond Desirability*Femmes Of Color Symposium Keynote Speech, Oakland, CA (8/21/11)
Good afternoon, and thank you for having me. It is lovely to be here with you all. Thank you to the symposium organizers who have asked me to be…
One of my dearest friends just sent me a photo message. “Here’s a photo of my belly…I wanted you to have it.”
Seriously all it takes to bring an evening from 0 to 10 is for a gorgeous lady love to send me an unexpected photo of her belly.
Truth Behind Fat: References
from danishmodernlady
This is my go-to page when I’m looking for (or trying to remember the links to) references about why the “obesity panic” is dangerous and overreaching.
AHHH thank you thank youuuuu! I always end up pointing to a Kate Harding link, need to organize and step up my sources. You’re fab. <3
Gosh I love seeing all these posts about swimming! It makes me relate to this place even more. I had practice today (after finding out that I qualified for Districts!) and we're currently in the 'as much drag as possible' stage too. Some of the guys have some funky colored drag suits!
Ohhh awesome, congrats on qualifying and good luck!!
Haha all these swim-related posts are just me being nostalgic for high school and trying to think back on what I used to love about sports. I definitely loved most aspects of swimming, I was a swimmer for most of my life, but the meets were torture. I’d launch into panic attacks and/or get sick - much preferred practice and drills. :)
Hi! I'm a grad student giving a lecture this week which includes material about the increasing rate of obesity in Western countries. Any tips on how to say "obesity is increasingly common and the health care system is a little concerned" in a way that doesn't imply "obese people are all bad/unhealthy/other bad things..."?
I would suggest you do some research on the “obesity epidemic” being a myth.
Just Googling “obesity epidemic myth” comes up with a wealth of information on the first page of results.
Good luck. :)
“Like the fantasy of being thin, the desire to be pretty is backed by a multi-billion dollar industry and untold numbers of daily encounters with people who’ve swallowed the social pressures whole and made them their own mission to prescribe. Girls who desire a piece of the pretty pie aren’t misguided, inherently frivolous or lacking in ambition. They want to do stuff; it’s just they’ve internalised the message that they must look good doing it for it to count for anything. And that is why the right to be ugly — the right to do and be without being gazed upon and always found wanting — is worth defending.”
—Spilt Milk - Panic Over Pretty
“the american generation in schools now is expected to live less long than their parents due to poor health and more than a third are expected to develop diabetes.”
Wrong. This statement is pure fat-shaming propaganda. Just look at the actual life expectancy projections (pdf) published by the US Census. I don’t see any declines in there. In fact, other reputable organizations believe that the US government is actually underestimating expected lifespan!
And here’s the thing about diabetes: It’s complex. People don’t just get diabetes (type 1 or 2, though we’re primarily talking about type 2 here) because they gorge themselves on sugar and other carbohydrates. Type 2 diabetes is primarily genetic. Some people, no matter what they eat or how inactive they are, will never develop it. Others will lead active lives, eat a nutritious, balanced diet, and still develop it at some point in their lives. Diabetes develops as a complex interaction between genetics, environment, and lifestyle, and mitigating all three of these is near impossible. Even the American Diabetes Association knows this.
So just stop with your buts. Fat shaming is bad for people’s health. Far worse, in fact, than being fat.
in reference to that post the other day about dude not liking body hair on women
the thing is it’s not a surprise when someone doesn’t find something like that attractive
when people say stuff like that i feel like going YOU DON’T SAY?!?! REALLY?? YOU DON’T LIKE ANYTHING THAT DEVIATES FROM THE GENDER NORMS THE PATRIARCHY HAS SCRIPTED FOR US? WHAT A SURPRISE.
and people will say “well folks are allowed to have their preferences”
and you know what they’re right. but i want people to understand that their preferences are very much socially influenced. if we lived in a society where hairy women was normal, more people would find it attractive.
i want people to understand that their preferences are hardly their own but rather that of their culture.
and i want people to understand that those preferences put pressure on others to follow that script so everything stays as it is. i want people to understand what they call “their preferences” are likely inherently very oppressive. something as simple as not like body hair on a woman, as though it’s the first time it’s been uttered from a man’s mouth, actually dictates what others are and are not allowed to do without being socially ridiculed.
you think i don’t know people won’t find me gross cause i’m hairy? yeah.
so again, when people basically say “oh i’m just not attracted to any woman that’s hairy or a WOC or fat or whatever it’s just my preference” it’s not like you’re a unique individual. men have the privilege of being able to dictate their preferences as such, they keep those preferences in place, and keep others in check with these “preferences”.
male privilege allows my [white, cisgender, straight] male friend to tell me to put my arms down in public lest people see my hairy pits, or tell me he doesn’t find black girls attractive.
but he’s allowed to have these preferences.
these socially constructed, oppressive, racist, sexist, what-have-you preferences.
just be aware okay?
this is lovely.
be aware, stay informed, know why you think the way you do and open yourself up to the possibility of changing your mind and gaining new perspectives.
“This body image stuff doesn’t just affect those of us who are fatter. It affects all of us. The reason why people advocate for fat acceptance is because fat people are significantly disadvantaged and discriminated against in our society. We are robbed of our individual health under the BMI, and our individuality when we are called “The Obese”. It’s assumed that fat people are only fat due to over-consumption without taking into account intersectionality of class, race and ability issues. We aren’t represented in the media (well, everything EXCEPT OUR HEADS). Even clothes to cover our bodies are scarcer and more expensive, and those bodies are used as caricature for negative personality traits: lazy, ugly, smelly, undisciplined, etc etc. So that’s why this is a significant social justice issue because we have some serious power imbalance crap going on, but it can’t be denied that healthy body image is a right for every human being. Our western culture is working against every human being when we do not challenge assumptions like “thin = healthy, sexy, acceptable”.”
—
“Cognitive Dissonance is a Helluva Bitch” by Definatalie (via fuckyeahfatpositive
)
- Me (looking at old videos): We look so liiiiittle! We have gained a lots of weight in 5 years.
- My boyfriend: And we're still sexy as fuck and cute as buttons!
Sadface.
TW: weight loss/diet talk
Was just browsing Pinterest and saw that this beautiful fat girl I know repinned someone’s “before and after weightloss” photos with the caption “This girl is really inspirational. Really puts into perspective what dedication does for weight loss.”
Right now I’m sort of struggling with what to do, because now that I’m learning more and more about Health At Every Size I kind of can’t stop seeing how terribly misguided some people are and I want to help them, or at least give them a chance to understand health and weight in a more positive light.
Trying to inform someone that something they knew to be true has proven to be wrong is so daunting, because you know they either won’t believe you or will fight back in some form…And most of the time, I don’t have the energy to want to keep up with it.
I just wish I could just be like “WHABAM!!” and throw something at them that answers all their questions and proves that weight and health are not one in the same.
Maybe this would be a good opportunity to create some sort of kit, like the “all the things you never knew about fat and bodies and weight loss and everything society never tells you” kit…
I’ll work on the name.
Just because
You dress cute, quirky, or wear hippie or vintage clothes, doesn’t mean you can’t wear a good bra. A good bra makes all the difference.
Hmmm…
While there may have been I time I would say the same thing, maybe try thinking about it from another perspective.
I mean, you’re essentially projecting your own body ideals onto someone else when you make that kind of statement. When it comes down to it, is anything positive going to come out of thinking or speaking out this way?
Mind you, this is coming from someone who once told a naturally rail-thin girl “damn, you need a cheeseburger!” - which is a really shaming thing to say, whether intended to be or not or not.
Are a pair of hanging, natural breasts less attractive than ones supported by a bra? Are bra’s really necessary? For aesthetic or comfort, for sure - but everyone has different ideals when it comes to those things and maybe we should respect that. :3
Redefining Body Image: TW: eating disorders and body shaming →
redefiningbodyimage.tumblr.com
Anonymous asked redefiningbodyimage:
girl purging and a girl binge eating (assuming she ate that entire box of chocolate) = both eating disorders.
Um okay except you’re making an assumption that a fat chick ate an entire box of chocolate in one sitting based on a gif that only…
Normal eating includes times when you overeat, because it tastes delicious or you’re really happy or you just want to, even if you feel quite stuffed. It also includes undereating and getting hungrier sooner. Not every meal has to be perfectly portioned down to the nutrient and calorie. Normal eating based on your body’s needs and your own intuition is flexible and varied from day to day. Eating a whole box of chocolate is not a binge, and doesn’t signify disordered eating.
Good on that foxy lady eating the chocolate in the .gif. The food looks delicious and she looks like she’s enjoying herself. If only we could all be doing the same as her.
Bolded for emphasis. I was only gonna bold one bit but then I realized it was all amazing. BOLD ALL THE THINGS!
I never said fat bodies are unworthy and unhealthy. If you're saying that no one should make assumptions, then your comment that a thin woman purging doesn't equate to a gif of a fat woman eating chocolate is totally irrelevant. You're assumptioning things about that thin woman then. I didn't mean to offend anyone but it's just painful how everybody says that 'fat is beautiful' while they're all putting down thin people. No. Both are okay, and sometimes both are unhealthy.
Assumptioning! That’s a fun word you just made up there.
I’m not going to continue this discussion but I would recommend reading my blog. This one. The one that I created with an intention to challenge society’s perceptions of what is beautiful and normal, where I aim to celebrate bodies of all shapes, sizes, colors and gender identities. Then maybe you’ll understand where I and hundreds of other people who are fed up with body policing and fat hate are coming from. That’s all I ask.
TW: eating disorders and body shaming
Anonymous asked redefiningbodyimage:
girl purging and a girl binge eating (assuming she ate that entire box of chocolate) = both eating disorders.
Um okay except you’re making an assumption that a fat chick ate an entire box of chocolate in one sitting based on a gif that only shows her consuming one piece. You’re filling in the lines with your own assumptions about fat bodies.
You’re also making an assumption that a woman has an eating disorder based on a hypothetical photo of her purging. You don’t know her, her situation, or why she’s purging - you’re looking at a photo on the fucking internet and making an assumption.
Seriously, am I making this hard to understand or something? I thought it was pretty simple. STOP. ASSUMING.
I’ve eaten an entire box of chocolates in one sitting, but that doesn’t mean I have an eating disorder. I’m sure plenty of people have done the same after a particularly bad day or in response to some sort of craving. It’s human, it’s what we do.
Food is comforting and sometimes we indulge a little more than we “should”, but doing so doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, or even an unhealthy one.
To make a long story short, as a society, we really need to try to stop taking things at face value. Stop making assumptions that you are not qualified to make. It’s harmful and perpetuates body hate. Just fucking stop.
(Made this ask into a text post to preface with a trigger warning.)
TW: eating disorders and body shaming
This^
And that’s why you’re that size… I’m never usually bitchy about someone’s weight but blatantly not giving a shit that you’re ruining your health, putting pressure on your organs and decreasing your mortality really gets on my tits. I’m not the slimmest nor healthiest of people but at least I accept this and I’m changing my lifestyle to give my body a better chance. Do the same.
Is she negatively affecting your life? No. So stfu and don’t tell her what to do with her own life and her own body.
Just because you think that bigger is wrong doesn’t mean that she has to do what you tell her. Bigger doesn’t automatically mean unhealthier, there are plenty of bigger people who live to be really old and die of natural causes while being healthy their entire life.
If you want to lose weight or think that you need to be small to be healthy then you go right ahead but fuck you for trying to tell someone else to do it too.
^ YES.
Body/health shaming really gets on my tits.
GTFO.
^^ amen. ”I’m changing my lifestyle to give my body a better chance. Do the same. ” Well, pin a rose on your nose. How DARE you try and tell someone what to do with their own body, just because you seem to think you’re better than her because you’re unhappy with your body? ugh. Body shamer alert…
I think all bodies are beautiful, and the girl on this picture is beautiful as well. However, if this would have been a photo of some stick thin girl with her head above the toilet, none of you would say ‘It’s their own choice how they treat their bodies so just let them be.’ And those people are affecting your life negatively just as little as this girl does. All bodies are beautiful, but sometimes you need to draw a line. Of course it’s okay if this girl eats chocolate once in a while, but she should however care about her health, just as much as a skinny girl should and just as much as any girl/woman should.
Okay a gif of a thin woman purging does not equate to a gif of a fat woman eating a piece of fucking chocolate, I really don’t know how you made that comparison but it’s a terribly distructive way of thinking - and prefacing your commentary with “all bodies are beautiful” doesn’t make what you’re saying any less harmful.
The point is not only about letting people do what they like with their own bodies (which in itself is pretty important, because I mean how the fuck is your body anyone else’s business anyway?) - it’s also about not making assumptions about a person’s health based on their looks or what little you know about their eating habits.
By assuming and projecting your bullshit onto other people you are reinforcing the idea that fat bodies are unworthy and unhealthy when they have every possibility to be both.
“
Instead of weighing yourself, take personal stock in a more direct fashion. Feel your body, including all the soft parts, the ones you like and the ones you don’t. Look at yourself in a large mirror. Naked. Every day. If I were a pessimist I’d call this aversion therapy, but really it’s meant to get you familiar with yourself on a seriously intimate level. Resist the urge to judge; just look.
If it helps, imagine you are exploring an unknown territory on another world, and you must memorize every feature. Mounds and crevices and varied textures are not unpleasant in a landscape; they simply exist. See everything, as often as you can stand it, until you know your body thoroughly. After all, this IS what your body looks like, whether you are seeing it or not.
On a day to day basis, we are quite capable of relying on our own personal knowledge of our bodies to tell us how we’re doing, how we’re feeling, and whether anything has changed — without a scale to help. We don’t need a scale. We don’t need a number. We can know when we have gained or lost weight, when something doesn’t look right, when we feel strange or unwell. In order for this to work, we have to cultivate a bodily knowledge, and I believe the scale is an obstacle to that.
With its numbers and its complex web of possible meaning, the scale stands between our bodies and our fullest conscious awareness of them; it defines us by pounds and not by how we actually feel; it enables us to rely on a number to tell us we are doing things right, instead of empowering us to decide when we feel our best.
The scale contributes to a culture that tells us that if we weigh more than X or less than Y then we cannot be happy with ourselves. And that, frankly, is bullshit.
” —ASK LESLEY: How Do I Stop Hating My Body (Part One) @ XOJane.com (via curvesahead)
I’ve probably reblogged this before but it bears repeating, especially to myself because although I don’t own a scale I can’t seem to stop myself from stepping on one when I see it.
“Mom, I’m Fat:” One Mother’s Inspired Response to Her 7 Year Old →
rachelsimmons.com
by Janell HofmannI am sitting, cross legged, on the bathroom floor trimming my five year old daughters’ toenails. My nine year old son showers his muddy body as I lean against the tub. My three year old daughter wrestles herself into pajamas in her bedroom. My eleven year old son bursts in from football practice and hollers upstairs about reheating leftovers and having a sore throat. My husband is out dropping our minivan off for a tune up. The sun has set and we’re putting another day to rest. In the confusion of this typical weeknight, I glance up from the floor at my seven year old daughter, standing on the step stool, completely undressed, brushing her teeth. I don’t like the way she is looking at herself in the mirror. I don’t like the way she pokes at her belly and frowns at her profile. I watch her for another minute and step in.
“What’s up, girl?” I ask. “I’m fat.” she responds without hesitation. I’m instantly weak. She continues, “My stomach jiggles when I run. I want to be skinny. I want my stomach to go flat down.” I am silent. I have read the books, the blogs, the research. I have aced gender studies, mass media, society and culture courses in college. I have given advice to other mothers. I run workshops and programming for middle school girls. I have traveled across the world to empower women and children in poverty. I am over qualified to handle this comment. But in reality, my heart just breaks instead. I am mush. Not my girl.
I rally some composure and stay cool. “You are built just perfect – strong and healthy.” And she is. But this doesn’t soothe.
I flounder. This child – my first and wildly celebrated daughter – was breastfed girl power. I read picture books with only central female characters, I insisted she wrestle her big brothers, demanded family call her words like smart and brave as much as cute and adorable. I tell her we are all different – straight and thin to round and plump and millions of ways in between. I tell her it’s what makes us all beautiful. Unconvinced.
I send all the other kids away. I shut the door and we sit face to face on the floor. There is more here and I need to see it through. I tell her I looked just like her when I was seven. I tell her she will grow to be tall and strong and fierce, like me. Not good enough. I reach and scramble. I tell her how fast she runs. Remind her of the goal she scored in soccer. What an expert she is on her bike and the amazing balance and tricks she does on her scooter. I remind her of her high level reading, her artwork, her mastery of math facts. “Fat.”
I grow desperate. “Child! What is the first thing everyone tells you when they meet you?” She sighs, “I’m beautiful.” Beauty is not helping me here. I’m failing. Pleading, I ask her why. Her blues eyes meet mine. She tells me on two different occasions friends have called her “kind of fat” when they were talking about bodies this summer in their bathing suits. And she felt sad. But she also felt good because finally she confirmed that what she thought about her body was “mostly true”.
I think a few bad thoughts about her peers and their mothers and wonder what messages are being sent. I am out of tools. And now twenty minutes later, I’m out of patience too. I feel powerless to what seems certain to her. And I cannot understand how she does not see all of life’s perfection in her reflection.
I stand her up on the step stool in front of the mirror. I strip off my yoga pants, my tee shirt, my bra and underwear. We are side by side completely naked together. She laughs. I start singing a song that I’m making up as I go. It’s rap meets Raffi with lyrics like “We are perfect, just the way we are.” It’s wild and silly, but I cannot be stopped. We’re shaking everything, and she’s belly laughing and totally thrilled. I pick her up. We are a ridiculous and magnificent pair. The other kids hear the commotion and barge in. They are confused and horrified. I carry her to the bedroom raving about all the ways we are powerful and naked and women. We settle into comfy pajamas and read a story together. Fat is not mentioned again.
On this night, I have no idea if I have succeeded. I’m not sure if what I said and did had an impact, if I fixed anything, or even if I changed her mind. But I do know that I must continue to infuse myself and my children with bold confidence. I must check in, ask questions, take the time. I must build and undo. I must be open and genuine. I must but willing to dance naked in the mirror, resist the urge to see all the ways five babies have changed me, and stare straight into my reflection with love. Then together, with a twinkle in our eyes, we only see radiance shining back.
I can only hope to be this great a mother one day.
Random update: Redefining Body Image may be going through some changes lately as I am designing an identity system/logo and redesigning the Tumblr blog as well as getting ready to launch a legit Wordpress blog. Thanks babes!